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I am a born optimist and prefer to look for the good but it’s not all butterflies and kittens out there. Some of the saddest, most painful times in our lives are part of the extraordinary creation process of making us who we are. Heat, pressure, pain, grief, loneliness. Don’t ignore those “negative” events when you’re working on your life story, whether you’re well on your way to processing it or it still just doesn’t make sense. Your scars and damaged bits are part of the whole package.

Ernest Hemingway’s ability to cut straight to the point is admirable, and although I’m not a rabid fan (don’t judge), I’ve learned quite a bit from reading his work. For example, take a look at this profound quote.

“We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in.”

Just like when a bone is broken, it knits together stronger in that place. Years ago I was turning my horse out to pasture one afternoon; she was young, the granddaughter of a race horse and a bit high strung. In her joy to run free she kicked sideways like a karate boss and caught my forearm. Yes, it broke. This was my first experience with a broken bone and the pain was stunning! However, my arm was across my chest at the time, which means that piston kick with a thousand pounds behind it did not hit my heart. Neither did she connect with my head 12 inches higher.

That bone is stronger now but it also hurts when I overuse it and I’m starting to be able to tell the weather by how it feels, just like Grandpa used to do. It is a reminder to me of the grace that I walked away from that accident. Well, sort of, first I crawled. But—I never let go of the lead rope! It is a reminder that sometimes I need to slow down a little, pay attention and be thankful for the moment.

 

The broken emotional places that let the light in, as Hemingway noted, are many and varied too. Can you see how these things in your life have grown compassion, mercy and grace in you? I can.

Today’s memoir prompt—

Go sit next to the sadness or the anger. Don’t run away from it. Write about it with honesty and you will take a giant step toward healing and allowing this thing to take its proper place in your history. Try writing the story as just facts. Then, re-write it with the emotion or write what “should” have happened, what you’d do differently. Then—move forward, lighter and wiser.

Have you ever taken the road less traveled? Did something unexpected happen? Changing up your routine can help you see your life and choices in a different context. This can be especially helpful while you’re working on a memoir.

 

Put yourself in a different place/situation, with different people, eating different food and you will become more aware of your senses. You’ll pay closer attention and notice things you’ve previously raced by in oblivious routine. Each week, during a six week concentrated writing session, do one new thing a week. It might be as simple as taking a different route to or from work each day or wearing something that’s a very different style than your typical clothing choices. Maybe you’ll sit in a different place on the bus, read a different book. Do you see a pattern here? Different. Mix it up a bit and it will focus your senses. Keep a notebook with you and jot short notes about those sensory reactions: smells, taste, touch, sight, and hearing.

 

Here’s a bit of Mr. Robert Frost to illustrate the point (and because I’m a poetry geek!)

 

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear

 

…Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

 

Incorporate sensory descriptions from your new experiences into the stories surrounding your old memories. Then, when you sit down to write or record this week re-live the events you’re writing about, but with added texture, using your heightened awareness of sensory perception. It will make your story richer and your memories just come alive.

You know those old letters and journals of awesome adventures you love reading? Well, the authors were once young kids too. Who do you think encouraged and mentored them, gave them not only a sense of adventure, but the desire to write it down?

April 10th is National Encourage a Young Writer Day. But, I’m giving you a head’s up so that you have time to do something about it this weekend.

The act of writing down your experiences helps you to think about them, figure out how they fit into your life, how you’re going to go forward afterwards with that new experience under your belt. What did you learn? What do you think others might learn or value from your experience?

 

My parents blessed me by encouraging me to write, even really bad poems in second grade. Yes, I still write poetry, but I like to think it’s gotten a bit better. They provided ample opportunities and support to give me confidence to try new things, egging me on to stretch what I thought I was capable of. They also encouraged me to laugh when I was taking things, like myself, too seriously.

 

The Bible tells the story of an encourager named Barnabas. Barney made it a habit to mentor and encourage others, in particular a young man who needed a second chance, Timothy. Guess what, Timmy grew up and wrote a book!

 

Who can you be a “Barney” to today?

 

We’ve created two fun, colorful workbooks to help you encourage the budding writers in your family. One book is geared to elementary level students and the other for mid high and high school. Use them to inspire great conversations and teach life skills like interviewing, listening, research and creative writing. Looking for a unique gift? Order one today and help your favorite young person celebrate a birthday or special event like Grandma Camp during the summer. I can even create customized gift packages. Who knows what might happen with a little inspiration and encouragement for your youngster!

 

Contact me at Karen@rememberingthetime.net for more information or to order books. I’d love to hear how you’re encouraging the young people in your life!

This is one time Nintendo got it right– you remember the “Quit Screen” message, admit it. Don’t be caught unaware–even though you may want to jump on Yoshi and ride off into the sunset, it’s time to do your homework. Awww, Mom!

