Blog

Did you know you don’t have to be “older” (whatever that is) to share a slice of ordinary daily life in a remarkable way? My young friend Jenny Shuster brought readers into a typical evening in her life in less than 200 stunningly beautiful words. Please read and let her show you how it’s done!

 

“My life is nowhere near the “American dream”. But it is beautiful in its own way. This evening, as I helped Carissa take a bath, I could hear Sophia practicing a beautiful Mozart aria in her room. The rhythmic clink of weights coming from John’s room added erratic punctuation to her singing. Our lodger Lydia was in the living room deep in homework for her graduate class. Dad was working his usual culinary magic in the kitchen preparing a hearty dinner for the hungry horde. And Mom was out with the last of the sunlight preparing the garden for spring. Not long after dinner (we usually eat late) Bill would be home from work, and we all would enjoy a few hours of each other’s company. 

Again, my life hasn’t turned out the way I planned. But God has led me through everything and blessed me beyond what I could imagine. I do not know what the future holds for me. But I find rest and joy in the arms of my Heavenly Father! He has always taken care of me. I know He will continue to do so!”

 

Thanks for sharing Jenny!

I’d love to read your slice of life too, please send it in.

Today many of us are Irish wannabes. Your version of mixing the cultures might mean something like a green burrito. Or it may go much deeper. Do you have family roots that grew out of the Emerald Isle? You’d be surprised at how far the web of cultural intermingling extends.

 

There are many historical links between Mexico and Ireland, often leading to marriages and families founded as a friendly cross cultural partnership here in the southwest.  As comedian Brian Regan likes to tease, “and one thing led to another….” I’ve met several families here in southern New Mexico proud of their shared heritage.

 

Take a look at these excerpts from an excellent article from the Houston Institute for Culture

THE IRISH PRESENCE IN MEXICO
By Rose Mary Salum

(excerpt)

“Another prominent Irishman who had a hand in Mexican politics was Dublin-born Hugh O’Connor, who moved to Nueva España to escape the harsh conditions that reigned in Ireland at that time. In his adopted homeland, he became one of the most notable bureaucrats, taking office as governor of the region of Texas and commander of the northern frontier. He was also the founder of the town now known as Tucson, Arizona. In the 18th century, several bureaucrats and officers who represented Spain in Mexico were either Irish, or of Irish descent. O’Connor was one of the most important and distinguished.”

…

“The Irish division was known as Los San Patricios, or “Those of Saint Patrick.” It participated in all the major battles of the war and was cited for bravery by General López de Santa Anna, the Mexican Commander in Chief and President.”

Salum points out:

“The Irish in Mexico have an honorable reputation and a respectable legacy. To this day, an Irishman will be told countless times about the famous “Irish martyrs” who defected from the U.S. Army and gave their lives trying to save Mexico from U.S. aggression.”

 

So, on this St. Patrick’s Day 2018, as you honor the remarkable, real Patrick, born in 385 A.D. (original name Maewyn Succat), may you be inspired to toast your Irish and Mexican ancestors alike.

Let me know what Bit o’ the Irish you found in your heritage.

Today I saw super heroes, without capes, doing many amazing and wonderful things.  I had stopped by Buddy Day, sponsored by Down Syndrome Families of Las Cruces at a nearby park. The early spring grounds were packed with kids and their families zipping around, having a blast in the jumping balloons, eating hot dogs and nachos and cuddling the animals in the petting zoo. Horses pulled trolleys loaded with grinning kids around the park. Local first responders provided thrills, patient explanations, and boosts to look inside their shiny fire trucks and ambulances.

What a Good Day!

Spiderman and Mickey Mouse were also making the rounds, kneeling down to hug children, high fiving them, and listening to their excited chatter. It started me thinking. Here’s a great little game to play with kids that will encourage them to think about what makes them unique. It also gives you a chance to help them see their extended family and others through a different lens.

A Superhero lens

Here’s the 4 step easy plan:

Collect a few basic art supplies: paper, crayons, pencils, etc. maybe even some modeling clay and watercolor paints.

1–Ask your kids what their super power is. Have them describe themselves and their super power. If they’re too young or  have trouble writing, have them tell you and then you, as the Superhero’s Administrative Assistant or Superhero Sidekick (trust me, they’ll love this), can write it down for them. Check out this blog from Linda Hunter of Pretend City Children’s Museum:

Wearing a Superman Cape can Help Preschoolers!

2–Have the kids draw, paint, make a sculpture or otherwise use some of those art materials to create a visual model of themselves as a superhero or otherwise showing their superhero awesomeness.

