I Am From–Guest Post by Ben Cooper

Here at Remembering the Time, I hear wonderful stories and love to showcase a variety of writers sharing their personal history work. This guest post is from multi-book author Ben Cooper. He is a husband, father, Christian author, beekeeper, and friend to everyone he meets. He was raised on a family farm and earned a degree in Agricultural Science from Penn State University. He retired after working 32 years for the Maryland Department of Agriculture to spend more time writing, speaking, teaching, and beekeeping. Come along with Ben on a journey down memory lane in his prose poem memoir. (Photo credit Ben Cooper Fombell General Store)

I Am From – Ben Cooper

I am from penny candy, red licorice fish, counted out by hand at the General Store that carried everything, so I thought.

I am from a multi-generational family farm:
from a two-mile stretch of pavement that dissected cropland, pastures, woods, yards, and streams;
from the rural life where cattle outnumbered people;
from a place where neighbors would stop and talk or lend a hand;
from a much slower time and place.

I am from a well-trodden path directing me from home to the farm and beyond:
from Tonka trucks and pedal tractors to a bicycle with a banana seat and my
first car (a 1972 Plymouth Valiant);
from a wooden bench swing hung each year from the limb of a maple tree,
from black and white television with rabbit ears;
from collecting Mallow Cup points and anxiously waiting for them to come
in the hot summer as they melted along their journey to our mailbox;
from returnable glass soda bottles and redeemable green stamps.

I am from rows of sweet corn planted, hoed and grown for 4-H:
from selling it by the roadside and giving an extra ear for every dozen sold,
(baker’s dozen);
from proudly showing it at the local fair in hopes of a blue ribbon.

I am from oversized work shoes bought for my ever-growing feet during the last week of school to protect them on the farm,
from being told to take care of them because they had to last a whole year.

I am from large family gatherings at holidays:
from sitting at the kids’ table until I had kids of my own to take my place;
from seeing out-of-state plates on cars in the driveway nearly every weekend.

I am from watchful eyes as a dozer shapes a twelve-foot-deep pond in a pasture field that would serve as a place to swim, fish, ice skate, and enjoy for years;
from learning those same skills to survey and design farm ponds in another
place, so that the same benefits would carry on to a new generation.

I am from Penn State University:
a chance to experience more than I ever expected;
a place that broadened my scope of education and shaped my vocation;
a taste of the vastness of the world our awesome God created.

I am from stewardship:
from being taught how to care for people, land, and animals by my father,
grandfather and great-grandfather;
from strength, hard work, and tender compassion for all living things.

I am from Adam:
knowing at twelve, I needed to be saved by faith in Jesus Christ;
from answering the call to serve Him here, in the Caribbean, and Pakistan;
from Jumonville, an annual glimpse of heaven with sweet fellowship;
from a country church inside the city limits, where the old hymns are
sung, the Word of God preached, and baptisms are done in the creek.

I am from Fombell, Pennsylvania, United States of America:
from British immigrants, who migrated here over 125 years ago for a new life;
from loved ones, young and old, who have passed away, but not forgotten;
from sweet, iced tea and Young’s frozen custard;
from Wayne and Shirley.

I am from vitality:
from a drawer of 10K race T-shirts and a pile of running shoes;
from caving, backpacking and seeking out the road less traveled;
from birthing classes with Sonia and welcoming five children into this world.

I am from cancer:
from an invading force that humbles all who stand in its path;
from experiencing the blessings of a mighty prayer army that moved
the heart of God;
from surgery, bone grafts, and radiation treatments;
from cards, letters, phone calls, and emails from family and friends who
weren’t afraid to show their support;
from dear, departed friends who fought much tougher battles than I;
from reaching down deep inside and using my faith in God to fuel my
recovery to where, twice now, I have proclaimed five years, cancer-free.

I am from words:
crafted by emotions, inspiration, and thoughts that came together in
the form of a book;
from seeing pages come alive with anticipation to holding the finished copy;
from getting my first, second, and third endorsement from well-known people
with a much larger following than myself;
from hearing the response from an unknown reader who expressed joy in
reading what I was inspired to write.

