Tag: memoir writing

Giddyup – Ride Your Story Horse Down a Different Trail

April 15, 2025

 by Karen Ray

We hear a lot these days about limiting beliefs and how they can control our future success. Author Jack Canfield says:

All too often we’re filled with negative and limiting beliefs. We’re filled with doubt. We’re filled with guilt or with a sense of unworthiness. We have a lot of assumptions about the way the world is that are actually wrong.

We can fall into the trap of repeating these beliefs and staying stuck. For example, have you ever gone through something and thought:

Hmmm, I think I’ve been on this same path before.

I’m reminded of those old Westerns where the posse rides past the same rock at least 3 times. ​Remember those?

Here’s the truth, unless we can move past those limiting beliefs, we’re going to ride that same tired horse around the same old rock. I’m pretty sure he’s sick of it, just like you are. Can you hear his internal conversation?

Could we try something different, Mr. Lone Ranger?

Many people are passionate, but because of their limiting beliefs about who they are and what they can do, they never take actions that could make their dream a reality. ~ Tony Robbins

5 Limiting Beliefs Keeping You on the Same Old Trail

•             I’m not ______X enough to do this.

•             I don’t have time/money/skill to write my story.

•             I’ll do this someday.

•             My story isn’t worth sharing.

•             I can’t finish this project.

There are many more limiting beliefs hiding behind that big rock, waiting to pop up and whisper lies to you from a smoking 6 gun. They only have the power you give them.

Here’s the truth. You have all you need to make sharing your story a reality. You can try something different and move past your limiting beliefs about your story, its value, and your ability to tell it in an interesting way.

Writing or recording your story for a few minutes on a regular basis adds up. Just like every step taken gets you further down the trail and closer to your goal. Give your horse and yourself some new scenery. You’ll build momentum and appreciate the variety.

Words are free, and I bet you have paper and pencil or a computer or phone. That’s all you need to get them committed in a permanent form you can work with. Start now, with what you have. It’s enough to begin moving.

“Somedays” have a way of evaporating like a mirage on a desert highway. How many times have you used this excuse? And how has that worked? Remember that old saying,

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

Begin talking to yourself differently. You have the stories, memories, and experiences stored in your heart and soul. They have shaped you into who you are today, a person of great value. What you’ve learned is worth sharing with others.

In fact, you’re probably already sharing your stories with others as you meet with friends and family.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know where to begin or have started and haven’t finished.  Tickle that horse’s side with your boot, give him an air kiss smooch, “C’mon boy, let’s go,” and take a different trail. This time, you’ve got a map, a guide, and someone to ride the trail with you.

Giddyup, let’s go!

You are capable of writing your story–and finishing it! You can do this and it will be ok. So, get out of your own way, ask for help if you need it, and begin. Your story has the power to inspire others.

Tools for your memoir writing saddlebag:

Tell Your Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir (in eBook and print)

Lifeline Journal

My Family My Heart Journal with Prompts

Memoir Writing Prompt Cards

Personal History Writing Bundle

Journaling Tips Resource

(Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons: Clayton Moore as the Lone Ranger and Silver.
7 March 1956)

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5 Powerful Lessons Learned About the Memoir Writing Journey

November 12, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Ever embarked on a journey through your past, pen in hand, ready to etch your life’s story onto the pages of a memoir? It’s an adventure that unveils lessons as timeless as the memories we cherish.

Writing a memoir is so much more than the dry act of recording events from the past; it’s a deeply reflective and transformative journey. Remember how much more fun it was in school to learn history through stories and actual accounts, instead of a sterile list of dates and one-line summaries? Here are a few invaluable lessons I’ve gathered from helping others write their memoirs, hoping they inspire you to start yours:

1. The Power of Reflection

One of the first lessons I learned was the incredible power of reflection. During oral history interviews or while reviewing clients’ manuscripts is like doing a deep dive into their past.

As we revisit their experiences through the lens of their current perspective, we begin to understand their life’s trajectory in new ways.

This process of reflection helps us see the growth that occurred from challenges and the joy found in life’s simple moments.

