Planning a family reunion this year? Life In Tandem Photography and Remembering the Time Personal History have teamed up to make your event an amazing time to remember with your family. We’ll combine the best of photography with oral history and story telling. While you enjoy food, fun and family we’ll interview your relatives sharing their one of a kind memories and capture those priceless photographic moments. Keepsake albums, books and other mementos of your reunion will then be available to save and enjoy your family’s history.
For some great ideas for family activities check out https://howdoesshe.com/5-bonding-ideas-next-family-reunion/
Want even more ideas? Here’s a massive list from Gathered Again:
Of course, no reunion is complete without delicious food.
How about gathering those well-loved recipes and creating a “Taste of the Smith/Lucero Family” cookbook that you can send out to everyone later? What a fun gift, especially for the younger families starting out.
Summer will be here before you know it–let us help you hit a home run with your family reunion!
Time. Your mom not only gave you life, she gave you the priceless gift of time, even if she only carried you close to her heart for nine months. May you feel the weight of that and gratitude for the next breath you take. When she was happy, tired, sad, joyful, wrung out, laughing with you, crying with you and just doing life with you, you occupied her thoughts. You are imprinted on every waking minute of her life.
If Mother’s Day is a time of grief for you, we understand that too. May you find peace and joy in blessing others this weekend; it will comfort and soothe your own heart too.
Mom, Madre, Mommy, Ma’am, Lisa—Whatever you call your mom or the lady in your life you love like a mother, you know that the second Sunday in May is a day to honor her. I double dog dare you to do this in a new way. Here are two unique and amazing gift ideas for you to thrill your mom this Mother’s Day:
Want something Mom can unwrap?
Memoir in a Basket
A beautiful gift basket filled with a fill-in–the-blank life story journal, an elegant pen, a list of memory prompts and questions, a consult with me (in person if she’s in Las Cruces or El Paso, by phone if she’s not) assorted coffee and tea and of course chocolate.
Gift certificates are available as well in any denomination for you to help make your mom’s story a reality. Pitch in with your siblings and give Mom the inspiration to share her story.
Memoir in a Basket–$60
Free delivery in Las Cruces
$10 shipping if mailing
Order via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone at 575-323-1048
Want to give Mom some one-on-one time?
The Gift of Time
Most moms I’ve visited with want time with their kids, a hug, to know they are loved and cherished. So here’s a top notch idea. Give her the gift of time spent listening to her story, interview her about some of her memories. Write them up in a beautiful little book, put in a few photos of her through the years, including some when she’s a gorgeous teenager and some when she’s a gorgeous retiree.
Put in some photos of life before you, even though you secretly know you are the center of her world. Get to know her better, what were her dreams and hopes, what are they now? Tuck away some of those ideas for future dates with your mom. Pick at least one or two a year and make them happen.
(Fellow mom and daughter)
Students all around the country are wrapping up their semesters. The internet is exploding with pet videos to soothe their weary minds and parents and grandparents everywhere are making celebration plans for their graduates. As promised, following are some ideas for preserving these young folks’ life memories to date. In fact, years from now it is often the stories of childhood and youth that we beg our older relatives to tell just one more time. Decades in the future your fabulous young person’s family will love to see photos and hear stories of events that helped shape them into who they are.
How Can You Help?
Problem Solved–continue reading for your 3 step, easy plan to make this happen
Here are 3 steps to focus your ideas, gather material and then what you can do with this wonderful story. The key to creating this in a short amount of time is to narrow the scope of your project, gather all your material in one place and then use some easy online or physical tools to make it a tangible reality.
Let’s use the example of a high school or college age young person about to graduate. Decide whether you want to run through a quick general story of their life or focus on a theme of sports, music, hobbies or other interest. For young folks I recommend doing an overview of their life as it shows so many different sides of who they are as a person. This is who you want to honor, right? Even big “kids” delight in seeing photos and hearing stories about when they grew up. Include these original bits, it shows them how valued and loved they are.
I spoke with a gifted wedding photographer earlier this week and she emphasized the importance of having some hard copy photos of your life events. Hang them around your house, put them in an album for the coffee table, put them in places you can actually hold and touch. Printed photos are preserved and enjoyed in a way that purely digital photos just can’t compete with. Besides, when that solar flare finally hits or some other catastrophe, don’t you want to have a photo of the people you love to hold even if you don’t have electricity? Oh yes you do! And we all know those convenient cell phones that hold most of your photos sometimes meet an untimely end in laundry or toilet. Don’t make them the sole repository of your life’s memories.
