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“Everything not saved will be lost”

This is one time Nintendo got it right– you remember the “Quit Screen” message, admit it. Don’t be caught unaware–even though you may want to jump on Yoshi and ride off into the sunset, it’s time to do your homework. Awww, Mom!

 

Put down the controller and the remote—give yourself the gift of a bit of reflection. In 50 years no one is going to know what Mario and his compadres were all about, isn’t it up to you to share the joy and preserve this for the annals of time? Ok, so a bit tongue in cheek here but today we’re approaching things from outside the (X) box.

 

Older folks consistently say one of the things their grandkids want to hear about is what kind of games they played when they were young, what they did for fun, what “technology” was like back in the day.

 

Well, Sonny, let me just park mah T-Rex 2000 here for a minute and I’ll tell you how it was…

 

I must admit, my driving skills with Mario Kart were abysmal. Gah!! Why do I keep spinning around backwards? I try—but let’s just say that the “kids” have had to extract me from the corner in Minecraft too. But, hey, I play a mean game of Monopoly. And I am the Queen of 3 letter words in Boggle.

 

Informal Poll—Let us know your favorite childhood game

 

You, dear reader, can jump start the process and talk about your days of youth while they’re still fresh in your mind. Princess Peach, Bowser, Toad, Luigi or the Mario Man himself, who was your favorite and why? Or maybe you’re more of a Risk fan or Settlers of Catan. Go Fish, anyone?

 

While you’re reminiscing about game days with your pals, take some time and ask your folks what they did for fun. It will make for great conversation and I bet you’ll learn something new about them. Did they build forts, steer the earth with a shovel, have bottle rocket wars using trash can lid shields? Did they play dress up, soap box derbies, sledding, climbing, jumping off all kinds of things, stuff that made their mothers yell, “Don’t do that you’ll put your eye out!” Hair raising tales of derring-do—go look it up in the dictionary (bet you heard that one too).

 

What made you feel like Super Mario with all the stars twinkling around you as you zipped off on your next quest? Remember the joy of imagination!

 

Hope the only quit screen message you get is an April Fool’s Joke. Gotcha!

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Radical Idea Roundup

Walk across the bridge to the stories of another generation. Take a look at this roundup of some of the most innovative inter-generational ideas out there. Watch at least one and let it re-frame and shape the context of how you think about those you interact with. Could you learn something new? Perhaps you have something to offer across those artificial generational boundaries? Rethink the concept of mentoring, it goes both directions and is a relational resource that has profound impact on each person involved.

Preschool in Nursing Home Promotes Growth & Friendship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ6WtLV00H8

Students Benefit from Visits with Senior Citizens

http://www.mcla.edu/news1/2016-June/students-benefit-from-visits-with-elderly

Music Students Live at Cleveland Retirement Home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW2KNGgRNX8

Raising Men Lawn Care Service

https://www.gofundme.com/RMLCS2017

Seniors Socializing with Students

http://baylorlariat.com/2015/11/03/socializing-with-seniors-students-wacos-elderly-form-relationships-through-local-organizations/

Lifetimes across Generations

http://www.legacyproject.org

Is there something in your community that you could help with? If not, what about starting something?

Be intentional when you spend time with your family or that neighbor young or old and who knows, you might start a quietly radical revolution in your own small corner of the world.

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What do Shellac and Age Have in Common?

While living in North Dakota years ago I was amazed at the societal standard of tidiness among the folks with Scandinavian and German background. Lots of Norwegians up there. And some pretty funny Ole and Lena jokes, but that’s a story for another time. This was a very different way of life than I’d grown up with here in the sunny Southwest. I missed the more relaxed atmosphere of New Mexico. But—those northerners sure got things like road work and construction done in a hurry with harsh winters breathing down their necks.

 

A friend spoke of how her Scandinavian grandmother used to take the furniture out of the house every spring. Yes, all the furniture. Then, they’d get buckets of shellac and big sticky brushes and re-coat every last piece in the front yard. When my friend inherited the lovely old furniture it had decades of shellac on it –she was pretty sure it was holding everything together.

