Tag: lifestory

5 Powerful Lessons Learned About the Memoir Writing Journey

November 12, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Ever embarked on a journey through your past, pen in hand, ready to etch your life’s story onto the pages of a memoir? It’s an adventure that unveils lessons as timeless as the memories we cherish.

Writing a memoir is so much more than the dry act of recording events from the past; it’s a deeply reflective and transformative journey. Remember how much more fun it was in school to learn history through stories and actual accounts, instead of a sterile list of dates and one-line summaries? Here are a few invaluable lessons I’ve gathered from helping others write their memoirs, hoping they inspire you to start yours:

1. The Power of Reflection

One of the first lessons I learned was the incredible power of reflection. During oral history interviews or while reviewing clients’ manuscripts is like doing a deep dive into their past.

As we revisit their experiences through the lens of their current perspective, we begin to understand their life’s trajectory in new ways.

This process of reflection helps us see the growth that occurred from challenges and the joy found in life’s simple moments.

2. Memory’s Fluidity

I’ve also been struck by the fluidity of memory. Our memories are not static; they evolve with time. Again, courtesy of that lens of current perspective. As we work together on a personal narrative, writers begin to see their past as not just a series of fixed points but a continuum that shapes and is shaped by their present.

Our ideas about past events can also be influenced by our current understanding and emotional state.

For example, I’ve watched writers experience an epiphany when viewing a parent’s life from the bird’s eye vantage point. Oh, so that’s why…This often leads to greater compassion and understanding.

3. The Art of Storytelling

Writing a memoir underscores the importance of storytelling. We work to weave experiences into a narrative that resonates deeply with both the writer and readers. Memoir writers look for the thread that connects disparate events and helps both themselves and others understand their life as a coherent story. This process highlights the significance of perspective and the choices we make in telling our stories.

If we can do this in a way that tugs at the heart, makes readers think, laugh, cry, and perhaps think Me too we’re honoring our story.

4. Healing Through Writing

The act of writing can be unexpectedly healing. It provides a space to process experiences, some of which were painful or difficult to understand at the time they occurred.

Sometimes, writers make an intentional choice to reframe a difficult experience.

Writing these memories, wherever they land on the emotion wheel, allows us to approach them with compassion and insight, facilitating a sense of closure and peace.

5. Legacy and Connection

Finally, I learned about the importance of legacy and connection. Memoir writing is not just for us; it’s a way to share our journey with others. It creates a bridge between generations, offering insights and understanding. This realization underscored the importance of preserving personal histories, not just as records of individual lives but as part of the collective human experience.

Humans throughout history have passed along their hard-won wisdom and knowledge through relating their experiences. I’m profoundly grateful for this and want to continue this life-giving tradition.

The journey of writing our memoirs is one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives.

It teaches us about the complexity of memory, the healing power of writing, and the importance of sharing our stories.

These lessons have not only enriched my understanding of my own life but have also deepened my appreciation for the stories of others. Through this process, I’ve realized that memoir writing is not just a personal endeavor but a valuable contribution to the colorful tapestry of human history.

Isn’t it time you experienced the magic of personal storytelling? Get started today with a handy no-fluff guide that will help you begin your memoir writing journey. Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir is available on Amazon in either print or eBook.

(Photo courtesy Nationaal Archief on Unsplash)

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Transform Lives by Sharing Your Story – Start Your Memoir Today

October 21, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Have you ever considered the profound impact of sharing your story? It’s more than just a recount of events; it’s an exploration of the moments that have shaped you. The act of documenting and sharing your personal history doesn’t just reap benefits for you—it’s a gift that keeps on giving, touching the lives of everyone it reaches.

The Gift of Being Heard

In my journey helping individuals bring their stories to life, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of being heard. It’s a fundamental human desire, and fulfilling it can change lives. Imagine holding a book, or even a story of a few pages, that encapsulates your life, your memories, and your legacy. This tangible expression of your journey is not only a treasure for you but also a beacon for others, offering insight, inspiration, and connection.