I am from the dust of this earth and will return to it someday. And as long as God grants me breath, I will do my best to please the One who created me.

###

Thank you for reading! Here’s a link to Ben’s author page on Amazon, you’re invited to take a look at his books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Ben-Cooper/author/B07N33S7K1?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1750182995&sr=1-1&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=fb1ca479-8036-4009-a460-729752fca7dc

Like this and want to learn more about sharing your story? You can find a subscribe link to join the email blog list for memoir and family history tips, ideas, and all things personal history writing on the website: https://rememberingthetime.net/

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Butterflies, Kittens, and Kickin’ Horses

I am a born optimist, looking for the good comes naturally. But it’s not all butterflies and kittens out there. Whether it’s a physical injury or an emotional one, the saddest, most painful times in our lives can be part of the extraordinary process of shaping our unique humanness. Heat, pressure, pain, grief, loneliness, and confusion all play starring roles in our lives in at least one scene.

Pay attention to the “negative” events when you’re working on your life story, whether you’re well on your way to processing them or they still don’t make sense. Our scars and damaged bits are part of the whole package. And they often make us stronger. A painful truth! For example, when a bone is broken, it knits together stronger.

One summer afternoon years ago, I was turning my horse out to pasture under the shady pecan trees in our orchard. The mare was young and high-strung, and the granddaughter of a racehorse. In her joy to run free, she kicked sideways like a karate boss and caught my forearm before I could move.  The pain as the bone broke was stunning! I’m eternally thankful that my arm was across my chest at the time. That piston kick with a thousand pounds behind it did not hit my heart. Or my head.

That bone is stronger now, but also hurts when used too hard or when the weather starts to change. Hey Grandpa, I can sympathize with you now!  The aftereffects of our injuries often stay with us.

Walking away from that accident is a reminder to me of  God’s grace.

Well, sort of, first I crawled. But—I never let go of the lead rope! My takeaway lesson is that sometimes I need to slow down a little, pay attention, and be on my toes around 1000-pound animals. Or other heavyweight problems.

Memoir Prompt:

Sit next to the injury, the sadness, or the anger. Don’t run away from it. Write about it with honesty. You’ll take a giant step toward healing and allowing the emotions and events to take their proper place in your history.

Tips:

*Try writing the story as just facts.

*Rewrite the story with all the emotions.

*Write what “should” have happened, what you’d do differently.

Then—move forward, lighter and wiser. Ready to share your story? Let’s talk about your butterflies, kittens, and kickin’ horses.

(Kicking horse photo courtesy carlos-fernando-bendfeldt via Unsplash)

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5 Powerful Lessons Learned About the Memoir Writing Journey

Ever embarked on a journey through your past, pen in hand, ready to etch your life’s story onto the pages of a memoir? It’s an adventure that unveils lessons as timeless as the memories we cherish.

Writing a memoir is so much more than the dry act of recording events from the past; it’s a deeply reflective and transformative journey. Remember how much more fun it was in school to learn history through stories and actual accounts, instead of a sterile list of dates and one-line summaries? Here are a few invaluable lessons I’ve gathered from helping others write their memoirs, hoping they inspire you to start yours:

1. The Power of Reflection

One of the first lessons I learned was the incredible power of reflection. During oral history interviews or while reviewing clients’ manuscripts is like doing a deep dive into their past.

As we revisit their experiences through the lens of their current perspective, we begin to understand their life’s trajectory in new ways.

This process of reflection helps us see the growth that occurred from challenges and the joy found in life’s simple moments.

2. Memory’s Fluidity

I’ve also been struck by the fluidity of memory. Our memories are not static; they evolve with time. Again, courtesy of that lens of current perspective. As we work together on a personal narrative, writers begin to see their past as not just a series of fixed points but a continuum that shapes and is shaped by their present.

Our ideas about past events can also be influenced by our current understanding and emotional state.