Bonus Tip: Here’s a link from SmartParentAdvice.com to more fun activities you can do with your toddlers and young children.  These provide the perfect chance to wear your Superhero gear!

3–Talk about parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers—someone older than them. Ask your kids “What’s Grandma’s superpower?” “How do you think Uncle Jim is a superhero?” Write the description, draw the picture. Maybe you’ve got Grandma in a red cape, wielding a rolling pin and making the best pie ever, maybe Uncle Jim’s superpower is being a fireman and helping people, or fixing cars. Maybe Aunt Tina’s cape has dog bones on it and she’s the best puppy trainer you’ve ever seen.

Final step:

4–Share the superhero goodness with the people you’ve honored. Ask some more questions about their super power and how they use it to help people. You might even take your collection of family super hero pictures and descriptions and put them together into a simple photocopied book. Make extras and share them with each other.

Love, laughter, appreciation and joy magnified!

As promised, let’s talk about how to use the objects in your life to weave the threads of a story. The Sewing Machine, by Natalie Fergie is currently on Amazon’s best seller list. This fascinating novel uses a common household tool as the common element tying together lives and families across generations. I’ve decided not to give you too many details as I don’t want to spoil a good read. If you think you’ve seen this plot before let me challenge you—you have never seen it quite like this!

 

You will never look at the mundane objects in your life the same way after reading this book. It will open your eyes to nuances of story and coincidences that have affected your own life. It will make you think. Any maybe dismiss the whole notion of coincidence.

 

Some themes to consider as you think about any objects in your life that might serve as generational connectors or story starters:

 

Trace the history of an object through your family tree. You can use the history of an object to both anchor and tell your own family history. This popular technique is used by fiction writers and works beautifully in writing your memoir too.

Is there something that has been passed down through the generations? Trace its origins, who held it for a time and why. Who has it now? Why? Where do you think it will go next? Can you imagine a few generations down the road who might cherish it? Why?

There is value in castoffs– people and things—why is this particular object valued?

 

Different people value objects for different reasons,

can you trace the attitudes of your object’s previous owners?

 

One of my clients has a rolling pin that is very special to her. She is a great natural story teller and loves to pass on the history of this object. And her grown children and their children love to hear it. Grandma’s rolling pin has a legacy all its own.

It started as a wedding gift many generations ago, prior to the Civil War. It was lovingly passed down and is part of a tradition of pie making and biscuit rolling that touches the heartstrings of all in the family. It connects them. It isn’t just a chunk of hardwood; it is the memoirs of family gatherings, of joyful times celebrated, of grief shared. It is the connecting piece, witnessing future hopes as little hands are coached in how to roll out the pastry evenly and as new grandchildren are bounced on knees over a piece of after-dinner pie. It sits in testimony to the love and resilience of family as friendly bantering bounces around the kitchen about which kinds of pies to bake this year.

Assignment:

Make a list of the important objects in your life.

 

You will probably see one or two rise to the top with a feeling of emotion and poignancy that shouts out “Tell my story!” Now, get that thing and hold it, look at it, really see it in all the details. Let your mind wander over everything you know about it and the people who have cherished it before you. See how many points of connection you can make with that object(s).  !

When you’re done with this little exercise you will probably have enough material for several chapters or your own little mini-memoir using this object as the thread.

Good luck and have fun!

Who isn’t transported back to a childhood of summer nights when you light up a sparkler? How about when you smell a new box of crayons? Fresh grass, saddle soap and leather? What things bring on the memories for you?

 

Look around your house, pick out three objects that someone else has given you. Write a short paragraph about each one:  who gave it to you, what was going on in your life at that time, how the gift or person made you feel.

 

 

What emotions and memories are called up when you see or hold that object? This is a great tool to use with people of all ages. Holding a tangible object often helps our brains call up vivid memories. Working with someone with a fading memory? Try this technique to realize a breakthrough and delight the one you love. Working with children? Many of their memories involve things they can touch and feel, mine the wealth of concrete images to help them remember.

 

I recently read a sample of The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha. If you’re looking for some inspiration to prompt your memory trips or visits with others pick this up. Some of the Awesome-ness Pasricha writes about lie in things, others in experiences.

In fact, to celebrate life I’m giving away a copy to one person. I’ll draw the winner’s name from those that comment with an example of an object and the memories it holds for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My father passed away a few days ago.  He would have loved this book and I wish I’d had a chance to share it with him. We often talked about the beauty of the ordinary. The small mother of pearl pocketknife he gave me when I was a teenager brings back many memories. Those thoughts springboard my mind further into the past to childhood fishing and camping trips when he took the time to teach me the proper way to use one. My first successful smoothly peeled white pine stick, the coppery taste of a nicked thumb when I didn’t pay attention, the gleaming trout caught with his help, cleaned with a pocketknife and cooked in the heavy cast iron skillet.

