A friend posted this statement today in a memoir writing discussion thread: “Tomorrow is too late, live today” Then she asked, “Would you agree?” Wow! I can’t stop thinking about this, it’s such an interesting thought and question.
Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!
So many people become stuck in the mire of perfection. Someday, when “x” happens, if this is settled, then I’ll…. We’ve all talked this way. But then…decades go by and you’ve missed out on precious time and memories.
While of course it’s wise to plan and implement for today, tomorrow, and the future, there are opportunities and decisions that must be acted on in the moment. Over analyzing can keep us stuck. That said, it is never too late to take the next right step! As for me, I thrive on balanced living in all three time zones, past, present, and future (I do work with memoir, after all). This one life is a priceless gift and I don’t want to waste a minute of it. So today is simple, sweet, and designed to get you future authors and family historians un-stuck.
Here’s one big Seize the Day tip, it’s like a NEON YELLOW easy button, that can help you move forward with writing your memoir or family history:
#1: REPURPOSE things you’ve already created to get a jumpstart on your memoir content. Can you really do this? Sure thing – letters, recipes, journal entries, newspaper clippings, even descriptions of gifts you’ve made can form the foundation for a new chapter. You can include them as is, expound on the material, or use them as memory prompts. Create a themed collection if you like and make a simple photo book.
Photo book companies send out frequent discounts and can be an easy way to share the story of your keepsakes. Think beyond just photos, you can add story text, recipes, use your imagination. Try Shutterfly, Blurb, Mixbook, Snapfish, Picaboo to name just a few…search for the sales codes.
Now is the ideal time to begin thinking about a simple project to create as a gift for upcoming holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. Books like these gain instant heirloom status and are the secret sauce in memorable gift-giving.
By sharing the story behind family history keepsakes everyone benefits. No one gains if they stay shoved in a box. It is not the item that is of value but the memories behind it. Are you getting the most mileage from these materials you can? Do a little digging and help your family gain a rich understanding of their background and history. You’ll have fun in the process.
Bonus tip: Bet you thought of at least a couple items in your family history collection that you can do this with. Now, go and IMMEDIATELY APPLY these ideas to your treasures while the thought is fresh. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write out everything that comes to mind. Organize it later!
Need help? Feel free to contact me anytime and we’ll brainstorm some options. I’d love to hear from you!
I was born and raised in the small village of Chamisal, New Mexico where I received my early education. Part of that education was in the local schools, but most importantly, it came from my mother and grandparents, and from the local musicians. One of the most influential learning experiences was gathering at the “Resolanas”, the sunny side of a house, to play music. Several musicians of all ages would gather there to practice and also to share music and songs. For some it was a learning experience, for others it was a practice session. These musicians became known as the “Resolaneros.”
This was a time before television and the local dances were a major form of entertainment. Local musicians played and at a very young age I would sneak out of the house in order to go to the dances to learn the music. I would wait until I thought my mother was asleep, and for added protection I turned my jacket inside out as a disguise. Then I would creep out the window and run to the dance. My reason was to learn the music of my people. I would stand in front of the musicians with a little pad of paper and a pencil and draw the frets of a guitar and takes notes where the musicians placed their fingers. I watched how they strummed. I observed, I took notes, and I learned. Then…………. I would make my way home through the dark night, climb quietly back in through the window and find…………. My mother waiting for me with a belt! How do mothers know everything? Still, as she fell back to sleep, I would remain awake and as quietly as I could I would practice what I had seen, and in this manner I taught myself how to play.
Music was simply a part of my culture and many of the boys could play instruments. The balmy summer nights were perfect for adventure, music, and fun! We’d plan where to meet, and then, again with mothers asleep, we’d rendezvous at the appointed time, steal a neighbor’s chicken, take off up into the mountains, and there, under the pine trees, we’d roast the chicken over an open campfire and play music and sing until dawn. Each of us shared with the others what we had learned and we built a repertoire.
There was a local man who was very knowledgeable, knowing the old songs from days past. I so wanted to learn these and found a way to get him to teach me. It so happened that in addition to his love of music, he also had a love of wine. And so trades were made! I supplied the wine, and he sang the songs for me. I collected, in my head. I did not yet know how to either read or write music, so I memorized. I memorized a lot of songs.
Sometimes I would try in [vane] to get the older boys to teach me. “No,” they would yell, “go away. You are too little.” But I wasn’t and it made me angry and I yelled back, “Someday I will be better than all of you,” and for emphasis I went after them with my slingshot.
