Karen Ray – Remembering the Time

Giddyup – Ride Your Story Horse Down a Different Trail

April 15, 2025April 15, 2025

We hear a lot these days about limiting beliefs and how they can control our future success. Author Jack Canfield says:

All too often we’re filled with negative and limiting beliefs. We’re filled with doubt. We’re filled with guilt or with a sense of unworthiness. We have a lot of assumptions about the way the world is that are actually wrong.

We can fall into the trap of repeating these beliefs and staying stuck. For example, have you ever gone through something and thought:

Hmmm, I think I’ve been on this same path before.

I’m reminded of those old Westerns where the posse rides past the same rock at least 3 times. Remember those?

Here’s the truth, unless we can move past those limiting beliefs, we’re going to ride that same tired horse around the same old rock. I’m pretty sure he’s sick of it, just like you are. Can you hear his internal conversation?

Could we try something different, Mr. Lone Ranger?

Many people are passionate, but because of their limiting beliefs about who they are and what they can do, they never take actions that could make their dream a reality. ~ Tony Robbins

5 Limiting Beliefs Keeping You on the Same Old Trail

• I’m not ______X enough to do this.

• I don’t have time/money/skill to write my story.

• I’ll do this someday.

• My story isn’t worth sharing.

• I can’t finish this project.

There are many more limiting beliefs hiding behind that big rock, waiting to pop up and whisper lies to you from a smoking 6 gun. They only have the power you give them.

Here’s the truth. You have all you need to make sharing your story a reality. You can try something different and move past your limiting beliefs about your story, its value, and your ability to tell it in an interesting way.

Writing or recording your story for a few minutes on a regular basis adds up. Just like every step taken gets you further down the trail and closer to your goal. Give your horse and yourself some new scenery. You’ll build momentum and appreciate the variety.

Words are free, and I bet you have paper and pencil or a computer or phone. That’s all you need to get them committed in a permanent form you can work with. Start now, with what you have. It’s enough to begin moving.

“Somedays” have a way of evaporating like a mirage on a desert highway. How many times have you used this excuse? And how has that worked? Remember that old saying,

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

Begin talking to yourself differently. You have the stories, memories, and experiences stored in your heart and soul. They have shaped you into who you are today, a person of great value. What you’ve learned is worth sharing with others.

In fact, you’re probably already sharing your stories with others as you meet with friends and family.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know where to begin or have started and haven’t finished. Tickle that horse’s side with your boot, give him an air kiss smooch, “C’mon boy, let’s go,” and take a different trail. This time, you’ve got a map, a guide, and someone to ride the trail with you.

Giddyup, let’s go!

You are capable of writing your story–and finishing it! You can do this and it will be ok. So, get out of your own way, ask for help if you need it, and begin. Your story has the power to inspire others.

Tools for your memoir writing saddlebag:

Tell Your Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir (in eBook and print)

Lifeline Journal

My Family My Heart Journal with Prompts

Memoir Writing Prompt Cards

Personal History Writing Bundle

Journaling Tips Resource

(Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons: Clayton Moore as the Lone Ranger and Silver.
7 March 1956)

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Holiday Fun With Day-in-the-Life Interviews

November 27, 2024November 27, 2024

by Karen Ray

Have you ever thought about how a simple conversation can turn into a treasure trove of family history and cherished memories?

In a world where we’re increasingly connected digitally, it’s more important than ever to find meaningful ways to engage with our loved ones, especially during the holiday season. Imagine turning those stories into a customized, treasured book to share with family and friends. Let’s explore how a Day-in-the-Life interview can be a delightful activity for everyone involved, whether you’re gathered at home or connecting virtually.

Storytelling Power:

Storytelling isn’t just about sharing tales. It strengthens family bonds and ensures that the wisdom and insight of older generations are passed down. Think about it: when was the last time you sat down with a family member to really listen to their stories? These narratives offer younger generations a unique glimpse into the past, providing them with a sense of belonging and an understanding of their family’s journey through life.

Getting Started–Your Interview Toolkit:

Embarking on this storytelling adventure is simpler than you might think. Here’s what you’ll need:

A video or voice recorder: Your smartphone is perfect for this.
A willing relative or friend: Someone eager to share their stories.
Photos or items as memory prompts: These are optional but can help jog memories.
Paper and pencil: For jotting down notes or memorable quotes.
One hour: To ensure a relaxed and unhurried conversation.

Conducting the Interview:

Choose a special time in your interviewee’s life, or let them choose, and let the conversation flow from there. Here are some starter questions to get the ball rolling, especially if you’re focusing on childhood memories:

– How did your family celebrate holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Hanukah?

– Can you describe a particularly memorable holiday celebration? Maybe it was the year something went hilariously wrong!