Stories That Stick

Think back to the stories that have lingered in your heart. Perhaps it was a life-altering event or a person who reshaped your world. Maybe it was one of those beautifully ordinary days that glow in our souls for a lifetime. These narratives are not just memories; they’re milestones that have the power to influence and inspire. By sharing these experiences, you not only preserve your history but also impart wisdom and lessons that resonate with others.

Kickstart Your Memoir with a Simple Exercise

Feeling overwhelmed about where to start? Here’s a short and sweet exercise to ignite your memoir journey:

*Reflect for 5 Minutes: Choose a pivotal person or event in your life. Don’t overthink their/its significance.

*Write Your Heart Out: Spend 5 minutes jotting down everything you can remember. Let it flow without judgment. No editing.

*Detailing the Story: Return to your notes after a day or two, and spend 10 minutes adding details and depth.

*The Final Touch: After letting your story simmer in your mind, revisit it to add any final thoughts or recollections.

A Special Offer: Celebrate Your Story

In celebration of my birthday month, I’m offering you a unique opportunity. Send in your mini-memoir from this exercise, and I’ll select two stories to professionally edit and polish, free of charge. Whether it’s for you or a loved one, this is your chance to craft a beautiful snapshot of life that brings joy and connection. These snapshot mini-memoirs make unique and beautiful Christmas gifts.

Embrace the Power of Storytelling

Sharing your story is more than a walk down memory lane; it’s an act of courage and a step toward understanding. It’s about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary and recognizing the milestones that have shaped us. So, why not take the first step today? Your story is waiting to be told, and the world is waiting to hear it.

For more storytelling ideas, take a look at the following options:

*Connect with me on social media @rememberingthetime (FaceBook, Instagram, Pinterest)

*Pick up a copy of my handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir on Amazon.

*Check out the Etsy shop for memoir and family history prompts, journals, games, and tools at https://rememberingthetime.etsy.com

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Unlocking Your Story: 5 Steps to Transform Memories into Memoirs

October 7, 2024

 by Karen Ray

The Quest for Memories

Have you ever felt like an archaeologist in your own home, discovering treasures hidden in the nooks and crannies of your past? I recently embarked on such an adventure while cleaning out my mom’s garage. In the back corner, underneath a workbench, I uncovered a shoebox full of forgotten trinkets. This wasn’t just a box of random items; it was a chest of stories waiting to be told. It got me thinking: how many of us have similar collections gathering dust, their stories untold? This is where your journey to document personal history begins.

Gather Your Treasures: The First Key

The initial step is as simple as gathering your collection. Dive into the how, why, where, and when of your treasure’s existence. Artifacts, whether they’re photos, recipes, or mementos, are the foundation of your story. Delve into the details, and let them guide you through your narrative.

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

Memory Box: The Second Key

Create a memory box. This isn’t just any box; it’s a vessel for your past, a prompt for your memories. As you place each item inside, jot down the memories they evoke. This process is magical, often bringing to light forgotten moments and feelings. You’ll find this tip on page 27 of my book Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir.

The Collective Memory: The Third Key

This journey isn’t solitary. Involve family and friends, asking them to contribute their memories and perhaps even their own mementos. This collaborative effort enriches your story, adding interesting and invaluable layers and perspectives.

Reflect and Record: The Fourth Key

Now, take a moment to sit with your collection. Whether you’re writing your own story or someone else’s, this reflection period is crucial. Handle each item, record your thoughts, or have a conversation about them. This step solidifies your narrative, embedding the essence of each memory into your story.

Unveiling the Theme: The Fifth Key

As your collection grows, a theme will begin to emerge. It could be family, love, adventure, or simply the beauty of everyday life. If the theme isn’t immediately apparent, don’t worry. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to bring it into focus.

Try this fun step: share your collection with someone close to you and see what stands out to them.

