Your family’s history is important. This video from the Association of Personal Historians explains how it works and why personal historians like me are passionate about what we do. While the APH is no longer active, we historians are and are helping people tell their stories all over the world. I’d love to help you tell yours!
Tag: memoir
5 Keys to Taking Your Memoir Out of the Box
The dusty, faded shoe box was crammed under the workbench. In the midst of de-cluttering fervor my friend said, “Take it home, I didn’t know it was there and I haven’t missed it.” I felt like the Indiana Jones of Garage Archaeology! It was a small memoir encased in cardboard; inside were a number of small items tucked into old jewelry boxes. But they weren’t just objects, each has its own story and some will be sent on to a family member.
This forgotten collection started me thinking about ways you can use the “stuff” you’ve saved as prompts for some personal history work. It’s a great place to begin, especially if you’re stuck on a project that seems too big. Where to start? Problem solved! Whether it’s a box of photos, a collection of tools, buttons, coins, books, recipes, or just “stuff” use that eclectic collection as the basis of your personal history.
Get it out of the box and into your story
The story of these items and why they are/were important can be easily turned into a standalone chapter or even become the start to an entire personal history, you decide.
Key 1
Gather the existing collection—the how, why, where and when of its existence is a great launching point for your story.
Delve into the details.
Key 2
Get a medium sized box—begin placing things in it that prompt your memory, either about yourself or the person whose story you are writing. This is an extremely effective step as it helps you recall things you thought you’d forgotten. As you select items for your box keep a running note going about the memories associated with it.
Key 3
Ask family members and friends to contribute to the memories surrounding the items in your stash. They may even have an object to contribute, like a photograph or old letter. Add to your notes as more memories come to you. If the stash belongs to someone else, interview them. Remember to look at the backgrounds in the photos, the postmark and paper of the letter, the gravy stains on the old recipe—the charm is in the details, take your time.
Key 4
This is important—don’t skip this step.
Sit and mull the contents of your box with your notes and/or a recorder in hand. If you’re telling someone else’s story, interview them. Be specific and handle each item in the box, taking your time. 
If you consider yourself a non-writer, record your thoughts or have a friend write or record while you sift through the objects.
Now, walk away from your box of goodies. Come back to it in a day or few and see what else your mind has recalled since you last spent time together. There will be more, I guarantee it!
Key 5
Look for a theme—are the photos all of family events? Are they important historically? What was going on in the world at this time? Does a collection of letters tell a great love story? Does it chronicle the preciousness of an ordinary life? Is it a travelogue?
If you are having trouble seeing the theme, a rare occurrence, ask a close friend or family member to look through the box with you and tell you what they see. What stands out?
Takeaway—shorter is sweeter
You don’t need to write about everything to tell a great story. Some of the best stories ever told are just a snapshot in time, one event, one object. If you’ve always wanted to tell your story but have felt overwhelmed, start with these 5 keys and begin. You’ll soon have a powerful, condensed collection of life memories.
Then, voila! You are unstuck and have given yourself the gift of making progress.
A reminder from author Terry Pratchett says “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”
Keep it up—
Karen
Oh, the Adventures You’ve Had
We spent a couple months in New Zealand several years ago. One of the last things we did before heading back to the US was something called Blackwater Rafting. Not all of us remember this positively, but that’s their story. For me there were some pretty profound moments. Well, actually you might call it flat out fear—but you decide for yourself:
Monday 4/18/05
9:00 a.m. Blackwater Rafting. Struggle into thick wet-suits, then drive over to the river to get the inner tubes (flotation devices the guide calls them in her charming accent). We will use these during the adventure. In the southern hemisphere it’s fall and the river is quite low with a dark channel on one side and a deep pool with a white sandy bottom. Beautiful. The guides walk us out to the end of a dock where there are two platforms to jump from, one rising 10 feet above the current water line for use during high water and another at about four feet. It starts to feel like the gangplank scene in every pirate movie I’ve ever watched.
We had to jump off the dock backwards, holding the tubes onto our rumps. Shock of icy water, went all the way under like a bobber snagged by a giant fish. My first thought was a gasping, “I paid money for this?!!” However, the wet suit warms up pretty quickly and there was a fair bit of laughter among the spluttering as the rest of the group plunked over the side.
We are headed to a wild cave with this river running through it; it’s rough walking over the rocks to reach the entrance. And it’s chilly enough to see our breath. Our guides were two stunning, athletic young New Zealand women. In the first part of the cave we float almost flat on our backs and push along the ceiling just a few inches above our faces.