2. Memory’s Fluidity

I’ve also been struck by the fluidity of memory. Our memories are not static; they evolve with time. Again, courtesy of that lens of current perspective. As we work together on a personal narrative, writers begin to see their past as not just a series of fixed points but a continuum that shapes and is shaped by their present.

Our ideas about past events can also be influenced by our current understanding and emotional state.

For example, I’ve watched writers experience an epiphany when viewing a parent’s life from the bird’s eye vantage point. Oh, so that’s why…This often leads to greater compassion and understanding.

3. The Art of Storytelling

Writing a memoir underscores the importance of storytelling. We work to weave experiences into a narrative that resonates deeply with both the writer and readers. Memoir writers look for the thread that connects disparate events and helps both themselves and others understand their life as a coherent story. This process highlights the significance of perspective and the choices we make in telling our stories.

If we can do this in a way that tugs at the heart, makes readers think, laugh, cry, and perhaps think Me too we’re honoring our story.

4. Healing Through Writing

The act of writing can be unexpectedly healing. It provides a space to process experiences, some of which were painful or difficult to understand at the time they occurred.

Sometimes, writers make an intentional choice to reframe a difficult experience.

Writing these memories, wherever they land on the emotion wheel, allows us to approach them with compassion and insight, facilitating a sense of closure and peace.

5. Legacy and Connection

Finally, I learned about the importance of legacy and connection. Memoir writing is not just for us; it’s a way to share our journey with others. It creates a bridge between generations, offering insights and understanding. This realization underscored the importance of preserving personal histories, not just as records of individual lives but as part of the collective human experience.

Humans throughout history have passed along their hard-won wisdom and knowledge through relating their experiences. I’m profoundly grateful for this and want to continue this life-giving tradition.

The journey of writing our memoirs is one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives.

It teaches us about the complexity of memory, the healing power of writing, and the importance of sharing our stories.

These lessons have not only enriched my understanding of my own life but have also deepened my appreciation for the stories of others. Through this process, I’ve realized that memoir writing is not just a personal endeavor but a valuable contribution to the colorful tapestry of human history.

Isn’t it time you experienced the magic of personal storytelling? Get started today with a handy no-fluff guide that will help you begin your memoir writing journey. Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir is available on Amazon in either print or eBook.

(Photo courtesy Nationaal Archief on Unsplash)

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Transform Lives by Sharing Your Story – Start Your Memoir Today

October 21, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Have you ever considered the profound impact of sharing your story? It’s more than just a recount of events; it’s an exploration of the moments that have shaped you. The act of documenting and sharing your personal history doesn’t just reap benefits for you—it’s a gift that keeps on giving, touching the lives of everyone it reaches.

The Gift of Being Heard

In my journey helping individuals bring their stories to life, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of being heard. It’s a fundamental human desire, and fulfilling it can change lives. Imagine holding a book, or even a story of a few pages, that encapsulates your life, your memories, and your legacy. This tangible expression of your journey is not only a treasure for you but also a beacon for others, offering insight, inspiration, and connection.

Stories That Stick

Think back to the stories that have lingered in your heart. Perhaps it was a life-altering event or a person who reshaped your world. Maybe it was one of those beautifully ordinary days that glow in our souls for a lifetime. These narratives are not just memories; they’re milestones that have the power to influence and inspire. By sharing these experiences, you not only preserve your history but also impart wisdom and lessons that resonate with others.

Kickstart Your Memoir with a Simple Exercise

Feeling overwhelmed about where to start? Here’s a short and sweet exercise to ignite your memoir journey:

*Reflect for 5 Minutes: Choose a pivotal person or event in your life. Don’t overthink their/its significance.

*Write Your Heart Out: Spend 5 minutes jotting down everything you can remember. Let it flow without judgment. No editing.

*Detailing the Story: Return to your notes after a day or two, and spend 10 minutes adding details and depth.

*The Final Touch: After letting your story simmer in your mind, revisit it to add any final thoughts or recollections.

A Special Offer: Celebrate Your Story

In celebration of my birthday month, I’m offering you a unique opportunity. Send in your mini-memoir from this exercise, and I’ll select two stories to professionally edit and polish, free of charge. Whether it’s for you or a loved one, this is your chance to craft a beautiful snapshot of life that brings joy and connection. These snapshot mini-memoirs make unique and beautiful Christmas gifts.