Crafting Your Story

Remember, the goal isn’t to document every single detail but to capture the essence of your memories. Highlight emotions and settings in your descriptions of treasures. For example, on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, a treasure box becomes much more than just a wooden crate full of pearls. Some of the most compelling stories are snapshots, focusing on a singular moment or item. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of telling your story, let these five keys be your guide. You’ll find that once you start, the narrative begins to weave itself.

And remember, as Terry Pratchett once said,

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

So, tell it with love, tell it with nostalgia, but most importantly—just tell it. Need help getting started? Pick up a print or e-book version of this handy guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tps and Techniques to Write Your Memoir or contact me through the contact form on this website and let’s talk story. I’d love to hear yours!

(Photo courtesy Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash)

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From Memories to Memoirs: Unlocking Your Story with a Lifeline

May 23, 2024

 by Karen Ray

The Power of Being Yourself

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. This timeless piece of wisdom from author Oscar Wilde is a beacon for anyone embarking on the journey of self-reflection and storytelling. It’s a call to embrace your unique story and share it with the world.

Imagine transforming your life’s moments, both big and small, into a captivating essay or book that resonates with friends, family, and future generations. This is where the concept of a Lifeline comes into play. It’s a simple, yet profound tool to help you organize and reflect on the events that have shaped you.

The Lifeline Project: Your First Step

Creating a Lifeline is akin to sketching the outline of a grand painting, where each stroke represents a pivotal moment in your life. You don’t need elaborate tools to begin—just grab some posterboard, copy paper, or even a whiteboard, and you’re set. Consider using sticky notes and a blank wall for a dynamic and flexible approach. This exercise isn’t just for aspiring authors; it’s for anyone eager to delve into their personal or family history with a fresh perspective.

**Getting Started**

Reserve about an hour and start by brainstorming a list of 10 life events. This initial step will open the floodgates to your memory, allowing more moments to surface naturally. You’ll be amazed at how much you can remember during this exercise!

Turning Points and Special Events

Every life is a tapestry of moments that, together, form a unique narrative. Highlighting the turning points and special events in your Lifeline not only outlines your story but also helps you understand the impact of these moments. Consider:

  • – Physical locations that hold significance
  • – Historical events that intersect with your personal journey

Add bullet points or brief notes about stories that come to mind during this process. Include every sensory detail you can remember. These initial snippets can later blossom into full chapters or essays. Or maybe even a poem if you’re so inclined.

Unleashing Creativity and Capturing Memories

Placing your Lifeline where you can see it daily encourages ongoing reflection and creativity. Let your mind wander through your past before bedtime, and keep a journal nearby to jot down any memories or ideas that emerge. In fact, keep something to take notes with on you at all times during this process. Memories pop up at the strangest times and you don’t want to forget. This practice can unearth forgotten treasures and inspire new insights, potentially becoming key components of your story.

The Act of Starting

Louis L’Amour once said,

Start writing – no matter what – the water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.

Your Lifeline is that faucet.

Whether you prefer jotting down notes, using a voice recording app, or sharing memories with a friend, the key is to begin. This simple act of starting can unleash a flow of creativity and memories, paving the way for your storytelling journey. Give yourself a chance!

Sharing Your Story

Now that you’ve embarked on this journey of self-discovery and storytelling, consider sharing a piece of your Lifeline with others. Whether it’s through a personal essay, a blog post, or a conversation with a loved one, your story deserves to be heard. Remember, it’s not just about preserving memories; it’s about celebrating the unique path you’ve traveled and the wisdom gained along the way.

I’d love to hear about an event from your Lifeline or your goals for storytelling this year. Feel free to hit reply or share with a friend for that extra bit of motivation. Let’s turn those taps on and let our stories flow!

Happy Storytelling!