A turning point came when I got older and was playing professionally without any formal training. I was completely self taught. A lady approached me at a break between sets and asked if I would play a song for her. “Sure,” I said. She handed me some sheet music. I looked at it in complete confusion. What side was up? Which down? What were these symbols? I realized I had a weakness. A bachelor’s degree, two master’s degrees and a PhD followed.
I received my baccalaureate degree in Music Education from Highlands University. Upon completion of my undergraduate work I received a scholarship to pursue a master’s degree in Bilingual Education, again from HIghlands University. Another scholarship followed. This time from the Mexican government. In Mexico I studied at the National Institute of Fine Arts where I obtained a second master’s degree, this one on Ethnomusicology. While studying in Mexico I would go to every and any place where music was played, including dance halls and bars. From these excursions I absorbed the knowledge of so many different styles of music.
I began my career as a professor at Northern New Mexico College in 1980, and retired from that institution in 2004. It was during this time that I also completed my doctorate in Ethnomusicology, which I received in 1988. This same year I became the Chairperson of the Fine Arts Department, a position I held for ten years. Because of my love of music and teaching I have continued to work at NNMC as a part time instructor in folk music.
My early background and training in music has instilled in me a passion for preserving and disseminating the folk music of northern New Mexico. From my several presentations at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D. C., to the elementary school classrooms of New Mexico, and cowboy poetry gatherings in Elko, Nevada , I have done thousands of performances and presentations. I have brought this music to various regions throughout the U.S. and have performed in several states in the country of Mexico. These presentations consist not only of traditional New Mexican folk music but also La Nueva Canción (the new songs), a style that originated in South America.
I have also preserved this music on recorded CDs. I have self published a four volume set of traditional New Mexican folk music, with accompanying CDs that I use with my students at NNMC. Another self published work is a collection of my own compositions written in this traditional style as well as the style of La Nueva Canción. I also self published a manuscript of sixty-seven of my compositions for violin and guitar, which I use with my folk ensemble class. I have written several compositions for theatrical performances and for films. Recently I have composed and recorded several one movement symphonic works named Poemas Musicales (musical poems). UNM Press is currently publishing a book I wrote of the folklore of New Mexico which will be accompanied by twenty-one long playing CDs.
In my many presentations at the local schools I bring part of my collection of over three hundred musical instruments from around the world. I play them and give the students a little history of the instrument. It is a joy to me to see their expressions as they become excited about music, their culture, and the culture from which the various instruments have evolved.
My presentations and performances have won me several prestigious awards. These include being honored as a Living Treasure, the Governor’s Award, the New Mexico Endowment for the Humanities Award. I have been nominated three times for the National Heritage Award for outstanding work in maintaining and preserving traditional folk music.
My son, Cipriano Pablo Vigil, and my daughter, Felicita Vigil Piñón, also perform with me in concerts. They learned and have been practicing these same traditions and music since a very young age. My son and daughter have been performing with me for about 25 years.
Recently, my granddaughter Marisol Vigil (14 years old), my grandson Mitzael Piñón (8 years old), and my youngest grandson Alonzo Vigil (3 years old) have been performing with us on stage.
My repertoire consists of several styles of music and songs that branch out to all the different varieties found in northern New Mexico. My specialty is the traditional folk music, including the ritual music, and my original compositions, which falls into the category of La Nueva Canción (the new song form).
Here are links to Cipriano’s music and his cigar-box guitars, enjoy!
I love to share memoir examples to inspire you to save your own history. Share this example with someone you’d like to encourage to write their story. Remember, a memoir can be as long or short as you like, just begin. Happy memoir writing!
This coaching is for family history or memoir writers who know they want to share their story but are overwhelmed or stuck with how to get it done. You have the stories and memories in your head, but struggle with getting them down on paper.
Ready to kick the overwhelm to the curb? I got you!
Three months, one goal to jumpstart your memoir, me by your side to help you every step of the way.
We will be looking at:
* What you want to accomplish with your story during these 3 months, as well as going forward.
* Where you’re stuck or limiting yourself.
* What are your goals for your story and what do you need to bring them to vibrant life?
* Weekly concrete steps to achieve forward movement toward your goals.
* What tactics and tools to use to make your story shine.
* Figuring out together the best storytelling strategy for you and your unique story.
* How to make everything we accomplish during our three months of 1:1 work last BEYOND and help you continue forward.
Basically, this coaching if for you if you’ve known you want to share your story (or that of a family member) but have become stuck with the size of the goal or the sheer quantity of material to work with. We handle all kinds of stuck, so let’s talk about it!
