Tag: lifestory

Butterflies, Kittens, and Kickin’ Horses

May 12, 2025

 by Karen Ray

I am a born optimist, looking for the good comes naturally. But it’s not all butterflies and kittens out there. Whether it’s a physical injury or an emotional one, the saddest, most painful times in our lives can be part of the extraordinary process of shaping our unique humanness. Heat, pressure, pain, grief, loneliness, and confusion all play starring roles in our lives in at least one scene.

Pay attention to the “negative” events when you’re working on your life story, whether you’re well on your way to processing them or they still don’t make sense. Our scars and damaged bits are part of the whole package. And they often make us stronger. A painful truth! For example, when a bone is broken, it knits together stronger.

One summer afternoon years ago, I was turning my horse out to pasture under the shady pecan trees in our orchard. The mare was young and high-strung, and the granddaughter of a racehorse. In her joy to run free, she kicked sideways like a karate boss and caught my forearm before I could move.  The pain as the bone broke was stunning! I’m eternally thankful that my arm was across my chest at the time. That piston kick with a thousand pounds behind it did not hit my heart. Or my head.

That bone is stronger now, but also hurts when used too hard or when the weather starts to change. Hey Grandpa, I can sympathize with you now!  The aftereffects of our injuries often stay with us.

Walking away from that accident is a reminder to me of  God’s grace.

Well, sort of, first I crawled. But—I never let go of the lead rope! My takeaway lesson is that sometimes I need to slow down a little, pay attention, and be on my toes around 1000-pound animals. Or other heavyweight problems.

Memoir Prompt:

Sit next to the injury, the sadness, or the anger. Don’t run away from it. Write about it with honesty. You’ll take a giant step toward healing and allowing the emotions and events to take their proper place in your history.

Tips:

*Try writing the story as just facts.

*Rewrite the story with all the emotions.

*Write what “should” have happened, what you’d do differently.

Then—move forward, lighter and wiser. Ready to share your story? Let’s talk about your butterflies, kittens, and kickin’ horses.

(Kicking horse photo courtesy carlos-fernando-bendfeldt via Unsplash)

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Giddyup – Ride Your Story Horse Down a Different Trail

April 15, 2025

 by Karen Ray

We hear a lot these days about limiting beliefs and how they can control our future success. Author Jack Canfield says:

All too often we’re filled with negative and limiting beliefs. We’re filled with doubt. We’re filled with guilt or with a sense of unworthiness. We have a lot of assumptions about the way the world is that are actually wrong.

We can fall into the trap of repeating these beliefs and staying stuck. For example, have you ever gone through something and thought:

Hmmm, I think I’ve been on this same path before.

I’m reminded of those old Westerns where the posse rides past the same rock at least 3 times. ​Remember those?

Here’s the truth, unless we can move past those limiting beliefs, we’re going to ride that same tired horse around the same old rock. I’m pretty sure he’s sick of it, just like you are. Can you hear his internal conversation?

Could we try something different, Mr. Lone Ranger?

Many people are passionate, but because of their limiting beliefs about who they are and what they can do, they never take actions that could make their dream a reality. ~ Tony Robbins

5 Limiting Beliefs Keeping You on the Same Old Trail

•             I’m not ______X enough to do this.

•             I don’t have time/money/skill to write my story.

•             I’ll do this someday.

•             My story isn’t worth sharing.

•             I can’t finish this project.

There are many more limiting beliefs hiding behind that big rock, waiting to pop up and whisper lies to you from a smoking 6 gun. They only have the power you give them.

Here’s the truth. You have all you need to make sharing your story a reality. You can try something different and move past your limiting beliefs about your story, its value, and your ability to tell it in an interesting way.

Writing or recording your story for a few minutes on a regular basis adds up. Just like every step taken gets you further down the trail and closer to your goal. Give your horse and yourself some new scenery. You’ll build momentum and appreciate the variety.

Words are free, and I bet you have paper and pencil or a computer or phone. That’s all you need to get them committed in a permanent form you can work with. Start now, with what you have. It’s enough to begin moving.