For example, I’ve watched writers experience an epiphany when viewing a parent’s life from the bird’s eye vantage point. Oh, so that’s why…This often leads to greater compassion and understanding.

3. The Art of Storytelling

Writing a memoir underscores the importance of storytelling. We work to weave experiences into a narrative that resonates deeply with both the writer and readers. Memoir writers look for the thread that connects disparate events and helps both themselves and others understand their life as a coherent story. This process highlights the significance of perspective and the choices we make in telling our stories.

If we can do this in a way that tugs at the heart, makes readers think, laugh, cry, and perhaps think Me too we’re honoring our story.

4. Healing Through Writing

The act of writing can be unexpectedly healing. It provides a space to process experiences, some of which were painful or difficult to understand at the time they occurred.

Sometimes, writers make an intentional choice to reframe a difficult experience.

Writing these memories, wherever they land on the emotion wheel, allows us to approach them with compassion and insight, facilitating a sense of closure and peace.

5. Legacy and Connection

Finally, I learned about the importance of legacy and connection. Memoir writing is not just for us; it’s a way to share our journey with others. It creates a bridge between generations, offering insights and understanding. This realization underscored the importance of preserving personal histories, not just as records of individual lives but as part of the collective human experience.

Humans throughout history have passed along their hard-won wisdom and knowledge through relating their experiences. I’m profoundly grateful for this and want to continue this life-giving tradition.

The journey of writing our memoirs is one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives.

It teaches us about the complexity of memory, the healing power of writing, and the importance of sharing our stories.

These lessons have not only enriched my understanding of my own life but have also deepened my appreciation for the stories of others. Through this process, I’ve realized that memoir writing is not just a personal endeavor but a valuable contribution to the colorful tapestry of human history.

Isn’t it time you experienced the magic of personal storytelling? Get started today with a handy no-fluff guide that will help you begin your memoir writing journey. Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir is available on Amazon in either print or eBook.

(Photo courtesy Nationaal Archief on Unsplash)

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From Memories to Memoirs: Unlocking Your Story with a Lifeline

The Power of Being Yourself

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. This timeless piece of wisdom from author Oscar Wilde is a beacon for anyone embarking on the journey of self-reflection and storytelling. It’s a call to embrace your unique story and share it with the world.

Imagine transforming your life’s moments, both big and small, into a captivating essay or book that resonates with friends, family, and future generations. This is where the concept of a Lifeline comes into play. It’s a simple, yet profound tool to help you organize and reflect on the events that have shaped you.

The Lifeline Project: Your First Step

Creating a Lifeline is akin to sketching the outline of a grand painting, where each stroke represents a pivotal moment in your life. You don’t need elaborate tools to begin—just grab some posterboard, copy paper, or even a whiteboard, and you’re set. Consider using sticky notes and a blank wall for a dynamic and flexible approach. This exercise isn’t just for aspiring authors; it’s for anyone eager to delve into their personal or family history with a fresh perspective.

**Getting Started**

Reserve about an hour and start by brainstorming a list of 10 life events. This initial step will open the floodgates to your memory, allowing more moments to surface naturally. You’ll be amazed at how much you can remember during this exercise!

Turning Points and Special Events

Every life is a tapestry of moments that, together, form a unique narrative. Highlighting the turning points and special events in your Lifeline not only outlines your story but also helps you understand the impact of these moments. Consider:

  • – Physical locations that hold significance
  • – Historical events that intersect with your personal journey

Add bullet points or brief notes about stories that come to mind during this process. Include every sensory detail you can remember. These initial snippets can later blossom into full chapters or essays. Or maybe even a poem if you’re so inclined.

Unleashing Creativity and Capturing Memories

Placing your Lifeline where you can see it daily encourages ongoing reflection and creativity. Let your mind wander through your past before bedtime, and keep a journal nearby to jot down any memories or ideas that emerge. In fact, keep something to take notes with on you at all times during this process. Memories pop up at the strangest times and you don’t want to forget. This practice can unearth forgotten treasures and inspire new insights, potentially becoming key components of your story.

