Tag: memoir coach

10 Productivity Hacks for Memoir Writers

July 14, 2025

 by Karen Ray

Writing your memoir can be a rewarding journey of self-discovery, a way to preserve your legacy, and a gift for generations to come. But let’s face it, the process can sometimes feel overwhelming. How do you capture a lifetime of experiences on paper? How do you stay motivated and productive?

Fear not! I’ve been there, coaching and guiding many memoir and family history writers. I’m here to share ten productivity hacks that may help you transform your memoir writing process.

1. Set the Scene for Success: Before you even pen down the first word, create a writing environment that inspires you. Is it a quiet room with a view, surrounded by photos from your past, or perhaps a bustling café and music that stirs your creative juices? Find that sweet spot where your thoughts flow freely.

2. Break It Down: Looking at your life as one giant narrative can be daunting. Break it into chapters or themes: childhood, education, career, love, and adventures. Doesn’t that feel more manageable? Tip: Organizing your materials can provide the creative structural boost you need. Set up a file folder system, both physical and on your computer.

3. The Power of Routine: Establish a writing routine that fits into your life. Whether it’s an hour each morning when the house is still quiet or a dedicated evening session, consistency is key. Make a date with yourself and keep it! What time of day do your words flow best?

4. Embrace the Digital Age: Use technology to your advantage. Voice-to-text software can be a game-changer, especially for those stories that are easier to tell aloud. Tip: Use the recorder app on your phone and “talk story” to yourself to grab those memories that pop up. You can transcribe it later. Digital journals and apps are designed to keep your thoughts organized.

5. Memory Triggers: Ever notice how a particular scent or song can transport you back in time? Use these memory triggers to your advantage. Be intentional about this. Play music from the era you’re writing about, or surround yourself with memorabilia from that time in your life. You can often find this in your memoir box collection (I mention this in my book:

Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Share Your Story

6. Set Micro-Goals: Writing a memoir is a marathon, not a sprint. Set small, achievable goals to keep yourself motivated. Maybe it’s writing a certain number of words each day or completing a chapter each month. Celebrate these milestones! Tip: Plan for the week, list commitments, and note time gaps (as the Brits say, “Mind the Gap!”) where you can fit in a bit of writing, and make appointments with yourself.

7. Join a Writing Group or a “Work Together Alone” Type Group: Sometimes, the journey is more enjoyable with companions. Joining a writing group can provide you with the support, motivation, and feedback you need. Sharing your progress and challenges with peers can be incredibly encouraging. If you prefer to keep your work private, these groups can still provide great benefits in their accountability factor.

Note: I host a Celebrate Storytelling Journaling Circle, which meets online once a week for 50 minutes. We write to personal history-related prompts and enjoy making progress together. Email me here to join: kray@rememberingthetime.net

8. The First Draft is Just That: Don’t get bogged down by perfectionism. Get that first draft of your story out of your heart and head. You’re the only one that knows it! Let those words pour out onto the page or into your voice recorder, no editing. Editing comes later.

9. Seek Inspiration: Whenever you hit a wall, seek inspiration.  Read other memoirs, listen to podcasts about storytelling, or watch documentaries. Sometimes, a break to refill your creative bank is exactly what you need. Tip: Active rest and relaxation can provide a powerful boost to your writing practice. There’s something about movement, like a brisk walk through a beautiful location or enjoying a hobby that gets you up and going, that can help jumpstart your creativity. Sun and fresh air are terrific mental boosters.

10. Take Advantage of Idle Time: Waiting for an appointment? Picking a child up from school? Maybe your pony is in the stable waiting for an oil change? Use time snippets to chunk away at your writing. These microbursts also fuel your creative momentum, as each is a quick win that feels great. 15 minutes here and there add up to a lot of additional words and memories for your story.

Bonus Tip: Remember Your ‘Why’: On those days when motivation wanes, remind yourself why you started this journey. Is it to leave a legacy, heal from your past, or share your adventures? Your purpose can be a powerful motivator to keep you moving forward.

Talk to yourself like the successful writer you want to be. Embarking on the memoir-writing journey is a brave and beautiful endeavor. It’s about more than just documenting events; it’s about sharing the essence of your life’s journey, the lessons learned, and the wisdom gained.

With these productivity hacks, you’re giving yourself the gift of time, not just to write your memoir; you’re embarking on a journey of self-discovery and legacy-building. So, grab your pen (or laptop) and let’s make history–your history.