Karen

PS: Want a couple resources to help you create a Lifeline? Check out my handy memoir writing guide Tell Your Life Story: 10 Tips and Techniques to Write Your Memoir. Or visit the Etsy shop for an elegant Lifeline Journal Bundle ready for you to download and print out so you can begin your journey.

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Country Roads

May 1, 2024

 by Karen Ray

Writer Mary Rue shares a trip down a country road in her guest post. I love this line:

…the past lives and is always part of our present.

Enjoy the journey and may you be inspired to share your own! You’ll find her bio at the end of the story. Thanks for sharing, Mary!

I just returned from a trip into my past or more accurately my Mother’s past.  A visit with cousins in Louisiana led to a trip down some back roads in Washington Parish which led to a remote Baptist church and a small cemetery and a surprise.

Mother says I’ve been to the cemetery before, but I have no recollection of that.  My great grandparents and some of their siblings and children are buried there, and I amazed my family by locating the cemetery on the internet via my iPhone and accessing a website that actually listed all of the people buried there. 

There are thousands of such cemeteries accessible to varying degrees via country roads in every county and state in North America. This particular cemetery, Sunny Hill, is maintained by the descendents of another family whose name appears on many of the headstones. The sad truth is that too many small family cemeteries are not maintained and thus likely to be overgrown and lost forever.

Does it matter if they are lost or found? 

Maybe not.  I suppose I’m interested in such things because of my love of history and dabbling in genealogy, but there was something compelling about standing in the yard between that cemetery and the small white country church that my Mother remembered attending as a child. [She says it used to be a lot bigger church back then!]

As we stood there she started talking again about the Sunny Hill community of her childhood, pointing out where the Methodist church and the general store used to be, where the school she attended was located.  She reminisced about walking to school for one year, first grade, because her Daddy wanted her to go to the school he went to when he was growing up.  Funny thing was that he made Mother’s little sister accompany her on the one mile walk, so my Aunt Pansy sat through first grade that year and then had to go the next year too.  Oh, and by the way, I’m not sure what a five year old could have done to protect a six year old had something bad happened to them on the way to school. But those were different times.

We had piled in the car to begin our trip back to the present, but the past wasn’t through with us yet.  As Mother pointed to a wooded area across the road from the church and told us, “The school was right there,” my cousin said, “I see something.  It looks like a shack.”  Sure enough, we got out of the car and peering into the woods could just make out the building, or what was left of it.  

Just as my cousin was promising to come back and explore the area later, we discovered a path that was more or less clear so we all traipsed into the woods, right up to the dilapidated two-story structure where my grandfather had gone to school and played basketball, and where my Mother had attended first grade.  

There wasn’t much left there to see, but there was a broad staircase, walls, parts of the floor and the roof, and somehow I had no trouble picturing my Mother there.  

For good or ill, the past lives and is always part of our present.  For me, it is all good.  I think John Denver said/sang it best: “Country roads take me home . . . “

(Original post 10/15/2011)

I am a Christian wife, Mother and Grandmother who has finally lived long enough to achieve a lifetime goal – retirement. I enjoy card-making and scrapbooking, reading and photography. I’ve also realized that even at my age God still has plans for my life and more than anything I want to serve Him. – Mary Rue

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My Family Hangs Onto Things!

August 29, 2022

 by Karen Ray

It’s great to be back after a busy hiatus. I had the privilege of coaching talented students over the last several months as they worked on writing their memoirs. It’s a thrill to help them bring their stories to life! Don’t worry, I’ll be starting a new class this fall, stay tuned. Plus, I’ll share two new memoirs in the works, so excited to help bring these book babies to life.

Hope you’ll come along on the journey for a new run of interesting stories here on the blog, as well as family history and memoir writing tips. May they inspire you to share your story. Family historian Dianna Hunter Snyder shares as our Guest Blogger:

“I am so thankful to come from a family that hung onto things. I have hundreds of old photos dating back as far as 1860. Different family members have so many items, including two sewing machines and a jigger that was used to make my great grandfather’s hot toddy every night.