The Act of Starting

Louis L’Amour once said,

Start writing – no matter what – the water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.

Your Lifeline is that faucet.

Whether you prefer jotting down notes, using a voice recording app, or sharing memories with a friend, the key is to begin. This simple act of starting can unleash a flow of creativity and memories, paving the way for your storytelling journey. Give yourself a chance!

Sharing Your Story

Now that you’ve embarked on this journey of self-discovery and storytelling, consider sharing a piece of your Lifeline with others. Whether it’s through a personal essay, a blog post, or a conversation with a loved one, your story deserves to be heard. Remember, it’s not just about preserving memories; it’s about celebrating the unique path you’ve traveled and the wisdom gained along the way.

I’d love to hear about an event from your Lifeline or your goals for storytelling this year. Feel free to hit reply or share with a friend for that extra bit of motivation. Let’s turn those taps on and let our stories flow!

Happy Storytelling!

Karen

PS: Want a couple resources to help you create a Lifeline? Check out my handy memoir writing guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir. Or visit the Etsy shop for an elegant Lifeline Journal Bundle ready for you to download and print out so you can begin your journey.

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Grandma’s Table

Memoirs and family histories can be shared in many ways. Here’s a poetic version that not only caught my attention during a visit with a fellow writing friend, it made me catch my breath. The way she weaves experiences through and around the story of an object is fascinating. Thank you, Gretchen, for sharing your work with us.

Gretchen Blais is an author and surrealist and mixed media artist. She grew up in Santa Cruz, California – in her own words here’s the start of her artistic path:
 
My journey as an artist began one rainy Thanksgiving Day 40 plus years ago when my family and I were visiting out of town.  My host suggested we all paint since it was too wet to be outside.  It was a memorable event for four adults and six young children.  I came away with an experience hard to describe.  I felt that something was released, never to become invisible again. My pencil began to travel with me wherever I went and the edgy surreal forms began to emerge seemingly on their own. Although I could sit and draw in the middle of chaos, the struggle to claim the title of Artist was a long journey with flashbacks to memories of elementary school when I wanted to be an artist when I grew up.  Finally, in my 70’s, I am grown up and an artist.
 
Gretchen is retired from her career as a licensed psychotherapist and makes her home in southern New Mexico where she writes and continues to create new art. To view more of her work visit:
 www.gretchenblaisart.weebly.com.


Grandma’s Table
by Gretchen Blais

I gaze at you and I hear
“I understand nothing of what I see.”

I breathe.

I sit and a new experience
Begins to unfold.
It’s a shift in my awareness,
In my understanding of you,
A picture and memories begins to emerge.

I see the seedling from whence you came.
I feel the earth receptive to your needs.
The rich soil moistened from the dew.
Water to nourish and help push your roots down
As the sun gently pulls you upward.

Up towards the sky, to reach higher and higher.
Your trunk, your branches, the energy flowing.
Day following day and year following year.
Until one day you reach a pinnacle.
A time comes and a transformation is upon you.

The ax, the saw driven into you fibers.
I sensed the lumberjack’s movement.
The swing of the ax, the saw back and forth,
Until you succumbed and fell. On your way down,
Rubbing against other trees, you settled with a crash.

I see the ropes, the chains, the wagon dragging you,
Moving you to where you could be made into boards.
Where legs were carved and pieces merged together
To become something new – a table,
Grandma’s table.

My eyes see them, the ones who sat and feasted at the table.
The ones who laughed and cried for generations.
The history of them is there.
My grandmother, my grandfather, my father and mother,
All my sisters and brothers, myself, my children and grandchildren.

The kitchen I remember, the activities I knew, the gatherings.
Games, homework, laughter, discussions, arguments, meals and so many soups
Each summer the canning of peaches, and pears, the tomatoes and corn.
The strings beans and the jellies and jams
To feed us through the winter as we sat at Grandma’s table.

The sap no longer runs through the tree veins.
But the generations of those who touched the table,
They bring energy and it keeps moving.
Grandma’s table keeps adding a rich tapestry
To each person’s life, generation after generation.