 

An old blue flannel shirt that he wore on outdoor adventures is precious to me. Touching it calls up memories of campfire smoke, horses and the clean warm smell of pine and leather.

 

A copy of The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings. He encouraged me to read it and said how much he had enjoyed it. I did and cried over the beauty and sadness of the story. He listened and understood. Understood all that was unspoken in my full heart. And hugged me.

 

“I do not understand how anyone can live

without some small place of enchantment to turn to.” … M. Rawlings

 

Another book, The Trees Stand Shining: Poetry of the North American Indians. The first book of poetry I’d ever read. The copyright is 1971. My childish signature is scrawled carefully inside the front cover. A precious object.

 

At the edge of the world

It is growing light.

The trees stand shining.

I like it.

It is growing light.

 

These objects are just things. Their priceless value is not monetary but in their ability to take me to people, places and times that have places of honor in my heart.

May you rightly hold the objects in your life as connections to the people you love. What objects can you put your hands on today that take you back? Going to visit an elderly friend or relative this weekend? Take along something to prompt their memories. We love to read books about the things that connect the threads of our lives. In fact, next week I’ll bring you a review of a recent read that beautifully shows how this is done.

Karen

O’Tay Spanky! Want the story but hate to write? I can help with that–you talk, I’ll write about your gang. Whether you’re planning a family reunion this year and want to capture those family stories, or Aunt Mabel and Uncle Jim just crack you up with their memories and life view, don’t wait till yet another year has gone by.

Poll your family and find out what kinds of stories they most want to know.

 

 

Weekly Tip:

Come up with your top 10 life events

 

Don’t edit them, just write ‘em down. The recollections that rise to the top are the natural place to start. Then we can have a fun, focused conversation where I help you flesh out the events, drawing out the details and the who, what, where, when and why.

 

I like to think of it as gold mining. And boy can I help you get to the precious stuff.  I’ll do all the heavy lifting and you will have the joy of accomplishment as you hold that book in your hands or listen to the recording of the person you love telling their story.

 

 

Here’s some inspiration:

In The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Writing a Memoir, author Victoria Costello prompts the reader:

“Like reliable old friends, these familiar faces, lines of conversations, favorite songs, and images of pivotal events are always there…these memories will give you some starting places from which to begin brainstorming.”

 

We’ll work together to pick a theme or focus, then I’ll customize your personal history project to your needs. There’s no reason why this can’t be the year you tell your story. Or — you can gang up, in a friendly way of course, on your much loved relatives. Everybody pitch in make it happen as a gift for your parents’ anniversary or Grandma or Grandpa’s important birthday.

 

The story journey is part of the gift—they’ll never get another one like it.

 

Can you believe it? We’re already through January! We are booking for family reunions now, working in partnership with a talented local photographer to get those photos of your family’s one-of-a-kind precious faces. Need a workshop or speaker for your civic group? Add your event to our calendar today.

 

A big steaming cup of UGH! Can you think of a mistake that changed the direction of your life? That made you grow? C.S. Lewis said “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

 

Let’s keep it real here—that you thought would mortify you to death but that you just laugh about now?

 

I remember the time as a teenager that I was modeling some clothes in a local boutique. A very high end boutique. Clothing changes had to be quick and no one was there to double check the view before I stepped out onto the floor. After a too-quick check in the dressing room mirror out I sauntered in some fancy outfit. After a few minutes wander through the store I went back to change and caught a glimpse of the rear view. Caught a bit too much of the rear view actually. I had wandered elegantly around the floor with the back of the dress tucked up into my pantyhose. Pure mortification as only a 17 year old can feel it! I hid in the dressing room until the handful of shoppers left.

 

Important lesson learned–how to laugh at oneself.

AND–check that mirror twice.

 

Many memories are of much greater  significance than this goofy one. Some  we’ll always look back on with tears. Things we’d do or say differently. There are times I wish I’d been kinder, more compassionate, more patient, more courageous. Yes, but there are times I got it right too, stood firm, went the extra mile, loved not perfectly but well. Can you turn around and take a good look at where you are now? Where you’re going?

 

Your past shapes your present and future but it does not trap you.

 

Ask those you care for about the transformative moments in their lives. Try to hit these three main categories:

 

Humorous

Sad

Thoughtful

 

Give someone the gift of listening to their story and help them pull up memories and emotions that make them who they are today. You just might learn something!