The keepsake I love most is the old family Bible, printed in 1841. It contains many family records of marriages, births, and deaths. My family has been so blessed with so much information to start with in our family history research. In recent years two of my 2nd cousins, who have both passed away now, and I worked to fill in some of the holes.

One of those missing bits of information was the burial place of our 3rd Great Grandfather & Grandmother. Jacob Shuff was born in about 1782 and died in 1824. We found the list of his estate in the county records of Scott County, KY, but nothing else. Finally my cousin Janice found a cemetery record for Hanna Houston Shuff in Scott County. She drove to the area and spent hours trying to find the cemetery to no avail.

Finally, a county worker stopped and asked if he could help her.

She was a bit uneasy about that as there was NO ONE ELSE around but at last explained about her search. The man said if she would follow him, he thought he could help her. Fearful, she went anyway. He unlocked a gated area where they kept work supplies and asked her to come see something. Near the back of the enclosure on a small mound of dirt sat the three pieces of Hannah Houston Shuff’s headstone. She took a great picture of it to share with the family.

The county had, some years past, put in new roads along section lines, etc. Hannah’s headstone showed up in the rubble, but no one knew where it came from. But it is the only real record we have of her death date.

Keep looking for your missing piece of information.

You never know where it may show up, even in cemetery storage. We have had a lot of surprises in our searches, but this was one of our most exciting ones. Happy Hunting.

I can’t help but wonder, did Dianna’s great grandfather’s headstone ever turn up as well, or is it lost to history and road construction? Dianna has shared many wonderful stories from her family history in the Family History and Memoir Writers FaceBook Group. Here’s another:


“One of the stories handed down is when my Grandfather Hunter made the Oklahoma Land Run on April 22, 1889. He staked a claim in what is now Okarche, OK. That night a couple with a family drove their wagon in and asked permission to spend the night. Grandpa said yes. By the next morning, Grandpa had sold his claim for a $20 gold piece, a rifle & one of the first ever made stem wound pocket watches. Grandpa Hunter went south to just above what is now Piedmont, OK, and found a claim there. It was there that he found a pretty lady, Lizzie Luella Shuff, and married her. The $20 gold piece is long gone, but the other items are carefully cared for by my brother’s sons.”

Thanks for sharing your stories, Dianna. For the rest of you with memories and family history to share, get in touch with me, and let’s talk about bringing them to life. I’m looking forward to sharing more guest posts. Follow Remembering the Time on FaceBook, Instagram, and Pinterest for more personal history tips, inspiration, and help.
Karen

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Haircuts & Oral Histories – Guest Post

March 28, 2022

 by Karen Ray

Daniel Powell of Liminal Legacy Media shares a fun story from his own history in this guest blog post. Inspired by his grandfather’s audio recordings, in 2019 Daniel founded Liminal Legacy Media using his extensive audio production skills. He is a master storyteller!

Haircuts & Oral Histories
 
“Hey, Grandpop! Shut your eyes!”
I say to my 80-year-old grandfather as I crouch behind the easy chair clutching a pair of kitchen shears.
{*SNIP*}
 
I emerge wearing a big grin.
“Ok, eyes open! Notice anything different?” holding back a giggle as I ask.
“Uh… well… no, Daniel, I don’t see anything different.”
 “Ok, ok. Eyes closed!”
I duck behind the chair once again.
{*SNIP* – *SNIP* – *SNIP*}
 
Me: “Ok, how about now? Now do you notice anything different?”
Grandpop: “Well, nooo… No difference as far as I can see.”
I return to my hideaway, taking another lock of hair between my fingers.
{*SNIP* – *SNIP* – *SNIP* – *SNIP*}
And the fun of a 5-year-old giving himself a haircut continues. But, of course, my grandfather didn’t notice any of the changes I was making to my hair; he was legally blind! A fact I didn’t fully comprehend at the time. Eventually he did catch on though when Grandmother entered the room and filled him in on what had been taking place right before his eyes. He had a good laugh about it. Though my parents were considerably less entertained when they arrived later that day. 
 