You will set your goal with my guidance and I’ll be beside you every step of the way over a period of three months to help you achieve it.
How it works:
* We’ll talk once a week on Zoom for an in-depth 1 hour session.
* You’ll have email access to me between sessions, including for critiques and questions.
* You’ll have phone access to me for a 15 minute check in between sessions should you need it.
* I will review whatever material you have and give a professional editorial evaluation, looking for strengths and weaknesses that we can address in relation to your goal. We’ll talk through any fixes or improvements that can help you tell your story in a way you can be proud of.
How to sign up:
Since 1:1 work is a big commitment for both of us, let’s make sure we’re on the same page and that there’s a good personality fit. If you’re interested in working with me, shoot me an email at karen@rememberingthetime.net and let me know what you’d like to achieve in a three month memoir coaching jumpstart. If I believe I can help you, we’ll set up a time to chat over the phone or Zoom call and I’ll send you a detailed overview of the Life Legacy Signature Coaching program.
I’m looking forward to visiting with you about your story!
Memoir writers and family historians typically have loads of great stories to share. On scraps of paper, partially used notebooks, journals of all shapes and sizes, napkins, envelopes. And boxes of photos. And letters. And recipes. You get the picture. One of the most common questions I’m asked is “How do I go about editing all that stuff? Where do I start?” This is often the sticking point and can become a slog through concrete without help. I’ve shared many ideas in workshops, on this blog, and with coaching clients to help you curate all that wonderful material. Take a look through the archive for inspiration.
My goal is to help you get the most out of your story and ensure you’re presenting it in a clear, enjoyable manner that showcases your unique voice.
I’ve written free blogs, given free workshops, and spoken with so many people who are convinced of the importance of sharing their story. I’ve enjoyed working lunches and many cups of coffee while encouraging people with the nuts and bolts of getting their story from their head and heart onto the page or computer screen.
However, I’ve found that sometimes readers, clients, and fellow human beings just need something more focused to get them un-stuck. They want more – specific attention to their unique story, motivation, accountability, and more one on one help to make progress with their story.
So…I began distilling all those years of experience into a simple individual coaching program. This is designed to give you two options to jump start your memoir or family history project, making real progress toward an end goal you can be proud of. Because I believe in the innate value of life stories and experiences I developed the Life Legacy Signature Coaching Program.
The coaching comes in two flavors, 3-month and 6-month. Each is designed to support you with weekly individual meetings, phone calls, and email communication where we work directly with your story. Yes, even if it’s just in the idea stage or languishing in those boxes of material I mentioned. There is help for that!
Life Legacy Coaching is designed to provide you a practical, creative framework for learning how to gather material from your life history, how to focus, and different structuring techniques. Together we’ll enhance your story telling skills to build your memoir or that of someone else. You’ll make steady progress and receive encouraging, constructive feedback on your weekly writing goals as you refine your own unique storytelling voice.
I love to honor your life and memories by helping bring order and meaningful expression to your story. This program is only open to a limited number of clients because of the individual work we’ll do digging into your story and crafting it into a thing of beauty. 2021 promises to be a year of new opportunities as we emerge from this cloud that has been oh so hard but has also helped us focus on the love of friends and family.
Interested in talking about your project? Let’s talk story. I would love to have the opportunity to work with you and give you the tools, confidence, and encouragement to share your story. This is your opportunity to be a part of a very special small group.
What does the book journey look like? It’s not a fast process, each step is part of the ride and is vital to developing your best book. The great thing is, here’s where partnering with a coach can help you maximize your efforts and enjoy the trip. Guess what? There’s help and guidance for every step of this process. Get in touch and tell me about your story vision and goals. You can reach me at karen@rememberingthetime.net. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!
Here’s your bulleted , short roadmap to your best book just FYI:
Collect your material, either your own writing or work with an oral historian who is skilled in conducting memoir/family history interviews
Decide on your basic keys – who, what , when, where, why
Write the stories – don’t edit yet – I know it’s hard
Edit your document 5 -6 times, adding sensory detail, arranging the story till it flows well, continuing to hone your theme
Developmental editing, either on your own or get help, professional or writing group feedback
Revise and correct your book as per feedback
Set your book manuscript aside for at least a few days so you can view it with fresh eyes in the next step
Review, proofread, and edit your story again – Read it aloud to yourself, work with self-editing tools like Grammarly, the Hemingway app or even just Google docs or Word spelling and grammar checks
Work with a copyeditor to further clean up your text – fresh eyes with professional experience will be efficient at polishing your work
Proofread again
Submit for publication if self-publishing, order a proof copy and review again, making corrections as needed
Market your book if for public consumption
Publish final manuscript
Celebrate your great accomplishment!