For more encouragement, inspiration, and practical tips for sharing your memoir or family history:

*Sign up for the Remembering the Time newsletter at https://rememberingthetime.net/

*Follow on social media @rememberingthetime

*Email directly to talk about your hopes and dreams for your unique story kray@rememberingthetime.net

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5 Powerful Lessons Learned About the Memoir Writing Journey

November 12, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Ever embarked on a journey through your past, pen in hand, ready to etch your life’s story onto the pages of a memoir? It’s an adventure that unveils lessons as timeless as the memories we cherish.

Writing a memoir is so much more than the dry act of recording events from the past; it’s a deeply reflective and transformative journey. Remember how much more fun it was in school to learn history through stories and actual accounts, instead of a sterile list of dates and one-line summaries? Here are a few invaluable lessons I’ve gathered from helping others write their memoirs, hoping they inspire you to start yours:

1. The Power of Reflection

One of the first lessons I learned was the incredible power of reflection. During oral history interviews or while reviewing clients’ manuscripts is like doing a deep dive into their past.

As we revisit their experiences through the lens of their current perspective, we begin to understand their life’s trajectory in new ways.

This process of reflection helps us see the growth that occurred from challenges and the joy found in life’s simple moments.

2. Memory’s Fluidity

I’ve also been struck by the fluidity of memory. Our memories are not static; they evolve with time. Again, courtesy of that lens of current perspective. As we work together on a personal narrative, writers begin to see their past as not just a series of fixed points but a continuum that shapes and is shaped by their present.

Our ideas about past events can also be influenced by our current understanding and emotional state.

For example, I’ve watched writers experience an epiphany when viewing a parent’s life from the bird’s eye vantage point. Oh, so that’s why…This often leads to greater compassion and understanding.

3. The Art of Storytelling

Writing a memoir underscores the importance of storytelling. We work to weave experiences into a narrative that resonates deeply with both the writer and readers. Memoir writers look for the thread that connects disparate events and helps both themselves and others understand their life as a coherent story. This process highlights the significance of perspective and the choices we make in telling our stories.

If we can do this in a way that tugs at the heart, makes readers think, laugh, cry, and perhaps think Me too we’re honoring our story.

4. Healing Through Writing

The act of writing can be unexpectedly healing. It provides a space to process experiences, some of which were painful or difficult to understand at the time they occurred.

Sometimes, writers make an intentional choice to reframe a difficult experience.

Writing these memories, wherever they land on the emotion wheel, allows us to approach them with compassion and insight, facilitating a sense of closure and peace.

5. Legacy and Connection

Finally, I learned about the importance of legacy and connection. Memoir writing is not just for us; it’s a way to share our journey with others. It creates a bridge between generations, offering insights and understanding. This realization underscored the importance of preserving personal histories, not just as records of individual lives but as part of the collective human experience.

Humans throughout history have passed along their hard-won wisdom and knowledge through relating their experiences. I’m profoundly grateful for this and want to continue this life-giving tradition.

The journey of writing our memoirs is one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives.

It teaches us about the complexity of memory, the healing power of writing, and the importance of sharing our stories.

These lessons have not only enriched my understanding of my own life but have also deepened my appreciation for the stories of others. Through this process, I’ve realized that memoir writing is not just a personal endeavor but a valuable contribution to the colorful tapestry of human history.

Isn’t it time you experienced the magic of personal storytelling? Get started today with a handy no-fluff guide that will help you begin your memoir writing journey. Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir is available on Amazon in either print or eBook.

(Photo courtesy Nationaal Archief on Unsplash)

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Transform Lives by Sharing Your Story – Start Your Memoir Today

October 21, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Have you ever considered the profound impact of sharing your story? It’s more than just a recount of events; it’s an exploration of the moments that have shaped you. The act of documenting and sharing your personal history doesn’t just reap benefits for you—it’s a gift that keeps on giving, touching the lives of everyone it reaches.

The Gift of Being Heard

In my journey helping individuals bring their stories to life, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of being heard. It’s a fundamental human desire, and fulfilling it can change lives. Imagine holding a book, or even a story of a few pages, that encapsulates your life, your memories, and your legacy. This tangible expression of your journey is not only a treasure for you but also a beacon for others, offering insight, inspiration, and connection.

Stories That Stick

Think back to the stories that have lingered in your heart. Perhaps it was a life-altering event or a person who reshaped your world. Maybe it was one of those beautifully ordinary days that glow in our souls for a lifetime. These narratives are not just memories; they’re milestones that have the power to influence and inspire. By sharing these experiences, you not only preserve your history but also impart wisdom and lessons that resonate with others.