Embrace the Power of Storytelling

Sharing your story is more than a walk down memory lane; it’s an act of courage and a step toward understanding. It’s about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary and recognizing the milestones that have shaped us. So, why not take the first step today? Your story is waiting to be told, and the world is waiting to hear it.

For more storytelling ideas, take a look at the following options:

*Connect with me on social media @rememberingthetime (FaceBook, Instagram, Pinterest)

*Pick up a copy of my handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir on Amazon.

*Check out the Etsy shop for memoir and family history prompts, journals, games, and tools at https://rememberingthetime.etsy.com

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Unlocking Your Story: 5 Steps to Transform Memories into Memoirs

October 7, 2024

 by Karen Ray

The Quest for Memories

Have you ever felt like an archaeologist in your own home, discovering treasures hidden in the nooks and crannies of your past? I recently embarked on such an adventure while cleaning out my mom’s garage. In the back corner, underneath a workbench, I uncovered a shoebox full of forgotten trinkets. This wasn’t just a box of random items; it was a chest of stories waiting to be told. It got me thinking: how many of us have similar collections gathering dust, their stories untold? This is where your journey to document personal history begins.

Gather Your Treasures: The First Key

The initial step is as simple as gathering your collection. Dive into the how, why, where, and when of your treasure’s existence. Artifacts, whether they’re photos, recipes, or mementos, are the foundation of your story. Delve into the details, and let them guide you through your narrative.

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

Memory Box: The Second Key

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

The Collective Memory: The Third Key

This journey isn’t solitary. Involve family and friends, asking them to contribute their memories and perhaps even their own mementos. This collaborative effort enriches your story, adding interesting and invaluable layers and perspectives.

Reflect and Record: The Fourth Key

Now, take a moment to sit with your collection. Whether you’re writing your own story or someone else’s, this reflection period is crucial. Handle each item, record your thoughts, or have a conversation about them. This step solidifies your narrative, embedding the essence of each memory into your story.

Unveiling the Theme: The Fifth Key

As your collection grows, a theme will begin to emerge. It could be family, love, adventure, or simply the beauty of everyday life. If the theme isn’t immediately apparent, don’t worry. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to bring it into focus.

Try this fun step: share your collection with someone close to you and see what stands out to them.

Crafting Your Story

Remember, the goal isn’t to document every single detail but to capture the essence of your memories. Highlight emotions and settings in your descriptions of treasures. For example, on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, a treasure box becomes much more than just a wooden crate full of pearls. Some of the most compelling stories are snapshots, focusing on a singular moment or item. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of telling your story, let these five keys be your guide. You’ll find that once you start, the narrative begins to weave itself.

And remember, as Terry Pratchett once said,

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

So, tell it with love, tell it with nostalgia, but most importantly—just tell it. Need help getting started? Pick up a print or e-book version of this handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tps and Techniques to Write Your Memoir or contact me through the contact form on this website and let’s talk story. I’d love to hear yours!

(Photo courtesy Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash)

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From Cloud Gazing to Puddle Stomping: Capturing Your Summer Story

August 19, 2024

 by Karen Ray
girl jumping in puddle

The Power of Memory

Did you know that, according to some studies, our attention span is shorter than that of a goldfish? This surprising tidbit reminds us how fleeting our moments and memories can be. Yet, it’s in the rich field of our memories that we cultivate stories. Especially those warmed by the summer sun. This post is dedicated to everyone who cherishes those long, sunlit days, old and new, and the stories they hold.

The Essence of Summer Memories

Remember the joy of lying in a field, the sky a canvas of clouds above you? Or the thrill of catching tadpoles in a nearby stream? Summer is a season of vivid, sensory-rich memories: the scent of horse sweat mixed with sweet carrots, the sound of laughter under the sprinklers, and the taste of homemade peach ice cream. These moments, from the monumental to the mundane, shape us and our stories.

Why Share Your Story?