Grandpop was a good man, and obviously, a great sport playing creative games made up by his grandson.  
 
I consider myself very lucky. You see, Grandpop took it upon himself to record a detailed account of his life story for his kids and grandkids. In fact, he was the only one of my 4 grandparents to do so before passing. Being a blind man, writing wasn’t accessible to him. So, sitting in that same easy chair I used to hide behind, he took to his cassette tape recorder and immortalized the tales of his past in the sound of his own voice.

Listening back at the age of 34, I’m forever grateful to him for it.

 
He told all about his humble beginning on the family farm in rural Arkansas, leaving home during the Great Depression to work with the CCC, and of his 2 decades of service in the USAF spanning both WWII and Korean wars. He had quite the storied past.
 
Such a wealth of stories and information is communicated through these recordings. But there are moments I find myself shouting at him through my headphones:
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Grandpop! SLOW DOWN! Stop the tape! REWIND! I want to hear more about THAT.”
But paying no heed to my pleas, he’s already told his brief recount and moved on to the next part of his tale.
 
Oh, how I wish I could’ve been there to ask him in-depth questions about his life as he told his tale.
 
We know our own stories very well. But the difficult part comes in discerning what others may want to know about our stories. Well… unless they’re in the room with you asking questions and expressing curiosity.
 
Whatever it takes for you to record your stories, do it!
Whether you write, record audio, or even make a video, just do it!


And I can’t encourage you enough to invite others into the story telling process with you. A curious individual, a good interviewer, or coach can help you tell your story so much more completely and draw out the depth, vibrance, and important details of your lived experiences.
 
There’s something quite miraculous that takes place in this collaborative and interactive way of telling your stories. Questions raised by your counterpart can bring to light connections between pieces of your story that you may have never even realized beforehand.  And when we’re really lucky these questions can even result in new self-realizations. There’s no moment more precious for your memoir than reflecting back on lived experiences and learning something new about yourself in the process!
 
Through my work helping individuals record their Liminal LegacyTM Immersive Audio Memoirs, I’ve found that when left to ourselves, just like my grandfather, we all tend to cut our own stories short {*SNIP*} and {*SNIP SNIP*} cut off many important details that others would find great value in. And oftentimes {*SNIP SNIP SNIP*} we cut out details because we’ve simply forgotten them. Though through some strange alchemy in the process of sitting with a curious person or a good interviewer, many of these details can begin to come back to light again.
 
Just like a grandchild who’s very poorly barbered their own hair, your stories will be beautiful, regardless of how completely they’re told or how much detail they contain. Just sit down and do it whatever way you can! But one thing that remains true of both storytelling and haircuts, when you do it all on your own it can be hard to ensure your not cutting off the best bits.  
***
Thanks for reading, I bet you have a smile on your face and a few ideas for your own story! I know you’ll want to stay in touch with Daniel and his oral history work. Here are a few ways you can find him:
Web Site: www.liminallegacymedia.com
Instagram: @liminallegacymedia
YouTube: Liminal Legacy Media
Facebook: @liminallegacymedia
Daniel prizes the oral tradition and through his company, Liminal Legacy Media, helps you tell your story through Immersive Audio Memoirs. What exactly is an Immersive Audio Memoir? These legacy audio documentaries lie somewhere between ‘radio theater’ and ‘intimate interview’. Your voice tells the story while powerfully designed audio imagery evokes the scene in the mind’s eye of the listener. Daniel currently lives in Grand Rapids, MI with his wife and 2 young daughters.
 
Contact Daniel today for more information or to start recording your Liminal Legacy!

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Please contact me for more information or to to schedule a free consultation. I look forward to visiting with you.





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    Karen Ray

    Address: 331 Bristol Avenue, Las Cruces, NM, 88001

    Phone: 575-323-1048

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