“Somedays” have a way of evaporating like a mirage on a desert highway. How many times have you used this excuse? And how has that worked? Remember that old saying,

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

Begin talking to yourself differently. You have the stories, memories, and experiences stored in your heart and soul. They have shaped you into who you are today, a person of great value. What you’ve learned is worth sharing with others.

In fact, you’re probably already sharing your stories with others as you meet with friends and family.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know where to begin or have started and haven’t finished.  Tickle that horse’s side with your boot, give him an air kiss smooch, “C’mon boy, let’s go,” and take a different trail. This time, you’ve got a map, a guide, and someone to ride the trail with you.

Giddyup, let’s go!

You are capable of writing your story–and finishing it! You can do this and it will be ok. So, get out of your own way, ask for help if you need it, and begin. Your story has the power to inspire others.

Tools for your memoir writing saddlebag:

Tell Your Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir (in eBook and print)

Lifeline Journal

My Family My Heart Journal with Prompts

Memoir Writing Prompt Cards

Personal History Writing Bundle

Journaling Tips Resource

(Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons: Clayton Moore as the Lone Ranger and Silver.
7 March 1956)

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Holiday Fun With Day-in-the-Life Interviews

November 27, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Have you ever thought about how a simple conversation can turn into a treasure trove of family history and cherished memories?

In a world where we’re increasingly connected digitally, it’s more important than ever to find meaningful ways to engage with our loved ones, especially during the holiday season. Imagine turning those stories into a customized, treasured book to share with family and friends. Let’s explore how a Day-in-the-Life interview can be a delightful activity for everyone involved, whether you’re gathered at home or connecting virtually.

Storytelling Power:

Storytelling isn’t just about sharing tales. It strengthens family bonds and ensures that the wisdom and insight of older generations are passed down. Think about it: when was the last time you sat down with a family member to really listen to their stories? These narratives offer younger generations a unique glimpse into the past, providing them with a sense of belonging and an understanding of their family’s journey through life.

Getting Started–Your Interview Toolkit:

Embarking on this storytelling adventure is simpler than you might think. Here’s what you’ll need:

  • A video or voice recorder: Your smartphone is perfect for this.
  • A willing relative or friend: Someone eager to share their stories.
  • Photos or items as memory prompts: These are optional but can help jog memories.
  • Paper and pencil: For jotting down notes or memorable quotes.
  • One hour: To ensure a relaxed and unhurried conversation.

Conducting the Interview:

Choose a special time in your interviewee’s life, or let them choose, and let the conversation flow from there. Here are some starter questions to get the ball rolling, especially if you’re focusing on childhood memories:

– How did your family celebrate holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Hanukah?

– Can you describe a particularly memorable holiday celebration? Maybe it was the year something went hilariously wrong!

– What was your favorite holiday food? Did you help make it? Tell the story behind the recipe and include a photo of the person who made it.

Remember, the goal is to capture detailed, vivid memories. If your interviewee is hesitant or gives short answers, ask for sensory details like colors, tastes, and smells to help them open up.

Why This Matters:

In an age where digital communication often replaces face-to-face interactions, taking the time to conduct a Day-in-the-Life interview is a powerful way to connect on a deeper level. You’re not only recording history; you’re learning to understand a loved one’s experiences and seeing the world through their eyes.

Plus, it’s a fantastic opportunity to create something tangible—a book of memories—that can be cherished and shared for generations.

So, why not start this holiday season? Whether you’re looking to bond with your family, preserve precious memories, or simply engage in a fun and meaningful activity, a Day-in-the-Life interview is a beautiful way to achieve it. You’ll be amazed at the stories that unfold and the connections that deepen as a result. And who knows? This could be the beginning of a new family tradition, one interview at a time.

Try this storygathering technique to deepen family bonds and preserve cherished memories and let me know how it went. It’s a fun holiday activity for all ages.