Note: Did you know that there is no suing in New Zealand? For example, if a tourist bungee jumps off the bridge and the rope breaks. Well—ta ta! You had fun going down! As a result they have all these amazing adventures available, great fun but you take full responsibility for the risk. I think they might actually have a good idea, but that’s another soapbox.
Any rate, back to the river. Our little tour group of floating rubber sausages came to a spot where we were supposed to jump backward, again, but this time off a waterfall. In the dark cave. “Oh by the way, make sure you jump far out so you miss the rocks.” The guide, who by this time I was silently screaming unkind things about, had morphed into Amazon Warrior Woman in my mind. She stared down at my nice middle aged mom self from her six foot height and kept telling me to get closer to the edge. Backwards. “Are you ready?” “No.” “Are you ready now?” No, not yet.” Her, irritated, “I’m going to push you.” “Okay, okay, I’m going.” Actually I’m not sure I voiced anything out loud but there were sure a lot of panicked words going through my adrenaline rushed brain. And one ridiculous line from the movie “Muppet Christmas Carol” “God save my little broken body!”
Cold-cold-cold. Instant body part evaluation, intact, didn’t hit the rocks. Well, thank you, Jesus! Then we floated through caverns with stalactites of all sizes hanging down and glowworms all over the ceiling like gorgeous star constellations. It was surreal. We stopped and just floated below a “waitomo,” a natural window opening into the cave from the ground 60 meters above our heads.
It was worth it but wow, what an adventure. And I tell you, it all came back when I went to see Wonder Woman at the theater recently. I’m pretty sure Guide Girl had a role as an extra.
Now go capture some adventure memories–here’s your tips:
Grab a recorder, your phone or pencil and paper (yes, they still sell this). Find someone to talk to for 30 minutes.
Ask about their most memorable adventure.
How old were they?
Where did they go?
Who were they with?
What happened?
Was it what they expected?
How do they remember the event?—smiles, laughter, fear, embarrassment, anger? Explore the emotions
Share your stories!
5 Tested Themes for Terrific Life Stories
I hear over and over “Oh, my life is just ordinary.” Let me respectfully say, you suffer from a lack of vision. No life is just “ordinary.” It is a gift. Read on for five themes to help you take your life story from ordinary to extraordinary.
In the movie Dead Poets Society Robin Williams’ character John Keating challenges his students with a profound statement:
Carpe, carpe. Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.
Life Lessons—character, honesty, ethics, how to survive an economic depression, how to survive a mental one. What is the most important thing you’ve learned? Now, think small, what are some “ordinary” life lessons that have shaped you? Need some inspiration? Read Robert Fulghum’s best seller:
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sand pile at Sunday School.
Robert Fulghum
People of Influence—parents, friends (enemies?), teachers, mentors, spiritual leaders. Describe your relationship, how you met, what they taught you. Remember, we learn from both positive and negative influences—both shape you. Think about it from both sides of the coin.
“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world” Robin Williams’ character John Keating in Dead Poets Society—challenged a group of young men to rise above apathy and make a difference.
Who has challenged you to live intentionally?
Childhood Stories—what was yours like?, What made it unique? Typical? Experiences and people that stood out. Think about the novel To Kill a Mockingbird. While fiction, it takes a brief time period in a young girl’s life and expands, becoming something greater n the process that transcends all of life and continues to impact people to this day.
Travel Memoirs—travel grows us and changes our perspective, expands our world. Pull out photos and journals; think back on the places you’ve been and the people you’ve met. What have you learned? Think beyond international travel. Mark Twain was a master at gleaning great stories from travels and observations just within the United States. You can even micro-focus—adventures around your own state or a close-up look at a lifetime’s
experiences within your own city. Ramp up your sense of the curious and really study the people and events that have shaped who you are.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
Marcel Proust
Life Letters—often illuminating. These can be letters you’ve written or those sent to you. Life details and emotions expressed in these letters are a snapshot of a different time, a different you, that although past, have shaped who you are now.
Your life has been full of unique experiences that have changed you, challenged you, given you the skills and tools you need to survive and thrive. Your voice is there—if you haven’t found it yet, begin now.
Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, ‘Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.’ Don’t be resigned to that. Break out! –Keating
Your life matters. Make a difference. Share what you’ve learned—pass it on!