Blog – Page 5 – Remembering the Time

Small Steps to a Finished Memoir

June 8, 2021June 8, 2021

I truly hope you are having a great day!

This past weekend I took a road trip with my grown children to a family celebration In New Orleans. You may have seen a couple photos I posted to the Remembering the Time FaceBook or Instagram pages. It had been ages since any of us had traveled and we stocked up on road trip food, a crossword puzzle book and a new audio book. We had fun, shared driving, and ate enough bright orange Cheezits to pave a parking lot. Because, well that’s what you do on a road trip.

We also celebrated life and learned more about each other through a fun ice breaker app on the phone. Trust me, this is a great way to connect even with people you’ve known their entire lives! “Really, I didn’t know that!” was repeated often.

Each mile we drove, each special event we participated in with cousins, aunts, uncles, and in laws once we arrived was a small step to building a stronger family. We laughed, we cried, we ate and toasted to life together and remembered our family history.

I am a firm believer in taking small steps to build progress toward a goal. It’s one of the best ways to chunk down a big one. Making incremental progress toward your goal is encouraging, these steps keep you moving as you see progress and help keep you from becoming discouraged.

This is not only an excellent life lesson, it works fantastically for family history and memoir projects too. The beautiful old staircase photo in this post, taken in New Orleans reminds me of the importance of taking small steps.

For example, if you are looking to curate, organize, and make sense of a collection of family mementos, letters, and photos so that others can enjoy them too, you need to do more than just stare at the boxes in frozen overwhelm and frustration.

*Think in categories as you look at your collection

*Begin by choosing 5 examples of each category just to get you started and move past the inertia

This is where a set of outside eyes, skilled in separating the gems from the “stuff” can help you make real progress with your story. I can help with that and get you on track! Want to tackle it yourself first? Here’s a couple easy step choices you can make to get started:

*Try my Quick Start a Memoir class for free on Skillshare. Here’s the link: https://skl.sh/2YUDbkf

Take 30 minutes to watch the class, then do the fun project to help you cut through the fluff and organize your story. Questions? Send me a message and we’ll chat about it.

*Give me a call for a free consultation to inspire and motivate you with ideas and action steps to write your family history or memoir.

Maybe, just maybe, you need to stop thinking about this and take a small action step. I want to encourage you, doing this will build momentum and be one of the most satisfying things you can do to seize the day with your story.

Taking incremental action-steps to tell your story will make sure that it is shared with those you love, not relegated to a dusty box stuffed in the garage. Don’t let that happen to you!

You can bless and serve your family well by taking these small steps. No one ever regretted sharing the wisdom they’ve learned and their precious life memories with their family.

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5 Tips for Outstanding Interviews

May 3, 2021May 3, 2021

by Karen Ray

Today’s short tip sheet is fresh in my mind! I’ve been working with my daughter, who has good videography skills, to create an intro video for the Remembering the Time FaceBook page. I’m usually on the other side of a microphone when doing interviews so this was a fun experience. Got it done in an hour and a few giggly retakes. She’s making it all look pretty and taking out my um’s, ah’s, and mis-speaks.

So…when you’re interviewing a family member or friend for their memoir or another family history project, here’s a few things I’ve learned through years of interviewing people in a wide variety of situations (note: these work great whether it’s a short storytelling session or a longer oral history):

# 1 – Before you set up your recorder – take time to talk story and common ground to build rapport.

# 2 – Don’t stick a microphone in someone’s face if you can avoid it. Set up in a quiet room with few distractions and place the recorder/phone in an unobtrusive position on a table or chair in front of your storyteller. Or make sure their collar microphone is secure. Then engage again in a little small talk to ease nervousness before you begin.

# 3 – Don’t be afraid of silences, they’re thinking. You can gently prompt as needed, “Can you tell me more about…”

# 4 – Don’t turn off the recorder too early! Many of the best side-stories happen when you thought you were done.

# 5 – Have fun, encourage your storyteller, and listen quietly but engaged, making eye contact while they talk.

If you have further questions about interviewing please feel free to get in touch, I’d love to hear from you!

Karen

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Great Ways to Celebrate Your Graduate Part 2

April 8, 2021April 8, 2021

by Karen Ray

In Part 1 we talked about unique ways you can honor the graduates in your life. Specifically, creating a lifestory photo book of their life highlights. If you’ve been busy gathering material like photos, drawings, and keepsakes you’re well on your way to making this memoir gift a reality.

Now, here’s the rest of the story:

11 Interview Questions to Help You Add Interesting Details to Your Graduate’s Story:

What do you think are the 3 most important things in life?