Kickstart Your Memoir with a Simple Exercise

Feeling overwhelmed about where to start? Here’s a short and sweet exercise to ignite your memoir journey:

*Reflect for 5 Minutes: Choose a pivotal person or event in your life. Don’t overthink their/its significance.

*Write Your Heart Out: Spend 5 minutes jotting down everything you can remember. Let it flow without judgment. No editing.

*Detailing the Story: Return to your notes after a day or two, and spend 10 minutes adding details and depth.

*The Final Touch: After letting your story simmer in your mind, revisit it to add any final thoughts or recollections.

A Special Offer: Celebrate Your Story

In celebration of my birthday month, I’m offering you a unique opportunity. Send in your mini-memoir from this exercise, and I’ll select two stories to professionally edit and polish, free of charge. Whether it’s for you or a loved one, this is your chance to craft a beautiful snapshot of life that brings joy and connection. These snapshot mini-memoirs make unique and beautiful Christmas gifts.

Embrace the Power of Storytelling

Sharing your story is more than a walk down memory lane; it’s an act of courage and a step toward understanding. It’s about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary and recognizing the milestones that have shaped us. So, why not take the first step today? Your story is waiting to be told, and the world is waiting to hear it.

For more storytelling ideas, take a look at the following options:

*Connect with me on social media @rememberingthetime (FaceBook, Instagram, Pinterest)

*Pick up a copy of my handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir on Amazon.

*Check out the Etsy shop for memoir and family history prompts, journals, games, and tools at https://rememberingthetime.etsy.com

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Unlocking Your Story: 5 Steps to Transform Memories into Memoirs

October 7, 2024

 by Karen Ray

The Quest for Memories

Have you ever felt like an archaeologist in your own home, discovering treasures hidden in the nooks and crannies of your past? I recently embarked on such an adventure while cleaning out my mom’s garage. In the back corner, underneath a workbench, I uncovered a shoebox full of forgotten trinkets. This wasn’t just a box of random items; it was a chest of stories waiting to be told. It got me thinking: how many of us have similar collections gathering dust, their stories untold? This is where your journey to document personal history begins.

Gather Your Treasures: The First Key

The initial step is as simple as gathering your collection. Dive into the how, why, where, and when of your treasure’s existence. Artifacts, whether they’re photos, recipes, or mementos, are the foundation of your story. Delve into the details, and let them guide you through your narrative.

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

Memory Box: The Second Key

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

The Collective Memory: The Third Key

This journey isn’t solitary. Involve family and friends, asking them to contribute their memories and perhaps even their own mementos. This collaborative effort enriches your story, adding interesting and invaluable layers and perspectives.

Reflect and Record: The Fourth Key

Now, take a moment to sit with your collection. Whether you’re writing your own story or someone else’s, this reflection period is crucial. Handle each item, record your thoughts, or have a conversation about them. This step solidifies your narrative, embedding the essence of each memory into your story.

Unveiling the Theme: The Fifth Key

As your collection grows, a theme will begin to emerge. It could be family, love, adventure, or simply the beauty of everyday life. If the theme isn’t immediately apparent, don’t worry. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to bring it into focus.

Try this fun step: share your collection with someone close to you and see what stands out to them.

Crafting Your Story

Remember, the goal isn’t to document every single detail but to capture the essence of your memories. Highlight emotions and settings in your descriptions of treasures. For example, on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, a treasure box becomes much more than just a wooden crate full of pearls. Some of the most compelling stories are snapshots, focusing on a singular moment or item. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of telling your story, let these five keys be your guide. You’ll find that once you start, the narrative begins to weave itself.

And remember, as Terry Pratchett once said,

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

So, tell it with love, tell it with nostalgia, but most importantly—just tell it. Need help getting started? Pick up a print or e-book version of this handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tps and Techniques to Write Your Memoir or contact me through the contact form on this website and let’s talk story. I’d love to hear yours!

(Photo courtesy Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash)

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Why Writing Your Story Matters

April 11, 2024

 by Karen Ray
Beauty in Humble Things quote father and daughter in tent house

One of the most common objections I hear when folks are asked to share their story is  “I don’t have anything interesting to say, I’m just a nobody.” If you’ve known me long at all, you know that I often speak of the Beautiful Ordinary and its place of honor in our memories.

Most of us, if given the opportunity, would jump at the chance to sit down with a long-lost relative and listen to them relate their ordinary “Day in the Life” experiences. We’re curious about how they did life and we want to know if they handled trials and challenges in ways that might help us.

We are hardwired to crave stories, and there’s something powerful about the warmth of everyday experiences. It’s how we pass on our values, our culture, our life memories.