– What was your favorite holiday food? Did you help make it? Tell the story behind the recipe and include a photo of the person who made it.

Remember, the goal is to capture detailed, vivid memories. If your interviewee is hesitant or gives short answers, ask for sensory details like colors, tastes, and smells to help them open up.

Why This Matters:

In an age where digital communication often replaces face-to-face interactions, taking the time to conduct a Day-in-the-Life interview is a powerful way to connect on a deeper level. You’re not only recording history; you’re learning to understand a loved one’s experiences and seeing the world through their eyes.

Plus, it’s a fantastic opportunity to create something tangible—a book of memories—that can be cherished and shared for generations.

So, why not start this holiday season? Whether you’re looking to bond with your family, preserve precious memories, or simply engage in a fun and meaningful activity, a Day-in-the-Life interview is a beautiful way to achieve it. You’ll be amazed at the stories that unfold and the connections that deepen as a result. And who knows? This could be the beginning of a new family tradition, one interview at a time.

Try this storygathering technique to deepen family bonds and preserve cherished memories and let me know how it went. It’s a fun holiday activity for all ages.

Connect with me on social media @rememberingthetime or reach out with your family history or memoir questions to kray@rememberingthetime.net. I’d love to hear from you!

(Photo courtesy Ekaterina Shakarova via Unsplash)

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5 Powerful Lessons Learned About the Memoir Writing Journey

November 12, 2024

by Karen Ray

Ever embarked on a journey through your past, pen in hand, ready to etch your life’s story onto the pages of a memoir? It’s an adventure that unveils lessons as timeless as the memories we cherish.

Writing a memoir is so much more than the dry act of recording events from the past; it’s a deeply reflective and transformative journey. Remember how much more fun it was in school to learn history through stories and actual accounts, instead of a sterile list of dates and one-line summaries? Here are a few invaluable lessons I’ve gathered from helping others write their memoirs, hoping they inspire you to start yours:

1. The Power of Reflection

One of the first lessons I learned was the incredible power of reflection. During oral history interviews or while reviewing clients’ manuscripts is like doing a deep dive into their past.

As we revisit their experiences through the lens of their current perspective, we begin to understand their life’s trajectory in new ways.

This process of reflection helps us see the growth that occurred from challenges and the joy found in life’s simple moments.

2. Memory’s Fluidity

I’ve also been struck by the fluidity of memory. Our memories are not static; they evolve with time. Again, courtesy of that lens of current perspective. As we work together on a personal narrative, writers begin to see their past as not just a series of fixed points but a continuum that shapes and is shaped by their present.

Our ideas about past events can also be influenced by our current understanding and emotional state.

For example, I’ve watched writers experience an epiphany when viewing a parent’s life from the bird’s eye vantage point. Oh, so that’s why…This often leads to greater compassion and understanding.

3. The Art of Storytelling

Writing a memoir underscores the importance of storytelling. We work to weave experiences into a narrative that resonates deeply with both the writer and readers. Memoir writers look for the thread that connects disparate events and helps both themselves and others understand their life as a coherent story. This process highlights the significance of perspective and the choices we make in telling our stories.

If we can do this in a way that tugs at the heart, makes readers think, laugh, cry, and perhaps think Me too we’re honoring our story.

4. Healing Through Writing

The act of writing can be unexpectedly healing. It provides a space to process experiences, some of which were painful or difficult to understand at the time they occurred.

Sometimes, writers make an intentional choice to reframe a difficult experience.

Writing these memories, wherever they land on the emotion wheel, allows us to approach them with compassion and insight, facilitating a sense of closure and peace.

5. Legacy and Connection

Finally, I learned about the importance of legacy and connection. Memoir writing is not just for us; it’s a way to share our journey with others. It creates a bridge between generations, offering insights and understanding. This realization underscored the importance of preserving personal histories, not just as records of individual lives but as part of the collective human experience.

Humans throughout history have passed along their hard-won wisdom and knowledge through relating their experiences. I’m profoundly grateful for this and want to continue this life-giving tradition.

The journey of writing our memoirs is one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives.

It teaches us about the complexity of memory, the healing power of writing, and the importance of sharing our stories.

These lessons have not only enriched my understanding of my own life but have also deepened my appreciation for the stories of others. Through this process, I’ve realized that memoir writing is not just a personal endeavor but a valuable contribution to the colorful tapestry of human history.

Isn’t it time you experienced the magic of personal storytelling? Get started today with a handy no-fluff guide that will help you begin your memoir writing journey. Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir is available on Amazon in either print or eBook.