Pull together photos, artwork, notes and stories from a representative sample of years. I like to take material and photos from about every 2-3 years during a young person’s life. This will usually capture major changes and life events as well as show a progression of growth and interests.
It would be a great idea to interview your subject about some of their key memories of growing up. Even an hour or two of visiting can give you a wealth of stories to type up and include in your book. Best of all, you’ll both enjoy the process and you’ll also have their voice telling the stories. How awesome is that?
Do include a few school photos
Use primarily candid photos; they truly capture
the essence of someone’s personality.
Like this one!
My hands down favorite photo of my brother and I.
So thankful my mom had the foresight to take one
showing us as we looked most of the time instead of
all spiffed up in dress clothes.
What do you think are the 3 most important things in life?
Who was/is your best friend in school and why?
What are 10 things that make you laugh?
What do you imagine the world will look like 100 years from now?
What is your favorite childhood memory?
Who was your favorite teacher and why?
Describe your pet(s) and why you enjoy them.
Describe your siblings and what you enjoy doing together.
What things do you enjoy for fun?
Who has been the kindest to you?
Describe a happy moment in your life.
Create a tangible book that your graduate can hold and page through, sharing with others. There are several different ways you can do this. Here are 3:
*Scrapbook–A few years ago this was all the rage and can still be a popular tool to creatively share your story. If you enjoy this dig out your supplies, pick up a new album and then give yourself some time to create a beautiful work of art with these saved memories.
*Shutterfly or similar photo book—photo books that can be created online give you quite a bit of creative flexibility and will turn out a nicely bound high quality book. Coupons abound for these types of gifts and the digital creation process is designed to be pretty simple. And yes, you can have both text and photos in the book. Make sure to use both as years from now they’ll want the story behind the photos. Frequent sales with these companies can often bring the price down to not much more than producing it at the local print shop.
*Copy Shop coil bound book—if dollars are tight, never fear, your young person will appreciate and cherish this book format just as much. Here’s a couple ways to do this—first–computer set up– take the photos and text you’ve collected and arrange them in a document on your computer. You can get creative with color, text styles and photo placement. When you like the way it looks create a PDF file to lock everything in place. Then, put it on a jump drive, take it to your local copy shop and have them print up several copies with a coil binding and nice quality paper. Use a heavier glossy card stock for the cover and glossy finish paper inside to really make those photos pop. A book like this will usually run less than $20 to print.
For each of these options I encourage you to include at least a couple photos that are black and white. You can easily convert your color images to this classic style. They have a timeless quality that somehow shows the subject in a different way that really draws out their personality and character.
Now print or order several copies of your gift book. I guarantee it will stand out and it will be cherished, there is nothing more unique and precious than someone’s life story. Your graduate will treasure this always. And of course, you’ll want one for yourself and other family members as well.
Have fun with the process of making this amazing gift for your beloved young person. They will love it and remember it always.
This advice was characteristic of Betty Somppi’s lively take on life. Although she passed away this spring just days after witnessing the dedication of the Women Veterans Monument in Las Cruces, her words and lifelong enthusiasm continue to make the media rounds. Her life impact hasn’t stopped. Take a look at the video interview on the City of Las Cruces FaceBook page and notice her lifestory book, the photos and her enjoyment in talking about her life. Below is a profile I wrote about her after a fascinating conversation back in 2016. I’m so glad she took the time to share a bit of her life’s history while she was living. You don’t have to wait till someone is writing your obituary to do the same. (Photo–Betty Somppi, courtesy of her friend, Karen Wood)
A few days ago I had the privilege of giving a workshop to the Las Cruces Association of Educational Retirees, providing some practical inspiration for sharing their stories. Who should I meet later in the audience but one of my favorite teachers, Hannah Monsimer. Seventh grade English teacher extraordinaire! If that’s not a tough job I don’t know what is. Of course, I gave her a big hug and told the group she was responsible encouraging my love of writing. She was kind, tough and an excellent teacher; qualities I am grateful for to this day. Thank you Mrs. Monsimer!
Betty Somppi was enjoying a new career as a lab technician at a Cincinnati hospital “when the war came along…Most women wanted to do something and there weren’t that many choices for women. We were very interested and we wanted to be involved more than just going around the community. So I applied when we first heard about the Women’s Army Corps, which was WAAC (Women’s Army Auxiliary Corps) at that time. She recalls that the bill passed in March and by July the first class of officers were in training. “That shows how quickly Congress can work when they want to,” she laughs.