We want to know:

  • *How can we connect?
  • *What can we learn?
  • *What did you see and experience?

Author Eudora Welty captured this sense of anticipation surrounding storytelling:

Long before I wrote stories, I listened for stories. Listening for them is something more acute than listening to them. I suppose it’s an early form of participation in what goes on. Listening children know stories are there. When their elders sit and begin, children are just waiting and hoping for one to come out, like a mouse from its hole.

Here are 5 ways writing your story matters:

You can use each as a prompt to jump-start your journaling practice. Or try creating a bubble outline for your personal story. By the way, memoir writing can be short too, think one paragraph, one story.

  1. Empathy and Connection: Your writing can connect you with others who have experienced similar events or share your background. This builds empathy and drives a sense of belonging. Your story might be the bridge that can build stronger relationships and communities.
  2. Self-Reflection: Writing your story allows you to reflect on your experiences, understand your journey, and gain insights. You might find yourself making new connections that may transform how you think about the events in your life.
  3. Inspiration: Sharing your story can inspire others to overcome obstacles and embrace their own journeys. Reading your story may help them in ways you can only dream of.
  4. Growth and Healing: Writing your story, even if just for your personal use, can be cathartic, helping you process challenges and the hard parts of life, finding healing and closure. If you choose to share your story it has the potential to do great good as others relate to your experiences.
  5. Legacy and Impact: You have the opportunity to share with the future your wisdom, lessons learned, experiences, and unique witness to your life and times. Writing your personal history lets you inspire others both now and in the future.

We each collect a lifetime of stories. Each person’s unique history deserves to be remembered and shared with others.

*Write down that funny story about your sibling
*Record your memories of growing up in a specific place/neighborhood
*Commit to paper those stories your friends and family always ask you to tell

Now, take a few easy steps to share yours. Drop me a line and tell me your reason for sharing your story, I’d love to hear from you.
Karen

PS: Jumpstart your story today with this handy little guide: Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir

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Wrong Way Roman Adventure

March 29, 2023

 by Karen Ray

Rome

As we leap into spring here in the U.S. I want to introduce you to my friend Victoria MacGregor from down under in Australia. She’s shared part of a Roman travel adventure with us in the guest post below. Wrong Way in Rome was first published in the Australian newspaper in 2018.

A little about her:
Victoria says the Covid-19 lockdown of 2020 put a temporary damper on her travel plans. However, with a strong desire to do something tangible and memorable, she started to write.

Over the course of her working life, Victoria spent time in business administration management and was a small business owner for over 15 years. She’s no stranger to e-newsletter writing and blogging and has recently discovered a love for writing short stories. Her passion for sharing family history inspired her to write a children’s book and she has a novel and a memoir in the works. Victoria says, “I see lots of open doors! We’re never too old to start something new. Shake that grey matter loose and have a bit of fun doing it.”

Wrong Way in Rome – Victoria MacGregor

We plan our own travel. Mapping out the adventures is almost as much fun as the travel itself. We have a spreadsheet. A colossal, ridiculous database of dates, hotels, flights, trains, currency
conversion, and budget. Nothing ever gets left to chance. Keeps us honest with time and money.

However, like most travel escapades, there’s got to be something unforeseen and overlooked that creeps into the experience and smacks us around the head.

As it happened to us, two and a half months into a four-month, 14 country, European post-retirement mega journey in 2014.

By the time we arrived at Stazione Tibertina in Rome from Venice, we’d stepped into nine countries. Starting in Turkey, weaving our way through Greece, Croatia, France, The Netherlands, Germany, the Czech Republic, Poland, Austria, and then Italy.

The mercury soared that September, but we managed to take in every inch of this magnificent city on foot in only three days. Ancient masterpieces interwoven with modern chic. It’s Roman magic.

Next stop, picturesque Positano. We reviewed the spreadsheet before bed, train tickets to Solerno at the ready, metro times confirmed, alarm set, ready.

Train departure at approximately 9:15 AM. We arrived confidently with almost an hour to spare. Perfect, time for coffee. We were getting good at this. Problem, our train, #1911, wasn’t listed on the departure board. As the minutes ticked by, other trains scheduled to depart after #1911, were getting displayed. #1911 wasn’t.

The queue at the service desk was growing with other confused travelers hoping for answers. Showing the attendant our tickets, anticipating an apologetic explanation, we received quite an unexpected response. “Sorry, you are at Stazione Tibertina. Your train is at Stazione Termini.”

Two stations? Our dumbfounded looks of complete and utter embarrassment prompted the attendant to continue, “If you hurry, you can get on the metro, Stazione Termini is the next stop. You have 10 minutes.”