Who was/is your best friend in school and why?

What are 10 things that make you laugh?

What do you imagine the world will look like 100 years from now?

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Who was your favorite teacher and why?

Describe your pet(s) and why you enjoy them.

Describe your siblings and what you enjoy doing together.

What things do you enjoy for fun?

Who has been the kindest to you?

Describe a happy moment in your life.

And lastly, 3 creative ways to bring this gift to life:

Step 3 – Publish Your Story — Print It

Create a tangible book that your graduate can hold and page through, sharing with others. There are several different ways you can do this. While you can craft a beautiful digital book, I highly recommend creating a physical one for this purpose. Here are 3 ideas:

*Scrapbook–A few years ago this was all the rage and can still be a popular tool to creatively share your story. If you enjoy this dig out your supplies, pick up a new album and then give yourself some time to create a beautiful work of art with these saved memories.

*Shutterfly or Similar Photo Book—photo books that can be created online give you quite a bit of creative flexibility and will turn out a nicely bound high quality book. Coupons abound for these types of gifts and the digital creation process is designed to be pretty simple. And yes, you can have both text and photos in the book. Make sure to use both as years from now they’ll want the story behind the photos. Frequent sales with these companies can often bring the price down to not much more than producing it at the local print shop.

*Copy Shop Coil Bound Book—if dollars are tight, never fear, your young person will appreciate and cherish this book format just as much. Here’s a couple ways to do this—first–computer set up– take the photos and text you’ve collected and arrange them in a document on your computer. You can get creative with color, text styles and photo placement. When you like the way it looks create a PDF file to lock everything in place. Then, put it on a jump drive, take it to your local copy shop and have them print up several copies with a coil binding and nice quality paper. Use a heavier glossy cardstock for the cover and glossy finish paper inside to really make those photos pop. A book like this will usually run less than $20 to print.

For each of these options I encourage you to include at least a couple photos that are black and white. You can easily convert your color images to this classic style. They have a timeless quality that somehow shows the subject in a different way that really draws out their personality and character.

Now print or order several copies of your gift book. I guarantee it will stand out and it will be cherished, there is nothing more unique and precious than someone’s life story. Your graduate will treasure this always. And of course, you’ll want one for yourself and other family members as well.

Got questions about how to do this? Feel free to contact me! Have fun and happy graduation to all those students.

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Top 4 Classes to Help You Write Your Memoir

April 5, 2021March 18, 2023

by Karen Ray

Occasionally I curate a few excellent resources that I’ve found helpful and highly recommend. If you’re serious about sharing your memoir or family history here’s my top pick of short classes that will give you the necessary tools, confidence, and encouragement to begin telling your unique story. Each of these can help you make amazing progress writing your memoir or family history. Two of these classes are specifically about writing memoir. The others contain tools and ideas that will help you craft memorable stories, a key element in any writing.

Best part – my class is on the easy-to-use Learndesk platform, I think you’ll like it! You can listen to the other three courses free with a one-month trial of Skillshare. Take mad notes, listen again, dream big, and take action. If you decide you’re loving the great value this teaching platform provides, you can join for a low annual fee that will pay itself back in value many times over. While you’re trying out the platform explore a few other topics from their extensive offering of over 27,000 premium classes and more than 2,000 free classes. (as of March 2019). (I may receive a small affiliate commission on the Skillshare classes)

For example, the technique of taking an event from your life and flipping it into a fiction story will give you an entirely new slant on the events. Excellent teacher Adam Janos will walk you through how it’s done with examples that are sure to get your own creative thoughts flowing.

Author Roxanne Gay will show you how to create short memoirs, also known as personal essays. These can stand alone or be part of a larger work but you’ll learn from a pro about what will resonate and how to write it.

Ready for the nuts and bolts of how to start writing your memoir? Best-selling memoirist Kathy Karr shares “the processes she relies on to write beautiful, visceral scenes.”

How about a jump start on your memoir writing? My class on Learndesk, Tips and Techniques to Quick Start a Memoir, will give you a fun, creatively practical project, and easy directions to help you begin.