 

Someone asked the other day if it was possible to shellac her face for the preservation qualities.  Hah! No, don’t do that— age and wrinkles, grey hair are all part of the masterpiece. 

 

Spring cleaning led to thoughts of art and what makes something beautiful. Recently I saw a photo and short essay on this subject that was so profound I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it. I’ve been unable to find it again but the gist of it is:

 

Written beneath a photograph of a beautiful young woman in her early 20’s is a challenge to the viewer to look at the human body as a blank canvas. When you see a baby, its skin is perfect and beautiful, a blank canvas. It is the living of life, the wonderful ordinary daily, the hardship, the joy and tears that create a one of a kind masterpiece on that human canvas.

No two works of art or human beings are alike and each tells a story.

 

 

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Story–The Difference Between Personal History and Genealogy

Family Tree Stories

Think of it this way, a genealogy is like your family tree; it has roots, a trunk and branches. It’s useful and there is beauty in the structure, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. A personal history, on the other hand, is like putting leaves and maybe even fruit (or nuts?) on the family tree. It’s the stories behind the framework of who begat who and who married who, usually in the reverse order.

 

Baker, Butcher, Candlestick Maker?

 

We all have family stories and legends about the folks who came to America and why. Some of you were here first and had to watch all the neighbors moving in. Some came for opportunity. Others came because opportunity had run out where they were. Some were on the wrong side of a political uprising. Pirates, tinkers, farmers, teachers, wheelwrights and preachers, as well as everyone in between. Who’s hanging out in your back-story?

All these ancestral immigrants shared a common humanity and a desire for a better life. Sometimes it was the choice between death where they were and life in a new country. Think about all the fascinating stories you can dig up behind those old black and white photos or the tales Grandma used to tell. Dig a little deeper, ask some questions and take some notes. Can you imagine your grandkids not knowing what Great Uncle Mike or Abuelo Jose did working in the fields or mines to create a new life out of sheer grit and determination? They need to know. Period.

 

You might be surprised; those kiddos may just put down the IPod to hear the story. Make them hungry for their history!

 

In her blog, Quiet Revolution, Susan Cain shares an amazing story about family and provides some wonderful guidance for telling your own history. Read it at: http://www.quietrev.com/how-to-tell-your-own-life-story/

Take a step in the direction of growing some of those leaves on that family tree and discover the fascinating history behind your genealogy. Contact me to get started, I would love to hear your story.

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Remembering History: National Old Stuff Day

I like rust. No, really, show me a nice shiny new something and an old rusty something and I’ll pick up the rusty one, gravitating to it even though it screams “tetanus shot!” Old rusty whatmacallits have a story to tell, a history all their own. Probably several. Who owned it, who invented it? What is it for? How many hands have held it, used it, where has it traveled?

Imagine

If I was lucky enough to have this beauty of an old truck sitting on my place waiting for that “someday restoration” I would take my trusty pencil and paper, creeaakkkk the door open, climb up on the dusty seat, brush aside the bird nest and avoid the broken spring and just think. Imagine the history this old rusty truck remembers: the dad driving to work, the young girl learning to drive with Grandpa’s help, the courting couple smooching under the moonlight. Or the young man sent to town to fetch the doctor for the imminent arrival of  one of his children. Maybe its a grinning boy in overalls, arm stuck out the door holding onto the lead of a colt trotting alongside, or kids wrestling with a pair of squirming, wet nosed puppies in the bed of the truck.

Use Your Senses

Can you just see the stories? Can you hear them? Can you smell them? Who knows, maybe you can even taste them like cold lemonade on a muggy August day.

Tell that Story

Take a family heirloom and sit down and really study it, talk about where its been. What is its history? Try to tell a story from the perspective of that item. Grandpa’s shaving kit maybe? Tia Maria’s rolling pin? Make the story up as you go if you have kids, they’ll be delighted and beg for more!