Market again, and again
Have another story idea? You may be hooked, have fun with it!
Birth, death, and taxes are inevitable, so this seems like the perfect time to focus on new life and inject a little needed humor into your day. Family history and memoir work can be rich in name mining.
Soon to be parents are up to their necks in baby name books. To prime the thought process, here are some choices you may NOT want to consider, but they’ll keep you laughing. If your grandmother or grandad sported one of these monikers my apologies in advance, I hope you’ll take this in the spirit of fun!
Check out this collection of 1918 Extinct Names that Sound Hilarious Today collected from Nameberry.com:
Can I hear it for Lurline: 58 girls or Roswell: 45 boys ? Or how about the twins:
Dicy: 11 girls
Nicie: 11 girls
Boys named Dude: 8 boys today might be whipping around every time someone under the age of 30 calls out to a friend.
For you genealogy and family history buffs, laugh your way through the funny genealogical records at Legacy Tree.com.
In American colonial times, names often reflected qualities or characteristics that parents wanted their children to emulate, like Charity, Patience, or Virtue. Preserved was a name associated with salvation – preserved from sin, death, or destruction. However, Thomas and Mercy Fish should probably have given a little more thought to the burden their son would be forced to bear when they named him Preserved Fish.
If Mr. Preserved Fish could time travel from 1731 to today I wonder what names he might find bizarre or humorous? Portobella? Baby? Hashtag? Any name spelled backwards – just – no.
Glance through the hilarious collection of unbelievable actual names at TheBump.com. Here’s a sample:
“Apparently there’s a family at my gym with the last name Bean. They have girls who are named after different types of beans, like October, Boston and Seven. Seriously.” — shadow
Number 16 from Parentology.com’s list of 20 weirdest baby names is memorable but I’m pretty sure this gal will have to spell it out for the rest of her life.
16. Zephyrine “Zephyr” is the ancient Greek term for the west wind. Zephyrine is a feminized version.
Both my daughter and daughter in law sport lovely derivatives of the classic name Alexandra. This is sometimes confusing when speaking in a hurry as all of us have tripped over the similar names more than once. So far, the ladies have kept a great sense of humor. In our modern age of that ever-present digital boss lady who shall remain nameless here, an entire new past time has arisen of head-whipping “What?” when someone calls “A….!” in their home. I find myself snickering a bit evilly when this happens. I grew up in the era of Karens and sat through my entire school career with at least one other like-named lass in every classroom. And now there’s a meme about us, oy!
Then, there’s the classic Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue. I remember singing this, loudly and badly, with my dad on road trips. Now, that’s a good memory! The song reads like a how-to manual for bad parenting but we loved Cash’s sense of humor and grit. I’d love to know how he got the idea for this song.
What funny or unusual names are hiding in your family history? I’d love to hear them with a photo of their proud owner. Share them on our social media pages on Facebook and Instagram and tell us the backstory! (Makes a great story for your memoir too)
What is your most priceless possession? Today is the anniversary of the discovery of the largest diamond ever found. Discovered in Pretoria, South Africa in 1905, it weighed in at a whopping 1.33 pounds. That’s 3,106 carats! Take a second look at your engagement ring if you’re wearing one, it’s maybe a fraction of a carat, at most 1 carat if your spouse to be was financially well-off. Can you imagine a diamond this big?
If you’ve lived for any length of time of this planet you know that objects can be lost, stolen, or destroyed. What can’t be lost, except by mental incapacity are your memories. These are yours, to replay, to cherish, to share, sometimes to re-bury. They are yours alone and cannot be taken from you, they are the only thing that is uniquely yours.
Back to the shiny rock. This diamond, like most precious things, was shaped and polished to bring out its beauty. It was cut into several different gems, one of which is known as the Star of Africa, or Cullinan I. The article states that the stones “…are on display in the Tower of London with Britain’s other crown jewels; the Cullinan I is mounted in the British Sovereign’s Royal Scepter, while the Cullinan II sits in the Imperial State Crown.” You can read about the discovery of this precious stone on history.com.
Take a look at your memories in a different light as if they are a precious object. Protect them, share them so their beauty and the story behind them can be known by others, especially your family. Consider this treasure that is uniquely yours. Now, imagine 116 years into the future, when your great grandchildren will be able to read a story about your life and history. I can promise you it will be more intensely relevant and interesting to them than the story of a shiny rock.