(Photo courtesy Nationaal Archief on Unsplash)

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Transform Lives by Sharing Your Story – Start Your Memoir Today

October 21, 2024

by Karen Ray

Have you ever considered the profound impact of sharing your story? It’s more than just a recount of events; it’s an exploration of the moments that have shaped you. The act of documenting and sharing your personal history doesn’t just reap benefits for you—it’s a gift that keeps on giving, touching the lives of everyone it reaches.

The Gift of Being Heard

In my journey helping individuals bring their stories to life, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of being heard. It’s a fundamental human desire, and fulfilling it can change lives. Imagine holding a book, or even a story of a few pages, that encapsulates your life, your memories, and your legacy. This tangible expression of your journey is not only a treasure for you but also a beacon for others, offering insight, inspiration, and connection.

Stories That Stick

Think back to the stories that have lingered in your heart. Perhaps it was a life-altering event or a person who reshaped your world. Maybe it was one of those beautifully ordinary days that glow in our souls for a lifetime. These narratives are not just memories; they’re milestones that have the power to influence and inspire. By sharing these experiences, you not only preserve your history but also impart wisdom and lessons that resonate with others.

Kickstart Your Memoir with a Simple Exercise

Feeling overwhelmed about where to start? Here’s a short and sweet exercise to ignite your memoir journey:

*Reflect for 5 Minutes: Choose a pivotal person or event in your life. Don’t overthink their/its significance.

*Write Your Heart Out: Spend 5 minutes jotting down everything you can remember. Let it flow without judgment. No editing.

*Detailing the Story: Return to your notes after a day or two, and spend 10 minutes adding details and depth.

*The Final Touch: After letting your story simmer in your mind, revisit it to add any final thoughts or recollections.

A Special Offer: Celebrate Your Story

In celebration of my birthday month, I’m offering you a unique opportunity. Send in your mini-memoir from this exercise, and I’ll select two stories to professionally edit and polish, free of charge. Whether it’s for you or a loved one, this is your chance to craft a beautiful snapshot of life that brings joy and connection. These snapshot mini-memoirs make unique and beautiful Christmas gifts.

Embrace the Power of Storytelling

Sharing your story is more than a walk down memory lane; it’s an act of courage and a step toward understanding. It’s about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary and recognizing the milestones that have shaped us. So, why not take the first step today? Your story is waiting to be told, and the world is waiting to hear it.

For more storytelling ideas, take a look at the following options:

*Connect with me on social media @rememberingthetime (FaceBook, Instagram, Pinterest)

*Pick up a copy of my handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir on Amazon.

*Check out the Etsy shop for memoir and family history prompts, journals, games, and tools at https://rememberingthetime.etsy.com

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Unlocking Your Story: 5 Steps to Transform Memories into Memoirs

October 7, 2024October 7, 2024

by Karen Ray

The Quest for Memories

Have you ever felt like an archaeologist in your own home, discovering treasures hidden in the nooks and crannies of your past? I recently embarked on such an adventure while cleaning out my mom’s garage. In the back corner, underneath a workbench, I uncovered a shoebox full of forgotten trinkets. This wasn’t just a box of random items; it was a chest of stories waiting to be told. It got me thinking: how many of us have similar collections gathering dust, their stories untold? This is where your journey to document personal history begins.

Gather Your Treasures: The First Key

The initial step is as simple as gathering your collection. Dive into the how, why, where, and when of your treasure’s existence. Artifacts, whether they’re photos, recipes, or mementos, are the foundation of your story. Delve into the details, and let them guide you through your narrative.

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

Memory Box: The Second Key

The Collective Memory: The Third Key

This journey isn’t solitary. Involve family and friends, asking them to contribute their memories and perhaps even their own mementos. This collaborative effort enriches your story, adding interesting and invaluable layers and perspectives.

Reflect and Record: The Fourth Key

Now, take a moment to sit with your collection. Whether you’re writing your own story or someone else’s, this reflection period is crucial. Handle each item, record your thoughts, or have a conversation about them. This step solidifies your narrative, embedding the essence of each memory into your story.

Unveiling the Theme: The Fifth Key

As your collection grows, a theme will begin to emerge. It could be family, love, adventure, or simply the beauty of everyday life. If the theme isn’t immediately apparent, don’t worry. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to bring it into focus.

Try this fun step: share your collection with someone close to you and see what stands out to them.

Crafting Your Story

Remember, the goal isn’t to document every single detail but to capture the essence of your memories. Highlight emotions and settings in your descriptions of treasures. For example, on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, a treasure box becomes much more than just a wooden crate full of pearls. Some of the most compelling stories are snapshots, focusing on a singular moment or item. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of telling your story, let these five keys be your guide. You’ll find that once you start, the narrative begins to weave itself.