We ran, bags thumping behind us, down the stairs, into the train, doors shut. Made it. Well, not quite.

In our panic, we’d leaped into a metro going in the opposite direction. Away from Stazione Termini. Frustration was evident by the steam emanating from our ears.

We got off, switched metro and sprinted to Stazione Termini. Train #1911 had left without us, on time. Our final option, purchase another ticket, departing in an hour… from… you guessed it…Stazione Tibertina. Tears, oh yes, there were tears.

#

I trust you enjoyed Victoria’s story as much as I did. Following are a few ways to connect with her. She does fantastic work with family photos using Ponga as well.:
http://www.victoriaspress.com
contactvictoriaspress@gmail.com
On Instagram @victoriaspress
And her delightful children’s book Grace and Tommy’s Frosted Adventure! Click the title to find it on Amazon. I’ve already got my copy!
Stay tuned for Victoria’s memoir, when it’s published I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, I bet one of your own travel adventures came to mind as you read Victoria’s story, write about it for your memoir! If you need help deciding how best to tell your story or need editing or an editorial assessment, I’m available to help. Reach out and let’s chat about your project.
All the best,
Karen

(Photo courtesy Gabriella Clare Marino via Unsplash)

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My Family Hangs Onto Things!

August 29, 2022

 by Karen Ray

It’s great to be back after a busy hiatus. I had the privilege of coaching talented students over the last several months as they worked on writing their memoirs. It’s a thrill to help them bring their stories to life! Don’t worry, I’ll be starting a new class this fall, stay tuned. Plus, I’ll share two new memoirs in the works, so excited to help bring these book babies to life.

Hope you’ll come along on the journey for a new run of interesting stories here on the blog, as well as family history and memoir writing tips. May they inspire you to share your story. Family historian Dianna Hunter Snyder shares as our Guest Blogger:

“I am so thankful to come from a family that hung onto things. I have hundreds of old photos dating back as far as 1860. Different family members have so many items, including two sewing machines and a jigger that was used to make my great grandfather’s hot toddy every night.

The keepsake I love most is the old family Bible, printed in 1841. It contains many family records of marriages, births, and deaths. My family has been so blessed with so much information to start with in our family history research. In recent years two of my 2nd cousins, who have both passed away now, and I worked to fill in some of the holes.

One of those missing bits of information was the burial place of our 3rd Great Grandfather & Grandmother. Jacob Shuff was born in about 1782 and died in 1824. We found the list of his estate in the county records of Scott County, KY, but nothing else. Finally my cousin Janice found a cemetery record for Hanna Houston Shuff in Scott County. She drove to the area and spent hours trying to find the cemetery to no avail.

Finally, a county worker stopped and asked if he could help her.

She was a bit uneasy about that as there was NO ONE ELSE around but at last explained about her search. The man said if she would follow him, he thought he could help her. Fearful, she went anyway. He unlocked a gated area where they kept work supplies and asked her to come see something. Near the back of the enclosure on a small mound of dirt sat the three pieces of Hannah Houston Shuff’s headstone. She took a great picture of it to share with the family.

The county had, some years past, put in new roads along section lines, etc. Hannah’s headstone showed up in the rubble, but no one knew where it came from. But it is the only real record we have of her death date.

Keep looking for your missing piece of information.

You never know where it may show up, even in cemetery storage. We have had a lot of surprises in our searches, but this was one of our most exciting ones. Happy Hunting.

I can’t help but wonder, did Dianna’s great grandfather’s headstone ever turn up as well, or is it lost to history and road construction? Dianna has shared many wonderful stories from her family history in the Family History and Memoir Writers FaceBook Group. Here’s another:


“One of the stories handed down is when my Grandfather Hunter made the Oklahoma Land Run on April 22, 1889. He staked a claim in what is now Okarche, OK. That night a couple with a family drove their wagon in and asked permission to spend the night. Grandpa said yes. By the next morning, Grandpa had sold his claim for a $20 gold piece, a rifle & one of the first ever made stem wound pocket watches. Grandpa Hunter went south to just above what is now Piedmont, OK, and found a claim there. It was there that he found a pretty lady, Lizzie Luella Shuff, and married her. The $20 gold piece is long gone, but the other items are carefully cared for by my brother’s sons.”

Thanks for sharing your stories, Dianna. For the rest of you with memories and family history to share, get in touch with me, and let’s talk about bringing them to life. I’m looking forward to sharing more guest posts. Follow Remembering the Time on FaceBook, Instagram, and Pinterest for more personal history tips, inspiration, and help.
Karen

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