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Writing prompts are great conversation starters. Exploring childhood memories is a great place to start, whether you’re working on your own story or helping a friend or family member. Don’t be satisfied with “Oh, I had a good childhood, or “My growing up years were rough.”

Get specific and sensory whether you’re telling your own story or helping draw out someone else’s.

 

Kim Kautzer of WriteShop has a great list of questions to get those memories flowing, check out her blog  on Childhood Memory Writing  for inspiration. She says:

“As vivid as the moment seems at the time, memories fade. These prompts will help jog them. Invite your older children to participate. They’re in closer proximity to their memories, and can usually remember the details more vividly….”

 

Here’s an example using one of her prompts:

1. Describe your favorite hideaway.

Before middle school hit like a freight train full of angst I’d spend hours at a time in my secret warm, dusty hideout. During these late childhood years I’d wrestle a few sweet smelling hay bales around so they made a little cave up in the top of the pole barn. Then, I’d climb down to collect whatever book I was reading that week, tuck a cat under one arm and clamber back up to my nest, being careful of my chronically skinned knees. Curling my long skinny frame onto an old coat spread out on the hay I’d settle into my secret sanctuary with a contented cat and book.

Safe, quiet, peaceful. Traveling to distant places, getting lost in story, daydreaming about winning the track meet, becoming a writer or just the sweet red headed boy who said “hi.” Kid stuff yes, but crucial deposits into a bank of memories to draw on through life.

 

Learning to communicate well is a skill you can nurture in anyone, whether 5 or 75. If you have kiddos who are “reluctant writers” take a look at the rest of the WriteShop website, you’ll find a wealth of practical help. Pass it along to your teacher friends too.

 

Childhood memories could also turn into a bit of story like this:

Grandma had a penchant for daydreaming and a vivid imagination and used these skills to liven up the duties and routine of caring for a large family. Rosie had discovered this one summer when she’d been sent to help Grandma on the farm, and, she suspected, get her out of her overworked mother’s hair for a few weeks. She’d promised that she would help and not sleep too late and do chores without being told, and wash the dishes and, the list went on.

When she arrived at the Big House however, that’s what her dad always called the old white Victorian, she discovered that Grandma was energetic and capable and didn’t feel overworked in the least. On the contrary, as she bustled about her morning routine with the sun shining in through the wavy glass of the old windows, Rosie had followed her around, trying to help and watching her. Grandma was quick to smile, her green eyes crinkling at the corners. She was patient to and Rosie did learn, but it took her three times as long to do a chore as it did Grandma who smoothly went through the motions of caring for her home and family just like she had for all the decades of her adult life.

Rosie shyly asked about what things were like when Grandma was a girl, then got lost in the stories she told as they hung up sheets in the grass scented breeze outside on the drying lines or picked sun warmed blackberries in the garden, licking the juice off their fingers and feeling the delicious pop when biting down on a ripe berry. They made cobbler in her big cast iron skillet with Grandma’s homemade sweet biscuit dough.

 

Where will your childhood memories take you? Use Kim’s list of thought provoking questions and do three things: answer them yourself and interview both a child and an older person. You can learn a lot from your friends at both ends of the age spectrum.

Southern  New Mexico is smack in the middle of a La Nina weather pattern. Which means not a lot of the white stuff for us this year. I’m missing that snow so here’s a link to some cold weather duds and fun from days gone by:

 

https://weather.com/sports-recreation/ski/news/2013-12-16-vintage-winter-

wear-cold-below-zero-coat-20131014

 

I really like the lady skiing behind her fuzzy coated horse in slide 7. That would have been me in the last century. Also, the motor sleigh in slide 10 is a riot! Forerunner of the snowmobile I guess.

 

One of the beautiful things about the Southwest is our mild weather and sunshine but we get the cold weather friskies just like folks in days gone by. Notice how everyone is smiling in the slide show above?

Of course, their faces might be frozen that way.

 

Anyone have some old pics of winter fun or fashion in our neck of the woods? And for those of you that follow along from other parts of the country—send ‘em in, we want to see! In fact, here’s a couple winter shots from a memorable trip I took with my daughter to England a few years back—right after their worst ice storm in 30 years. Made for some gorgeous scenery! These pics were taken  in Keswick and Penrith in the Northern England lake country.

 

Can you share some vintage winter photos and stories of what you or your family used to do for fun when the mercury dropped? Anyone have an old story your grandparents used to tell of a cold winter back in the early 1900s here in New Mexico? I’d love to hear it.

 

Or maybe your family recalls winter storms when you get together. One of my personal history clients tells of the terrible blizzard of ’57 that hit nine states and made national headlines, sweeping across New Mexico and the plains states.

 

Cattleman Pat Withers in the oral history collection Homes on the Range, (Peter Eidenbach and Beth Morgan) recalls a June snowstorm in the Tularosa Basin:

“…It come 3 inches of the wettest snow in the forest –three of the wettest, coldest cowboys you ever saw in your life. We went up there the day before and gathered and bedded ’em down on the fence line that night.

Went up there the next mornin’, just as pretty a day as you ever saw. and here come a northern over that hill, just a big ol’ black cloud, and went to snowin’ and the wind a blowin’; boy, we liked to froze to death –we’s in our shirt sleeves. it was ’44, I believe…that’s the coldest I’ve ever been. i finally dug into a big ol’ beargrass and got it on fire, and we stood around that as close as we could and kinda dried out and warmed up….”

Whichever winter story you have, fun or fright, share it with us and start the conversation.

Here’s a hot chocolate toast to all,

Karen

Happy New Year Everyone! Each day is an investment—do you ever think about your own personal stash of 24 hours that way?