The hands down best video I’ve ever seen about the history of an old object and the stories it holds is one about an old leather bag. It was created by Stephen Kenn and shared by Entrepreneur Stu McLaren (from a workshop by Don Miller):

Now, go dry your eyes and hug somebody!

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Talking Story

My dear friend Maureen in Hawaii reminds me of the importance of “Talking Story.” This is a cultural thing not just in that lovely state but other places too. In fact, it is one of the things that makes us uniquely human. You can hear it visiting with farmers here in New Mexico, standing together, watching the irrigation water flow into the onion field and hearing the story of how their family came to this country four generations ago. You can see it in the eyes of the Native American man standing in his cool, shadowed room at the Taos Pueblo as he speaks of horse training and how the hot springs ease the aches and pains afterwards.

 

Look for the Story

I’ve learned to look for story wherever I am and to give margin and space for hearing. It’s not all about business and deadlines, of course we have to finish the task, but take the time to hear the stories too.

Continue reading “Talking Story”

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Mama Always Told Me…

Stuck by the side of the road? It’s an adventure! Lost in a strange town? It’s an adventure! Found a gorgeous little beach off the coast highway? It’s an adventure!

My parents loved to travel and raised my brother and me with a good sense of adventure. Every summer, as soon as school let out we’d load up the camper and tag along on my dad’s business trips. The route always took in a great number of other things on the way to and from wherever we were going. Dollars were short but my folks managed to work in the gift of travel this way and expand our borders. I still find travel to be a great form of education and inspiration.

Planning a roadtrip with your family or friends soon? The Parked in Paradise website has some great tips about getting the most of your next adventure. Their Roadtrip Handbook to the USA is the perfect guide for inspiration and guidance to make it a success.

Some of the images in my memory bank:

Crawdad fishing in a crystal cold Oregon stream, with our jeans rolled up to our knees, then cooking our catch in the camper as the rain beat on the roof. Singing “Chantilly Lace” at the top of our lungs along with the Big Bopper on the oldies station. Sledding on the north slope of a Colorado mountain in June during a long haul drive to somewhere else. The, “Hey, let’s stop by the road and you kids can sled on your coats” moment. Reading massive numbers of Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew mysteries to pass the time during the drives. Wow! Such great memories. My folks taught us to look for the serendipity in life—those sometimes spontaneous, sometimes planned treasures of time, location or people met along the way.

This gift of a sense of adventure has stood me in good stead through life, providing needed flexibility, a sense of humor and anticipation. Have to admit, I’m a planner so I’m still working on the flexibility part! But Mom’s words, shouted back through the wind, “Isn’t this an adventure?!” as we cruised down the highway on a motorcycle, my 12 year old lanky arms wrapped around her, have stayed with me for several more decades down the road.

I think of conversations overheard as a child sitting around a circle of adults, listening as they recounted experiences, hunting trips, babies (this one not so much), travels and interesting people they had met. Maybe it’s inevitable that I grew up loving words and now focus on honoring people’s lives by telling their stories. Each life is a God given unique gift, something to cherish.

In this blog I’ll be sharing thoughts on life adventures, memories and storytelling and give you some tools and inspiration for sharing them with your family. Sometimes we’ll talk a little history, after all we’re part of the ongoing stream and human beings haven’t changed any over the years! Most of all I hope to encourage you to talk to the people in your life, young and old, about their memories, hopes and dreams. They will feel valued, you might learn something and you both will have the joy of sharing stories.

I invite you to share your life journey, contact me and let me know your memories, the things that matter in your life and what you’ve learned from others. Will this be the year you share your story?

(article updated 1/20/21)

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Contact Me

Please contact me for more information or to to schedule a free consultation. I look forward to visiting with you.






    Karen Ray Photo

    Karen Ray

    Address: 331 Bristol Avenue, Las Cruces, NM, 88001

    Phone: 575-323-1048


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