Connect with me on social media @rememberingthetime or reach out with your family history or memoir questions to kray@rememberingthetime.net. I’d love to hear from you!

(Photo courtesy Ekaterina Shakarova via Unsplash)

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5 Powerful Lessons Learned About the Memoir Writing Journey

November 12, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Ever embarked on a journey through your past, pen in hand, ready to etch your life’s story onto the pages of a memoir? It’s an adventure that unveils lessons as timeless as the memories we cherish.

Writing a memoir is so much more than the dry act of recording events from the past; it’s a deeply reflective and transformative journey. Remember how much more fun it was in school to learn history through stories and actual accounts, instead of a sterile list of dates and one-line summaries? Here are a few invaluable lessons I’ve gathered from helping others write their memoirs, hoping they inspire you to start yours:

1. The Power of Reflection

One of the first lessons I learned was the incredible power of reflection. During oral history interviews or while reviewing clients’ manuscripts is like doing a deep dive into their past.

As we revisit their experiences through the lens of their current perspective, we begin to understand their life’s trajectory in new ways.

This process of reflection helps us see the growth that occurred from challenges and the joy found in life’s simple moments.

2. Memory’s Fluidity

I’ve also been struck by the fluidity of memory. Our memories are not static; they evolve with time. Again, courtesy of that lens of current perspective. As we work together on a personal narrative, writers begin to see their past as not just a series of fixed points but a continuum that shapes and is shaped by their present.

Our ideas about past events can also be influenced by our current understanding and emotional state.

For example, I’ve watched writers experience an epiphany when viewing a parent’s life from the bird’s eye vantage point. Oh, so that’s why…This often leads to greater compassion and understanding.

3. The Art of Storytelling

Writing a memoir underscores the importance of storytelling. We work to weave experiences into a narrative that resonates deeply with both the writer and readers. Memoir writers look for the thread that connects disparate events and helps both themselves and others understand their life as a coherent story. This process highlights the significance of perspective and the choices we make in telling our stories.

If we can do this in a way that tugs at the heart, makes readers think, laugh, cry, and perhaps think Me too we’re honoring our story.

4. Healing Through Writing

The act of writing can be unexpectedly healing. It provides a space to process experiences, some of which were painful or difficult to understand at the time they occurred.

Sometimes, writers make an intentional choice to reframe a difficult experience.

Writing these memories, wherever they land on the emotion wheel, allows us to approach them with compassion and insight, facilitating a sense of closure and peace.

5. Legacy and Connection

Finally, I learned about the importance of legacy and connection. Memoir writing is not just for us; it’s a way to share our journey with others. It creates a bridge between generations, offering insights and understanding. This realization underscored the importance of preserving personal histories, not just as records of individual lives but as part of the collective human experience.

Humans throughout history have passed along their hard-won wisdom and knowledge through relating their experiences. I’m profoundly grateful for this and want to continue this life-giving tradition.

The journey of writing our memoirs is one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives.

It teaches us about the complexity of memory, the healing power of writing, and the importance of sharing our stories.

These lessons have not only enriched my understanding of my own life but have also deepened my appreciation for the stories of others. Through this process, I’ve realized that memoir writing is not just a personal endeavor but a valuable contribution to the colorful tapestry of human history.

Isn’t it time you experienced the magic of personal storytelling? Get started today with a handy no-fluff guide that will help you begin your memoir writing journey. Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir is available on Amazon in either print or eBook.

(Photo courtesy Nationaal Archief on Unsplash)

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Transform Lives by Sharing Your Story – Start Your Memoir Today

October 21, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Have you ever considered the profound impact of sharing your story? It’s more than just a recount of events; it’s an exploration of the moments that have shaped you. The act of documenting and sharing your personal history doesn’t just reap benefits for you—it’s a gift that keeps on giving, touching the lives of everyone it reaches.