Many hold back, worried their stories might not captivate others. But think about this: every shared memory is a thread that connects us, revealing the shared human experience. Your stories, whether they’re of bareback horse riding or road trips to unexplored places, are not just about you. They shape the world around us, influencing and inspiring those who hear them.

How to Begin Documenting Your Summer Stories

1. Set the Scene with Memory Prompts: Start with a simple exercise. Set a timer for five minutes and jot down every summer memory that comes to mind. You might narrow it down to a certain decade of your life, or an even shorter time frame. You can also turn on the firehose and let them all pour out. Don’t fret over the details; focus on capturing the essence.

2. Dive Deeper: Next to each memory, add sensory details. Who was there? What did you feel, smell, or hear? These notes will serve as the foundation for richer, more detailed stories. You can come back to these later.

3. Share and Inspire: Encourage friends and family to undertake this journey with you. Sharing these memory prompts can spark a collective storytelling session, weaving communal stories of summer adventures.

The Joy of Collective Storytelling

Imagine the fun of exchanging stories with loved ones, each memory a piece of a larger narrative. This process brings us closer and serves as a powerful reminder of our shared humanity. You’ll probably discover that you share similar experiences with many. Enjoy the different perspectives and details.

Final Thoughts: The Invitation to Share

Your life’s stories are too precious to keep to yourself. By sharing them, you gift others a piece of history, a slice of joy, and a spark of inspiration. So, I encourage you—share your summer memories, write them down, and let them breathe life into the pages of your story.

PS – A Project to Connect

Consider a long-distance project with your circle. Choose a memory and have everyone write a short piece about it. Collect these stories to share and cherish. This small step could be the beginning of a beautiful tradition of sharing and documenting your collective histories.

Interested in going further? I created a handle guide to help you, Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir. If you haven’t read it yet, let me assure you…it is short by design. No fluff, I want you to get through it fast so you can start sharing your story. You can pick it up on Amazon in either print or e-book, whatever suits your style. But more importantly…

I want you to become inspired. To realize that the life experiences and memories you’ve accumulated are priceless and worth sharing.

(Photo courtesy of Nathan Dumlao via Unsplash)

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From Memories to Memoirs: Unlocking Your Story with a Lifeline

May 23, 2024

 by Karen Ray

The Power of Being Yourself

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. This timeless piece of wisdom from author Oscar Wilde is a beacon for anyone embarking on the journey of self-reflection and storytelling. It’s a call to embrace your unique story and share it with the world.

Imagine transforming your life’s moments, both big and small, into a captivating essay or book that resonates with friends, family, and future generations. This is where the concept of a Lifeline comes into play. It’s a simple, yet profound tool to help you organize and reflect on the events that have shaped you.

The Lifeline Project: Your First Step

Creating a Lifeline is akin to sketching the outline of a grand painting, where each stroke represents a pivotal moment in your life. You don’t need elaborate tools to begin—just grab some posterboard, copy paper, or even a whiteboard, and you’re set. Consider using sticky notes and a blank wall for a dynamic and flexible approach. This exercise isn’t just for aspiring authors; it’s for anyone eager to delve into their personal or family history with a fresh perspective.

**Getting Started**

Reserve about an hour and start by brainstorming a list of 10 life events. This initial step will open the floodgates to your memory, allowing more moments to surface naturally. You’ll be amazed at how much you can remember during this exercise!

Turning Points and Special Events

Every life is a tapestry of moments that, together, form a unique narrative. Highlighting the turning points and special events in your Lifeline not only outlines your story but also helps you understand the impact of these moments. Consider:

  • – Physical locations that hold significance
  • – Historical events that intersect with your personal journey

Add bullet points or brief notes about stories that come to mind during this process. Include every sensory detail you can remember. These initial snippets can later blossom into full chapters or essays. Or maybe even a poem if you’re so inclined.

Unleashing Creativity and Capturing Memories

Placing your Lifeline where you can see it daily encourages ongoing reflection and creativity. Let your mind wander through your past before bedtime, and keep a journal nearby to jot down any memories or ideas that emerge. In fact, keep something to take notes with on you at all times during this process. Memories pop up at the strangest times and you don’t want to forget. This practice can unearth forgotten treasures and inspire new insights, potentially becoming key components of your story.