Autobiographical Fiction: Write a Short Story from Personal Experience, by writer/reporter Adam Janos

Adam will teach you to brainstorm ideas from your life, transform yourself into a character, and write details. You’ll learn about conflict and pacing with excellent examples. This class can help memoir writers think beyond their ideas for standard memoir and expand their storytelling skills. Click this link to try the class: https://skl.sh/3ss2WY8

2. Creative Writing: Crafting Personal Essays with Impact, by Roxanne Gay

Roxanne’s course is full of “practical guidance, actionable tactics, and example essays” She’ll lead you through the important step of “finding a specific purpose for telling your story”, then how to “connect your work to a larger theme”, and inspire you with how to use your “personal memories to write your story.” Click this link to take Roxanne’s class: https://skl.sh/3rhQ9X2

3. Writing the Truth, How to Start Writing Your Memoir, Mary Karr

Through a series of memory-focused writing exercises, Mary guides you through a clear, actionable plan to help you write your memoir. She “shares her wisdom and perspective on life, writing as a craft….” Mary’s class will help you develop your personal writing voice and hone your storytelling skills to connect with readers. Don’t miss this class, click here to jump right in: https://skl.sh/3cniCq3

4. Tips and Techniques to Quick Start a Memoir, Karen Ray

Yup, this one is mine and I’ve seen these tips, tools, and techniques work wonders! You don’t have to be a “writer” to share your story in a meaningful way. This class will jump-start your memoir or family history project, helping you clarify the 5 W’s of your story, the WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, and WHY. You’ll create a foundational framework to build your personal history project and have fun in the process. This can even stand alone as a mini-memoir. Click here to make fast progress with your memoir or family history:

https://www.learndesk.us/class/4630850123595776/tools-and-techniques-to-quick-start-a-memoir

Start today — Celebrate your life and begin saving those important personal and family memories!

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Great Ways to Celebrate Your Graduate – Part 1

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

by Karen Ray

Students all around the country are working hard and preparing to wrap up their education. The internet is exploding with pet videos to distract and soothe their weary minds and familys everywhere are making plans to celebrate. In this 2-part article I’ll share ideas for saving your favorite graduate’s life memories and adventures to date. Student memoirs rock!

Sharing about what life was like back in the day when our parents and grandparents were in school is a much-loved holiday dinner tradition. Their stories of adventures, struggles and the chore of walking uphill both ways to school always make us groan and laugh. We learn much from their experiences. It sure does me good to hear about not only their grit and determination, but their shenanigans too.

That said, years from now your young person’s family will want to see photos and hear the stories of events that helped shape them into who they are. This will become part of their family history.

You can help with a gift you can make yourself! Here are the first 2 of 3 steps you can take to focus your ideas, gather material, and then share this wonderful story. The key to creating this in a short amount of time is to narrow the scope of your project, gather all your material in one place and then use easy online or physical tools to make it a creative reality.

Step 1
Pick Your Graduate and Your Theme
Let’s use the example of a high school or college age student about to graduate. Decide whether you want to run through quick highlights of their life or focus on a theme of sports, music, hobbies or other interests.

For young folks I highly recommend doing an overview of their life as it shows so many different sides of who they are as a person. This will delight and honor them! Even big “kids” love seeing photos of themselves and hearing stories about growing up. Yes, even though they’ve heard them before. In fact, especially because they’ve heard them before! Include things that show them how valued and loved they are.

We all know the importance of having physical copies of photographs around. In fact, a gifted wedding photographer friend said she could not emphasize this enough. A photo storybook carries the same weight of importance and will be loved and treasured by your graduate.

Besides, when that solar flare or some other catastrophe finally hits, don’t you want your family to have keepsakes they can enjoy without electricity? Oh yes you do! And we all know those convenient cell phones that hold most of your photos sometimes meet an untimely end in laundry or toilet. Don’t make them the sole repository of your life’s memories.

Step 2
Gather Your Material
Pull together photos, artwork, notes, and stories from your graduate’s growing up years. If you decided to work with a theme keep this in mind as you make your choices. I like to take material and photos from about every 2-3 years during a young person’s life. This usually captures major changes and life events and illustrates their progression of growth and interests.

A fun idea is to interview your subject about some of their key memories of growing up. Don’t tell them what it’s for! Even an hour or two of visiting can give you a wealth of stories to transcribe and include in your book. Best of all, you’ll both enjoy the process and you’ll also have their voice telling the stories. How awesome is that?

Best tip ever:
Do include a few school photos … BUT … Include primarily candid photos, not those posed school photos; casual shots truly capture personality.

(Next week, the rest of the story, stay tuned!)
Thanks for sharing your time with me!
Karen

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School Days: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly for Memoir Writers

March 22, 2021March 22, 2021

by Karen Ray

School attendance is a high profile current topic and rightly so. We spend so much of our childhood in school, it has a profound effect on our likes, dislikes, character, love of learning, and friendships. These experiences provide a motherlode of material for memoir writers and family historians.