The Gift of Being Heard

In my journey helping individuals bring their stories to life, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of being heard. It’s a fundamental human desire, and fulfilling it can change lives. Imagine holding a book, or even a story of a few pages, that encapsulates your life, your memories, and your legacy. This tangible expression of your journey is not only a treasure for you but also a beacon for others, offering insight, inspiration, and connection.

Stories That Stick

Think back to the stories that have lingered in your heart. Perhaps it was a life-altering event or a person who reshaped your world. Maybe it was one of those beautifully ordinary days that glow in our souls for a lifetime. These narratives are not just memories; they’re milestones that have the power to influence and inspire. By sharing these experiences, you not only preserve your history but also impart wisdom and lessons that resonate with others.

Kickstart Your Memoir with a Simple Exercise

Feeling overwhelmed about where to start? Here’s a short and sweet exercise to ignite your memoir journey:

*Reflect for 5 Minutes: Choose a pivotal person or event in your life. Don’t overthink their/its significance.

*Write Your Heart Out: Spend 5 minutes jotting down everything you can remember. Let it flow without judgment. No editing.

*Detailing the Story: Return to your notes after a day or two, and spend 10 minutes adding details and depth.

*The Final Touch: After letting your story simmer in your mind, revisit it to add any final thoughts or recollections.

A Special Offer: Celebrate Your Story

In celebration of my birthday month, I’m offering you a unique opportunity. Send in your mini-memoir from this exercise, and I’ll select two stories to professionally edit and polish, free of charge. Whether it’s for you or a loved one, this is your chance to craft a beautiful snapshot of life that brings joy and connection. These snapshot mini-memoirs make unique and beautiful Christmas gifts.

Embrace the Power of Storytelling

Sharing your story is more than a walk down memory lane; it’s an act of courage and a step toward understanding. It’s about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary and recognizing the milestones that have shaped us. So, why not take the first step today? Your story is waiting to be told, and the world is waiting to hear it.

For more storytelling ideas, take a look at the following options:

*Connect with me on social media @rememberingthetime (FaceBook, Instagram, Pinterest)

*Pick up a copy of my handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir on Amazon.

*Check out the Etsy shop for memoir and family history prompts, journals, games, and tools at https://rememberingthetime.etsy.com

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Unlocking Your Story: 5 Steps to Transform Memories into Memoirs

October 7, 2024

 by Karen Ray

The Quest for Memories

Have you ever felt like an archaeologist in your own home, discovering treasures hidden in the nooks and crannies of your past? I recently embarked on such an adventure while cleaning out my mom’s garage. In the back corner, underneath a workbench, I uncovered a shoebox full of forgotten trinkets. This wasn’t just a box of random items; it was a chest of stories waiting to be told. It got me thinking: how many of us have similar collections gathering dust, their stories untold? This is where your journey to document personal history begins.

Gather Your Treasures: The First Key

The initial step is as simple as gathering your collection. Dive into the how, why, where, and when of your treasure’s existence. Artifacts, whether they’re photos, recipes, or mementos, are the foundation of your story. Delve into the details, and let them guide you through your narrative.

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

Memory Box: The Second Key

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

The Collective Memory: The Third Key

This journey isn’t solitary. Involve family and friends, asking them to contribute their memories and perhaps even their own mementos. This collaborative effort enriches your story, adding interesting and invaluable layers and perspectives.

Reflect and Record: The Fourth Key

Now, take a moment to sit with your collection. Whether you’re writing your own story or someone else’s, this reflection period is crucial. Handle each item, record your thoughts, or have a conversation about them. This step solidifies your narrative, embedding the essence of each memory into your story.

Unveiling the Theme: The Fifth Key

As your collection grows, a theme will begin to emerge. It could be family, love, adventure, or simply the beauty of everyday life. If the theme isn’t immediately apparent, don’t worry. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to bring it into focus.

Try this fun step: share your collection with someone close to you and see what stands out to them.

Crafting Your Story

Remember, the goal isn’t to document every single detail but to capture the essence of your memories. Highlight emotions and settings in your descriptions of treasures. For example, on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, a treasure box becomes much more than just a wooden crate full of pearls. Some of the most compelling stories are snapshots, focusing on a singular moment or item. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of telling your story, let these five keys be your guide. You’ll find that once you start, the narrative begins to weave itself.