She served in the WAAC for about a year before it became the WAC (the women’s branch of the United States Army). “We had to apply all over again and had to have our physicals all over again and we didn’t know until the word came back from Washington, whether we had been accepted or not. That was very traumatic for some of the women who had been there for a year. Somppi remembers Colonel Oveta Culp Hobby of Killeen, Texas served as the first director of both the WAAC and then the WAC. “Mrs. Hobby” as she was called built the Corps to over 100,000 in under a year.
Somppi explains that this new organization had no officers or enlisted people. “They picked 1400 women from those who applied throughout the United States,” she says, “We went into officers training with the idea that if we did not complete OC (Officer Candidate) we would be enlisted. They were recruiting enlisted people at the same time…These 1400 women were put into the first nine officers classes.” She was in her early twenties when she entered the fifth OC class.
She arrived at Fort Des Moines Provisional Army Officer Training School in July, 1942 the day the first class graduated and heard Colonel Hobby speak. “I think if anybody thought this was going to be some sort of a glamour deal, they got a good shock. We got off the train and had our suitcases in hand and got piled into the back of a six by truck and taken to the base. Once we got to the base we were assigned to our quarters. We had all male officers for those nine classes because there were no WAC officers trained yet.”
After graduation she was assigned to the base. “I was in the training section doing the basic training. After they finished that they went either into motor transport or clerks or cooks and bakers. Those were the three fields that they were training for and had schools at Fort Des Moines.” Within a year the army had women in 274 fields in the military. Somppi says,
In December of ’42 she was one of the first to be sent to Chemical Warfare School for six weeks along with five other women at Edgewood Arsenal, Maryland. “My job was to go back and teach chemical warfare to the people at Fort Des Moines.”She’s kept newspaper clippings from that time and says, “It (the school) was very very good. There were I think something like 180 army and a few marines and air force, all men and then us six women. We were all single and we had a great time. Everybody was curious about us, we were still pretty new and there were only a few out in the field. We were the equivalent of second lieutenants and wore gold bars. The general down there invited all six of us to all the fancy Christmas parties, he would send his car over to our quarters for us…they always had the general’s star on the car and the people on the ground always had to salute when it went by…it was interesting.”
Somppi says, “The old fort (Des Moines) looked a great deal like Ft. Bliss, big parade ground, big enough to play two horse polo teams. I walked to work every morning. My office was in Boomtown. The trainees came to us as a class, as a unit of a company and we trained them in military customs and courtesies and the history of the army; all those things that they still do today. Boomtown was just being finished, there were not streets yet and those companies waded to our classrooms through the mud. In fact, they used to come in with a shovel to get the mud off the floor before they swept it. It was a lot of fun.” She says the best food the army ever had was in those mess halls.
From there Somppi was stationed at Fort Oglethorpe as Director of Training, later helping close that base down. She says, “I remember the day that they announced that the war ended, the colonel at Ft. Oglethorpe’s son was killed that very day.” She returned to Fort Des Moines and served as Operations Officer at the separations center, processing returning military personnel. During that time the war in the Pacific ended and her husband was sent back from China.
The Somppis were married during the war, “We always said those wartime marriages never ended. Ours ended last March at 72 years. We were very fortunate.” They had difficulty meeting up to marry, “Jimmy was about three days later than the date we had set because at that time troop trains were pushed aside to get the freight through…He was a corporal when we were going to get married and by the time he got up there he had his third stripe on. I had just got my captain’s bars a couple of months before.” The couple met seven years before while she was teaching first grade in Pennsylvania. He was a senior in high school at that time. When asked her secret to a long life and sharp brain she laughs, “I always tell people
Jimmy was six years younger than me which at that time was something pretty shocking…that long marriage is a great comfort to me now.” This trip will be in Jimmy’s honor. She lives in independent living at White Acres and celebrated her 101st birthday the day after this interview. She says,
Although the couple was stationed in Washington, DC, they had never seen the memorial. After Jimmy passed away, Betty’s close friend Karen Woods asked her if she would consider going on Honor Flight of Southern New Mexico’s (also serving El Paso) Mission 9 this fall. She says, “I said yes, I think now I should. I felt like this was something I could look forward to, I needed that right at that moment. I’m ready; I’m very excited about it.” The couple had three daughters; their eldest, Sharon, will be going along on the Honor Flight late this September as her mother’s guardian.
What stands out from her service days are she says, “The wonderful people that came through Fort Des Moines. Everybody wanted to come and see what happened… We had Mrs. Roosevelt and many many outstanding people all came and talked to us as an officers group; I’m sure they did to a lot of the enlisted too. We met them and felt personally greeted. Mrs. Roosevelt managed in the receiving line to say something personal to everybody and you felt like you had met her, you know?”