 

I have been experiencing a technology flash back the last few days. My landline has been down and the internet access sporadic. While I don’t pretend to understand how this all works it has led to some wonderfully quiet days of spending time with family, reading a slew of paperback mysteries and hanging out with the pets in front of the fire. Pretty nice!

 

Phone repairs are set to happen tomorrow and in the meantime I hope to grab a brief internet window and post this. On this first day of the year the gorgeous New Mexico sunshine is calling so I’m doing a little outside work and thinking about where I’d like to take this blog during 2018.

 

How best to number my days?

 

I’ve finished up the second of two major book projects at the end of 2017 and have been thrilled to help these families save their stories. They join the large group of folks who have put on their bucket list– “I want to write a book” and the small group that have accomplished it. Congratulations! I have been blessed to be part of making that happen. Thank you!

 

This year I have room to take on five new coaching clients. If you want some hands on personalized help telling your story or that of someone you love contact me and let’s talk about how to get you started. You’ll have a lot of fun working on this goal; it’s an amazing and satisfying experience.

 

You too can make this happen in 2018. Let this be the year!

 

Blessings to you all as you stand poised to open your gift of a brand new year.

Karen

 

 

A really smart guy by the name of R.C. Trench said this:

“The best is oftentimes the enemy of the good; and many a good book has remained unwritten… because there floated before the mind’s eye the ideal of a better or a best.”

 

Guess when he wrote this—1861, yup, way back the same year the Civil War started. Author Rosanne Bane started off a recent blog post with this quote, driving home the point that this is not a new problem. It is a sentiment and dare I say, EXCUSE, that I hear so many times. In fact, I’ve even succumbed to it myself. Want to make progress toward an important goal? Insisting on perfection is not the way to do it.

Here’s the “Reader’s Digest” version of Bane’s article. If you’d like to read the entire thing (highly recommended), here’s the link:

http://blog.bookbaby.com/2017/11/good-enough-may-be-the-best-thing/

 

She makes the point that sometimes it is crucial that you do your best, especially if you’re performing brain surgery, flying a plane or maybe parenting a two year old.

However, we can be

Paralyzed by perfection

 

Bane says:

“If you refuse to accept good enough, you can’t move on. If you make writing a matter of “I’ll do my best or do nothing,” you’ll end up doing nothing most of the time because you simply can’t be your best all the time (or even most of the time). If you were your best all the time, by definition, that would just be your average.

You can’t let perfectionism get in the way. Well actually, you can – it’s just not effective or satisfying to let it get in your way. I truly wish I’d been more vulnerable, taken more risks, made more mistakes, and fallen on my face a lot more often earlier in my career. But with luck and persistence, I can do that now.”

 

This  Point of Paralysis  is exactly the spot where many folks get stuck in thinking about saving their family stories. You know you want to do it, you’re afraid of the scope of the job, you’re not sure where to start, you don’t consider yourself a writer, you’ll do it someday, etc.

 

Bane’s takeaway,

“…first ideas don’t have to be brilliant; they only have to be good enough to give you a place to move on from.”

 

Let me break it down:

A two hour oral history is a small time commitment capturing the irreplaceable voice of the person you love– timbre, nuance, humor, expressions, life experience.

A four hour oral history is a small time commitment—accomplishing all of the above and drawing out more stories, more unique humanity.

An entire series of life history interviews is a small time commitment—about 12 hours. It works because of the guided, skilled nature of the interviewer, focused on drawing out and enhancing the innate story telling skills we all possess as human beings. And did I mention it’s fun?

Here’s the neat thing–You don’t even have to be able to write! I will talk you through your story and write it up for you. Voila!

 

In the amount of time it takes to watch a movie or follow a season of your favorite TV show you could make a life history project happen for someone you love.

 

Is this your year? Break past the paralysis point and give me a call, I’d be delighted to help you get started.

Karen

 

Timelines are a great way to visualize a life. Tape a few sheets of paper together, use a pencil or colored pens, your choice, then draw a line down the middle lengthwise. Events you remember as positive go above the line, those that were difficult below the line. You can start anywhere and move forward and backward as you remember.

 

This technique of recalling life events even works in an oral format. Think about helping a friend with this, you can both record the storytelling and remembering as well as work on the paper outline while you talk. It’s especially good for folks who have difficulty writing. You do the writing, they do the talking.

 

Create a timeline of significant events in your life. Include the basics (birth, childhood, education, training, career highlights, love, marriage, children, faith and special interests). Highlight the turning points and special events that helped shape your life. What were your proudest moments, your toughest challenges, your greatest frustrations, your fondest memories?

 

Include the ordinary too. Describe a typical day:   school, farm chores, Sundays, seasonal activities, a day with your best friend, your favorite way to spend a lazy summer afternoon as a child.

 

How were you affected by where you lived at different times in your life? Did you stay in one place or move around? What are your memories of each place you’ve lived?

 

Record or take some notes about stories that convey

those life highlights. You can add more or go deeper at another time.

 

Contact me if you’d like a copy of the questions and information packet I hand out at Life Legacy workshops. I’d love to send it to you to inspire and give you practical help to begin telling your story. (Packet + first class postage only $6)

Want to win some fudge? Sure you do! Answer one of these “Remember the time…?” questions to be entered into the drawing for 1 lb. of Mamie Eisenhower’s Famous Fudge (made by yours truly from an old family recipe) either mailed or delivered to you if you live here in Las Cruces. It’s the best!

 

What world event from the past 5 years would you want to tell your great grandkids about? How about something important that you have learned? It’s up to you to pass it on.

The first 10 people to comment with an answer within the next 7 days will be entered in the drawing.

 

I really want to know what life memory is important to you and can hardly wait to hear from you,

Karen