***

(Photo courtesy of Kevin Schmid @Unsplash)

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How to be a Family History Clutter Cutter

family history, memoir writing

A friend posted this statement today in a memoir writing discussion thread:  “Tomorrow is too late, live today” Then she asked, “Would you agree?” Wow! I can’t stop thinking about this, it’s such an interesting thought and question.

Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!

So many people become stuck in the mire of perfection. Someday, when “x” happens, if this is settled, then I’ll…. We’ve all talked this way. But then…decades go by and you’ve missed out on precious time and memories.

While of course it’s wise to plan and implement for today, tomorrow, and the future, there are opportunities and decisions that must be acted on in the moment. Over analyzing can keep us stuck. That said, it is never too late to take the next right step! As for me, I thrive on balanced living in all three time zones, past, present, and future (I do work with memoir, after all). This one life is a priceless gift and I don’t want to waste a minute of it. So today is simple, sweet, and designed to get you future authors and family historians un-stuck.

Here’s one big Seize the Day tip, it’s like a NEON YELLOW easy button, that can help you move forward with writing your memoir or family history:

#1:  REPURPOSE things you’ve already created to get a jumpstart on your memoir content. Can you really do this? Sure thing –  letters, recipes, journal entries, newspaper clippings, even descriptions of gifts you’ve made can form the foundation for a new chapter. You can include them as is, expound on the material, or use them as memory prompts. Create a themed collection if you like and make a simple photo book.

Photo book companies send out frequent discounts and can be an easy way to share the story of your keepsakes. Think beyond just photos, you can add story text, recipes, use your imagination. Try Shutterfly, Blurb, Mixbook, Snapfish, Picaboo to name just a few…search for the sales codes.

Now is the ideal time to begin thinking about a simple project to create as a gift for upcoming holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. Books like these gain instant heirloom status and are the secret sauce in memorable gift-giving.

By sharing the story behind family history keepsakes everyone benefits. No one gains if they stay shoved in a box. It is not the item that is of value but the memories behind it. Are you getting the most mileage from these materials you can? Do a little digging and help your family gain a rich understanding of  their background and history. You’ll have fun in the process.

Bonus tip: Bet you thought of at least a couple items in your family history collection that you can do this with. Now, go and IMMEDIATELY APPLY these ideas to your treasures while the thought is fresh. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write out everything that comes to mind. Organize it later!

Need help? Feel free to contact me anytime and we’ll brainstorm some options. I’d love to hear from you!

Karen

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New Mexico Spring–a Tale of Kites, Dirt and Snow

New Mexico is many beautiful things. One thing it is never is boring! The past few days—mind you, just before spring officially began–brought an incredible variety of weather. San Augustin Pass, our route over the scenic Organ Mountains, was closed due to wind and hit a 104 mph gust. That is comparable to a Category 2 hurricane people! Then it closed again due to a snowstorm. The plows were dusted off, literally, and sent up the mountain to scoop away the white stuff.

Spring winds here are normal and remind me of the fun my brother and I used to have building kites out of newspaper and bamboo. My dad used to egg us on with stories of the six foot kite he built that really did tug him off the ground. Fired up by the lure of flight, we’d trek to the drainage ditch to cut down long dry bamboo poles. After dragging them home across plowed fields, we’d collect newspaper, glue, rags and string from Mom, then turn the living room floor into a kite factory.

A couple of hours later we’d ease our creations out the door and head to the pasture or the dirt lot behind the house to see if we could achieve flight. Oh, sweet anticipation! We’d yell with the thrill of feeling the wind pull and snap those ragged homemade kites up like sails. Feeling the string yank the tethers on our scrawny wrists, we were sure that with the next gust we would fly.

We never did but we sure got close a few times!

May your spring be joyful and tug at your soul,

Karen

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Contact Me

Please contact me for more information or to to schedule a free consultation. I look forward to visiting with you.






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    Karen Ray

    Address: 331 Bristol Avenue, Las Cruces, NM, 88001

    Phone: 575-323-1048


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