Somppi sounds a bit wistful, “Every person that worked with me or for me is gone, my secretary in my office just died last year and that was the last one of the friends that I had kept in touch with for many years.” She is a charter member of the Women’s Memorial in Washington, DC. If you visit there you can view her biography and photo as part of the data base. She’s proud of her groundbreaking service, “We were right there at the beginning. We got a lot of kidding about it. People around Des Moines were used to us and were very welcoming and very nice to us. It was fun…I became a friend of the general (Major General Gwendolyn Bingham) when she was at White Sands. I was so proud that we had anything to do with that, they recognized us and said ‘Well you got it started you know.’ They talked about how far women in the military have come, they fill every field now and they’ve held every rank and it’s wonderful to see.”
Thanks for taking the time to read about Betty’s life. This next week I’ll be bringing you some tips for capturing life stories of folks a bit younger, the graduates in your life. Stay tuned!
Taking time to intentionally remember, to encourage and help draw out memories for people who are struggling with memory impairment are critical for quality of life and slowing down the process of memory loss. Our memories can help us feel connected and loved. If you have a memory challenged family member or friend encourage their “remember when…” moments by using sensory triggers. These might be a photo, smells like baked goods, apples, green chile or perfume. Or it might be a favorite item of clothing, music or the furry touch of a pet. Get creative and ask them what they remember when you share these prompts. Its wonderful exercise for the brain and you may learn some things you didn’t know about their life.
Medical research has shown that writing down or talking about memories can be therapeutic and healing. It can even help promote increased memory retention and sharpen thinking in some memory impaired people. In her blog The Heart and Craft of Lifewriting writer Sharon Lippincott comments on a memoir entitled Growing Old, by Swiss psychoanalyst Danielle Quinodoz: “The book focuses on the enormous value elderly people derive from reviewing their memories and attaining an integrated overview of their lives, …People who are able to view their lives in this meaningful way experience more joy in living…They tend to approach aging more actively, retaining curiosity and involvement with life and the people around them….”
My mother used the memory trigger of music when her sister began losing her memory. She says, “Right until she got real bad I would call her and we would sing together. Sometimes we’d sing Christmas songs, even if it was July. She would even harmonize up till the last. We kept singing until she couldn’t sing anymore. But she listened.”
This is for my Auntie:
The cancer came back after three years in remission. Only this time she didn’t know it. Those three years had brought a crushing avalanche of change. She was aware of all the changes the first year, then the second she just stopped caring. During that time people had started to look at her funny. During that time her youngest daughter, a grown woman of 42, had died of a massive heart attack; she had just lain down and not woken up. She heard sometimes as people whispered the word “mercy” when they talked about her daughter in voices that were a bit too loud.
She remembered Kelly, but it was as if she had gone somewhere far away and would be coming back soon. She just couldn’t remember when. But she looked for her every day. The anticipation of seeing her was a joy. Her husband never mentioned their daughter anymore. She wondered about that. But he had become kind and somewhat vague and somehow too careful of her. She wondered about that too. But not for long anymore.
Staring out the window at the succulent garden she had planted years ago in pots on the back patio she marveled at the beautiful designs of the leaves. She stared at the swirling patterns of a hen and chick and tried to make sense of it. She asked her husband about the chicken plant but he didn’t know what she was talking about. That was frustrating. After a while she gave up trying to explain it to him. She wondered why he was so dense.
Her sister called often to sing with her. Somehow the words to the songs were still there in her mind. They always came to her. Laughter and singing. And ice cream milkshakes with whipped cream and a cherry on top. These were bright and clear. For a while.
“One life on this earth is all we get, whether it is enough or not enough, and the obvious conclusion would seem to be that at the very least we are fools if we do not live it as fully and bravely and beautifully as we can.”
Want to explore this thought further on this Easter weekend? Take a look at this essay
The Book of Myself, by Carl and David Marshall is a great fill-in-the-blank style with excellent prompts to get you thinking about your life story. Grab your favorite pen and answer the questions, easy to do.
Living Legacies, by Duane Elgin and Coleen LeDrew is a wonderfully practical illustrated how-to guide full of great questions and examples. If you’re more visual and like to “see ” how it’s done, take a look at this one.
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Writing a Memoir, by Victoria Costello is everything you’ve come to expect from this series. Don’t take offense, it’s really an easy to follow guide that covers the nuts and bolts in a practical, doable way. If you enjoy writing this is probably the book for you.