The Act of Starting

Louis L’Amour once said,

Start writing – no matter what – the water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.

Your Lifeline is that faucet.

Whether you prefer jotting down notes, using a voice recording app, or sharing memories with a friend, the key is to begin. This simple act of starting can unleash a flow of creativity and memories, paving the way for your storytelling journey. Give yourself a chance!

Sharing Your Story

Now that you’ve embarked on this journey of self-discovery and storytelling, consider sharing a piece of your Lifeline with others. Whether it’s through a personal essay, a blog post, or a conversation with a loved one, your story deserves to be heard. Remember, it’s not just about preserving memories; it’s about celebrating the unique path you’ve traveled and the wisdom gained along the way.

I’d love to hear about an event from your Lifeline or your goals for storytelling this year. Feel free to hit reply or share with a friend for that extra bit of motivation. Let’s turn those taps on and let our stories flow!

Happy Storytelling!

Karen

PS: Want a couple resources to help you create a Lifeline? Check out my handy memoir writing guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir. Or visit the Etsy shop for an elegant Lifeline Journal Bundle ready for you to download and print out so you can begin your journey.

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Country Roads

May 1, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Writer Mary Rue shares a trip down a country road in her guest post. I love this line:

…the past lives and is always part of our present.

Enjoy the journey and may you be inspired to share your own! You’ll find her bio at the end of the story. Thanks for sharing, Mary!

I just returned from a trip into my past or more accurately my Mother’s past.  A visit with cousins in Louisiana led to a trip down some back roads in Washington Parish which led to a remote Baptist church and a small cemetery and a surprise.

Mother says I’ve been to the cemetery before, but I have no recollection of that.  My great grandparents and some of their siblings and children are buried there, and I amazed my family by locating the cemetery on the internet via my iPhone and accessing a website that actually listed all of the people buried there. 

There are thousands of such cemeteries accessible to varying degrees via country roads in every county and state in North America. This particular cemetery, Sunny Hill, is maintained by the descendents of another family whose name appears on many of the headstones. The sad truth is that too many small family cemeteries are not maintained and thus likely to be overgrown and lost forever.

Does it matter if they are lost or found? 

Maybe not.  I suppose I’m interested in such things because of my love of history and dabbling in genealogy, but there was something compelling about standing in the yard between that cemetery and the small white country church that my Mother remembered attending as a child. [She says it used to be a lot bigger church back then!]

As we stood there she started talking again about the Sunny Hill community of her childhood, pointing out where the Methodist church and the general store used to be, where the school she attended was located.  She reminisced about walking to school for one year, first grade, because her Daddy wanted her to go to the school he went to when he was growing up.  Funny thing was that he made Mother’s little sister accompany her on the one mile walk, so my Aunt Pansy sat through first grade that year and then had to go the next year too.  Oh, and by the way, I’m not sure what a five year old could have done to protect a six year old had something bad happened to them on the way to school. But those were different times.

We had piled in the car to begin our trip back to the present, but the past wasn’t through with us yet.  As Mother pointed to a wooded area across the road from the church and told us, “The school was right there,” my cousin said, “I see something.  It looks like a shack.”  Sure enough, we got out of the car and peering into the woods could just make out the building, or what was left of it.  

Just as my cousin was promising to come back and explore the area later, we discovered a path that was more or less clear so we all traipsed into the woods, right up to the dilapidated two-story structure where my grandfather had gone to school and played basketball, and where my Mother had attended first grade.  

There wasn’t much left there to see, but there was a broad staircase, walls, parts of the floor and the roof, and somehow I had no trouble picturing my Mother there.  

For good or ill, the past lives and is always part of our present.  For me, it is all good.  I think John Denver said/sang it best: “Country roads take me home . . . “

(Original post 10/15/2011)

I am a Christian wife, Mother and Grandmother who has finally lived long enough to achieve a lifetime goal – retirement. I enjoy card-making and scrapbooking, reading and photography. I’ve also realized that even at my age God still has plans for my life and more than anything I want to serve Him. – Mary Rue

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    Karen Ray

    Address: 331 Bristol Avenue, Las Cruces, NM, 88001

    Phone: 575-323-1048

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