And remember, as Terry Pratchett once said,

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

So, tell it with love, tell it with nostalgia, but most importantly—just tell it. Need help getting started? Pick up a print or e-book version of this handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tps and Techniques to Write Your Memoir or contact me through the contact form on this website and let’s talk story. I’d love to hear yours!

(Photo courtesy Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash)

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From Memories to Memoirs: Unlocking Your Story with a Lifeline

May 23, 2024

 by Karen Ray

The Power of Being Yourself

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. This timeless piece of wisdom from author Oscar Wilde is a beacon for anyone embarking on the journey of self-reflection and storytelling. It’s a call to embrace your unique story and share it with the world.

Imagine transforming your life’s moments, both big and small, into a captivating essay or book that resonates with friends, family, and future generations. This is where the concept of a Lifeline comes into play. It’s a simple, yet profound tool to help you organize and reflect on the events that have shaped you.

The Lifeline Project: Your First Step

Creating a Lifeline is akin to sketching the outline of a grand painting, where each stroke represents a pivotal moment in your life. You don’t need elaborate tools to begin—just grab some posterboard, copy paper, or even a whiteboard, and you’re set. Consider using sticky notes and a blank wall for a dynamic and flexible approach. This exercise isn’t just for aspiring authors; it’s for anyone eager to delve into their personal or family history with a fresh perspective.

**Getting Started**

Reserve about an hour and start by brainstorming a list of 10 life events. This initial step will open the floodgates to your memory, allowing more moments to surface naturally. You’ll be amazed at how much you can remember during this exercise!

Turning Points and Special Events

Every life is a tapestry of moments that, together, form a unique narrative. Highlighting the turning points and special events in your Lifeline not only outlines your story but also helps you understand the impact of these moments. Consider:

  • – Physical locations that hold significance
  • – Historical events that intersect with your personal journey

Add bullet points or brief notes about stories that come to mind during this process. Include every sensory detail you can remember. These initial snippets can later blossom into full chapters or essays. Or maybe even a poem if you’re so inclined.

Unleashing Creativity and Capturing Memories

Placing your Lifeline where you can see it daily encourages ongoing reflection and creativity. Let your mind wander through your past before bedtime, and keep a journal nearby to jot down any memories or ideas that emerge. In fact, keep something to take notes with on you at all times during this process. Memories pop up at the strangest times and you don’t want to forget. This practice can unearth forgotten treasures and inspire new insights, potentially becoming key components of your story.

The Act of Starting

Louis L’Amour once said,

Start writing – no matter what – the water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.

Your Lifeline is that faucet.

Whether you prefer jotting down notes, using a voice recording app, or sharing memories with a friend, the key is to begin. This simple act of starting can unleash a flow of creativity and memories, paving the way for your storytelling journey. Give yourself a chance!

Sharing Your Story

Now that you’ve embarked on this journey of self-discovery and storytelling, consider sharing a piece of your Lifeline with others. Whether it’s through a personal essay, a blog post, or a conversation with a loved one, your story deserves to be heard. Remember, it’s not just about preserving memories; it’s about celebrating the unique path you’ve traveled and the wisdom gained along the way.

I’d love to hear about an event from your Lifeline or your goals for storytelling this year. Feel free to hit reply or share with a friend for that extra bit of motivation. Let’s turn those taps on and let our stories flow!

Happy Storytelling!

Karen

PS: Want a couple resources to help you create a Lifeline? Check out my handy memoir writing guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir. Or visit the Etsy shop for an elegant Lifeline Journal Bundle ready for you to download and print out so you can begin your journey.

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Please contact me for more information or to to schedule a free consultation. I look forward to visiting with you.





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    Karen Ray

    Address: 331 Bristol Avenue, Las Cruces, NM, 88001

    Phone: 575-323-1048

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