 

Put down the controller and the remote—give yourself the gift of a bit of reflection. In 50 years no one is going to know what Mario and his compadres were all about, isn’t it up to you to share the joy and preserve this for the annals of time? Ok, so a bit tongue in cheek here but today we’re approaching things from outside the (X) box.

 

Older folks consistently say one of the things their grandkids want to hear about is what kind of games they played when they were young, what they did for fun, what “technology” was like back in the day.

 

Well, Sonny, let me just park mah T-Rex 2000 here for a minute and I’ll tell you how it was…

 

I must admit, my driving skills with Mario Kart were abysmal. Gah!! Why do I keep spinning around backwards? I try—but let’s just say that the “kids” have had to extract me from the corner in Minecraft too. But, hey, I play a mean game of Monopoly. And I am the Queen of 3 letter words in Boggle.

 

Informal Poll—Let us know your favorite childhood game

 

You, dear reader, can jump start the process and talk about your days of youth while they’re still fresh in your mind. Princess Peach, Bowser, Toad, Luigi or the Mario Man himself, who was your favorite and why? Or maybe you’re more of a Risk fan or Settlers of Catan. Go Fish, anyone?

 

While you’re reminiscing about game days with your pals, take some time and ask your folks what they did for fun. It will make for great conversation and I bet you’ll learn something new about them. Did they build forts, steer the earth with a shovel, have bottle rocket wars using trash can lid shields? Did they play dress up, soap box derbies, sledding, climbing, jumping off all kinds of things, stuff that made their mothers yell, “Don’t do that you’ll put your eye out!” Hair raising tales of derring-do—go look it up in the dictionary (bet you heard that one too).

 

What made you feel like Super Mario with all the stars twinkling around you as you zipped off on your next quest? Remember the joy of imagination!

 

Hope the only quit screen message you get is an April Fool’s Joke. Gotcha!

While living in North Dakota years ago I was amazed at the societal standard of tidiness among the folks with Scandinavian and German background. Lots of Norwegians up there. And some pretty funny Ole and Lena jokes, but that’s a story for another time. This was a very different way of life than I’d grown up with here in the sunny Southwest. I missed the more relaxed atmosphere of New Mexico. But—those northerners sure got things like road work and construction done in a hurry with harsh winters breathing down their necks.

 

A friend spoke of how her Scandinavian grandmother used to take the furniture out of the house every spring. Yes, all the furniture. Then, they’d get buckets of shellac and big sticky brushes and re-coat every last piece in the front yard. When my friend inherited the lovely old furniture it had decades of shellac on it –she was pretty sure it was holding everything together.

 

Someone asked the other day if it was possible to shellac her face for the preservation qualities.  Hah! No, don’t do that— age and wrinkles, grey hair are all part of the masterpiece. 

 

Spring cleaning led to thoughts of art and what makes something beautiful. Recently I saw a photo and short essay on this subject that was so profound I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it. I’ve been unable to find it again but the gist of it is:

 

Written beneath a photograph of a beautiful young woman in her early 20’s is a challenge to the viewer to look at the human body as a blank canvas. When you see a baby, its skin is perfect and beautiful, a blank canvas. It is the living of life, the wonderful ordinary daily, the hardship, the joy and tears that create a one of a kind masterpiece on that human canvas.

No two works of art or human beings are alike and each tells a story.

 

 

Think of it this way, a genealogy is like your family tree; it has roots, a trunk and branches. It’s useful and there is beauty in the structure, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. A personal history, on the other hand, is like putting leaves and maybe even fruit (or nuts?) on the family tree. It’s the stories behind the framework of who begat who and who married who, usually in the reverse order.

 

Baker, Butcher, Candlestick Maker?

 

We all have family stories and legends about the folks who came to America and why. Some of you were here first and had to watch all the neighbors moving in. Some came for opportunity. Others came because opportunity had run out where they were. Some were on the wrong side of a political uprising. Pirates, tinkers, farmers, teachers, wheelwrights and preachers, as well as everyone in between. Who’s hanging out in your back-story?

All these ancestral immigrants shared a common humanity and a desire for a better life. Sometimes it was the choice between death where they were and life in a new country. Think about all the fascinating stories you can dig up behind those old black and white photos or the tales Grandma used to tell. Dig a little deeper, ask some questions and take some notes. Can you imagine your grandkids not knowing what Great Uncle Mike or Abuelo Jose did working in the fields or mines to create a new life out of sheer grit and determination? They need to know. Period.

 

You might be surprised; those kiddos may just put down the IPod to hear the story. Make them hungry for their history!

 

In her blog, Quiet Revolution, Susan Cain shares an amazing story about family and provides some wonderful guidance for telling your own history. Read it at: http://www.quietrev.com/how-to-tell-your-own-life-story/

Take a step in the direction of growing some of those leaves on that family tree and discover the fascinating history behind your genealogy. Contact me to get started, I would love to hear your story.