When I’m doing oral history interviews or memoir coaching, I find that school memories are always a rich source of content. We remember the GOOD, cherish, and laugh about it. We shudder at the BAD and often still carry the scars. We might count the UGLY among our most embarrassing memories, our funniest, or any number of other emotional boxes we shove our stories into.

Working on your family history or memoir? Think about experiences with teachers and schools, both GOOD and BAD. I had many great teachers, a few indifferent ones, some who were pretty average, and yes, some who were just bad. But, doesn’t this describe most of us at different times in our career and lives? We might never know the back stories of those whose lives intersect our own, including teachers and schoolmates. So, I have compassion, healthy boundaries, and have tried to learn from each of these educational realities.

You might have been shamed by a teacher frustrated that you didn’t “get” their favorite subject matter. Geometry anyone? How you handled this, or didn’t, and moved forward is an important part of your story. Maybe you were encouraged by another teacher who saw something positive and excellent in you? Perhaps it was wordsmithing skills in composition class, or your face lighting up (not literally- that might have been on the BAD list) over a chemistry experiment, an art assignment, building something useful in shop class or having a great understanding of history. Whatever it was, these experiences shaped you.

I’ve been an educator much of my life and love to see those “aha” moments when an idea becomes real and personal for someone. It happens in workshops, on zoom calls, even in feedback on social media posts. The lovely thing is, I’m always learning right along with you! Think back on your school experiences. There was GOOD, there was BAD, there was UGLY! Each of these is full of story, dig in and write about them.

Want to join others interested in writing their story? I’ve opened up a new private FaceBook group, Family History & Memoir Writers Fellowship, just for you! We’ll encourage each other in our storytelling journeys, have fun, share stories, crowdsource solutions, and prompt each other with inspiration and great ideas. We’re stronger and more creative together. Click the link above to check it out and I’ll see you on the inside!
Karen

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How to be a Family History Clutter Cutter

March 16, 2021March 16, 2021

by Karen Ray

A friend posted this statement today in a memoir writing discussion thread: “Tomorrow is too late, live today” Then she asked, “Would you agree?” Wow! I can’t stop thinking about this, it’s such an interesting thought and question.

Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!

So many people become stuck in the mire of perfection. Someday, when “x” happens, if this is settled, then I’ll…. We’ve all talked this way. But then…decades go by and you’ve missed out on precious time and memories.

While of course it’s wise to plan and implement for today, tomorrow, and the future, there are opportunities and decisions that must be acted on in the moment. Over analyzing can keep us stuck. That said, it is never too late to take the next right step! As for me, I thrive on balanced living in all three time zones, past, present, and future (I do work with memoir, after all). This one life is a priceless gift and I don’t want to waste a minute of it. So today is simple, sweet, and designed to get you future authors and family historians un-stuck.

Here’s one big Seize the Day tip, it’s like a NEON YELLOW easy button, that can help you move forward with writing your memoir or family history:

#1: REPURPOSE things you’ve already created to get a jumpstart on your memoir content. Can you really do this? Sure thing – letters, recipes, journal entries, newspaper clippings, even descriptions of gifts you’ve made can form the foundation for a new chapter. You can include them as is, expound on the material, or use them as memory prompts. Create a themed collection if you like and make a simple photo book.

Photo book companies send out frequent discounts and can be an easy way to share the story of your keepsakes. Think beyond just photos, you can add story text, recipes, use your imagination. Try Shutterfly, Blurb, Mixbook, Snapfish, Picaboo to name just a few…search for the sales codes.

Now is the ideal time to begin thinking about a simple project to create as a gift for upcoming holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. Books like these gain instant heirloom status and are the secret sauce in memorable gift-giving.

By sharing the story behind family history keepsakes everyone benefits. No one gains if they stay shoved in a box. It is not the item that is of value but the memories behind it. Are you getting the most mileage from these materials you can? Do a little digging and help your family gain a rich understanding of their background and history. You’ll have fun in the process.

Bonus tip: Bet you thought of at least a couple items in your family history collection that you can do this with. Now, go and IMMEDIATELY APPLY these ideas to your treasures while the thought is fresh. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write out everything that comes to mind. Organize it later!

Need help? Feel free to contact me anytime and we’ll brainstorm some options. I’d love to hear from you!

Karen

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11 Interview Questions to Help You Add Interesting Details to Your Graduate’s Story:

Step 3 – Publish Your Story — Print It

Best tip ever:Do include a few school photos … BUT … Include primarily candid photos, not those posed school photos; casual shots truly capture personality.

Best tip ever:
Do include a few school photos … BUT … Include primarily candid photos, not those posed school photos; casual shots truly capture personality.