And remember, as Terry Pratchett once said,

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

So, tell it with love, tell it with nostalgia, but most importantly—just tell it. Need help getting started? Pick up a print or e-book version of this handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tps and Techniques to Write Your Memoir or contact me through the contact form on this website and let’s talk story. I’d love to hear yours!

(Photo courtesy Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash)

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School Days Revisited: A Journey Through Generations

September 23, 2024

by Karen Ray

The Imaginative Power of School Memories

*Story hour at Collins Playground, circa 1912.*

Do you remember the thrill of rolling inside tractor tires during recess or the sting of getting hit in the nose with a basketball? School days are filled with moments—joyful, painful, and everything in between—that shape us for the rest of our lives. These varied experiences offer a unique opportunity to connect with family members across generations. Let’s explore a few of these memories together and discover what they reveal about both our shared and individual history.

Starting the Conversation

Initiating a “Remember when…” chat about school memories can be a delightful way to learn more about your family and yourself. Whether it’s during a drive to school or a quiet evening at home, asking each other about memories from these formative years can uncover stories that bridge generations. It’s a great way to build a rich family legacy.

Here’s how you can start:

Early Memories and Friendships

Ask about the first day of school, friendships, favorite playtime activities, and even challenges like dealing with bullies. You might be surprised at the stories that come to light.

Influential Teachers

We all have had teachers who have left a mark on our lives, for better or worse. Share stories about the educators who inspired you, pushed you, or maybe didn’t understand you at all.

Classroom Antics and Academic Pursuits

Discuss subjects that were loved or loathed, the projects that ignited passion, and assignments that were dreaded. These conversations can reveal much about our personalities and interests. You might discover an interesting fact about one of your relatives.

Extracurricular Activities

Whether it was sports, music, drama, or a club, these experiences significantly shaped our school days. Reflect on these moments, the triumphs, the failures, and the lessons learned.

Reflecting Across Generations

You can use these prompts to start fun and informative discussions between generations. I’ve loved hearing what children have learned about their grandparents, or an elderly aunt or uncle after these conversations. Don’t have living family? Visit with a neighbor or friend and explore their school memories together. It’s sure to connect you and build your friendship.

After sharing your stories, take a moment to reflect on the similarities and differences across generations. This reflection can encourage a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other’s journeys. It’s fascinating to see how experiences change over time and what remains constant.

Engaging the Younger Generation

Encourage your children or young relatives to share their current experiences and dreams for the future. This not only adds to the family legacy but also helps them feel connected to the family’s past and supported in their own educational journey. It gives them a vital sense of place, belonging, and hope.

Crafting Your Family Memoir

As you collect these stories, consider compiling them into a family memoir. They could become part of a fascinating chapter about education in your family. School days here we come! Celebrate the unique journey of your family through the universal experiences of school.

Remember that while we all walk our individual paths, our shared experiences
and stories keep us connected.

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Bite-Sized Memoirs: Crafting Your Legacy One Moment at a Time

September 9, 2024

by Karen Ray

Embracing Small Stories

Have you ever considered the impact of sharing your life’s moments in small, digestible pieces? Often, we think our stories need to be grand, sweeping epics to be worth telling. That old phrase “Go big or go home!” has no bearing here. It’s in the everyday, ordinariness where the real magic lies. This summer, I experienced firsthand the joy and connection that comes from sharing these life snippets.

A Celebration of Words and Wilderness

I had the honor of reading my poetry at a Gila Centennial Celebration in Kingston, NM. This experience, coupled with the thrill that same week of seeing my essay and photographs grace the cover of Woods Reader’s Spring 2024 edition, reinforced a valuable lesson: stories, regardless of their length, hold immense power. My short work centered around the majestic Gila wilderness and found a home among others who cherish the natural world as deeply as I do.

The Joy of Bite-Sized Sharing

We don’t need to limit ourselves to traditional long-form narratives. The beauty of storytelling lies in its versatility. Consider the richness that can be found in:

Recounting that unforgettable family dinner
Reflecting on the moment you met your best friend
Capturing your pet’s endearing quirks
Reliving a thrilling adventure
The simple pleasure of a picnic with friends or family

These brief moments are the threads that weave the tapestry of our lives. They’re deeply satisfying to recount, share, and remember.

Start Small, Dream Big

Why wait to share your story? Begin with those small, yet profoundly meaningful experiences. You’ll find that these bite-sized pieces not only bring joy to you and your listeners but can also lay the foundation for a larger narrative—a full-length memoir or a comprehensive family history.

Every Story Matters

In a world that often rushes us to move from one moment to the next, take the time to celebrate your stories and savor one bite at a time. Share the stories that make you who you are. Remember, it’s not the length of the story that counts but the impact it leaves on the heart.

What small story will you create today?

(Photo courtesy Sebastian Coman Photography via Unsplash)

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