Do your stories often start out, “When I was little…” or “When I traveled to X that summer…” or maybe “When we lived on the ranch…”? Master outdoor humor writer Patrick McManus wrote many books set during the WHEN of his growing up years with his best friend Crazy Eddie. If you haven’t sampled his stories try this one, The Grasshopper Trap.
Your WHEN, like the other memoir keys, will overlap with the other aspects of your story. However, this one serves as the large, solid master key in jump starting your memoir. You get to decide when to focus your story. Spend time reflecting on the times that have stayed fresh in your memory, what stands out? When does your mind like to travel back to? If you’re not sure, talk it over with friends or family and try to narrow down your story to an impactful time frame. Often when we talk our story out with others or ask them what stories they hear us tell the most, we will find our WHEN. You may be surprised at the feedback others give you about the stories and events they find most intriguing in your life. Remember, the decision is yours but don’t be afraid to explore a bit before you settle on your WHEN.
Memoirs can be narrowly focused on a short time period and be as short as a personal essay or book length. They can also cover an entire life…the choice is up to you. What stands out most to you as you think back over your life and times? Think about where the story lies, what grabs your heart, mind and soul?
Photos are great tool for narrowing down your WHEN. Go through your collection and set aside a few extra photos that illustrate this well for you. It’s good to have choices and your memories will be prompted by different images, see where they take you.
If you’re working on someone else’s story what memories tend to come up repeatedly when you’re talking with them? The answer to this question will help you focus your WHEN. Your chosen time might be dependent upon a memorable historical event or season. For example, the novel The Grapes of Wrath focuses on one family during the Great Depression. The Journals of Lewis and Clark cover one massive exploration event. The Diary of Anne Frank is constrained not only in its “when” but its location.
Look for the key moments and pay attention to what else was going on in the world at that time. This will often help shape the other sections of your memoir, especially the WHY. Explore the nature of your story’s WHEN, one story at a time. If you’re working with a grandparent or other elder, or perhaps even someone who’s no longer alive, this technique works well. Good questions to ask might be related to technological advancements like a lunar landing, world shaking events like wars and natural disasters, or the rise or fall of a world leader. Just as we’re sharing stories of our experiences during this worldwide pandemic, others did the same thing during the 1918 flu epidemic. These are universal human experiences full of story.
If your WHEN covers childhood, mine the events of that time for relevant material, they are some of our favorite recollections. There are countless television shows, movies, and books written about childhood memories. Remember the much-loved Wonder Years television series? Or The Waltons? These story lines did an amazing job of tying in larger societal events in the context of their impact on the characters. Memoirs work the same way. Your impressions and reactions to the events you witnessed at that specific point in time are unique to you but will resonate with others in the universal human language of emotion.
Perhaps your story will center around coming-of-age or a season of loving a favorite pet. The book Rascal, by Sterling North tells the delightful story of one young boy’s pet racoon. Fiction uses the same technique, think about the narrow time setting in To Kill a Mockingbird.
The stories we tell around the family dinner table or at holiday gatherings often start with the phrase “Remember when…?” Revisit these conversations in your mind and as you review your photographs, it will help you define the time setting of your story. Think both broad and narrow; your WHEN might involve personal or family life events that charted the course of your own days. Or historical events you witnessed may call you to share your perspective. You were there, you lived it, share your memories. Brainstorm what you felt, saw and heard. You get the idea, free write everything you can think of.
Remember your first love? That first car or job or when you first moved out on your own? Your wedding day or the birth of your children? Take your pick, there’s a wealth of memories lying behind the door your WHEN key will unlock. Involve your senses as you take notes and prep for working on this part of your story. What did the flowers look and smell like? How about the food that was served? Maybe the smell of fresh tilled fields always takes you back to that childhood summer on the farm. Do you remember the first time you went to the fair; the smell of corndogs and cotton candy mixed with the livestock barns? Unforgettable! Remember…the smell of a summer rainstorm, walking a favorite dog and hugging his soft side, the taste of Grandma’s fresh chocolate chip cookies, the smell of your great uncle’s pipe tobacco, the stories heard while spending time with a loved grandparent.
Pay attention to what stands out as you write down or record your memories, note the emotions and thoughts that rise up repeatedly. This is most often where your story lies – its the WHEN key under the mat, the sign post for your memoir. Give the future a gift of memories, personal and world history from your perspective.
Spend some time choosing your WHEN, you’ll be glad you did. This key will unlock doors and the stories will come tumbling out.
