Don’t be the Queen of Denial


This month has been full of hard things for so many people — tragic storms, earthquakes, fires, etc. How do you write about hopes and dreams that have gone up in flames, been drowned by sorrow or circumstance or crumbled to pieces in the shaking of life? I’m not talking  about the dreams you wake up from. The hopes and wishes kind.


Here’s some ideas for writing about and dealing with the hard life memories or broken hopes and dreams. They’re part of your story too.


-Describe the dream

-Relate what happened as if you are on the outside observer

-Go back and write about it with the emotion and feelings

-Now, try writing a new ending, what could have happened, what should have happened, what would have happened if….


This is not about being the Queen of Denial; it’s about frame of reference.


Author Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries wrote an insightful article entitled To Get Over Something Write About It  for the Harvard Business Review. His basic premise, upheld by research spanning over 100 years is this:

“The combination of reflective writing and talking about certain key experiences creates a powerful force to help us surmount difficulties and can hasten our capacity to come to terms with (or to digest) events and move on.”


The health benefits of writing about your life are extensive and span the whole of mental, physical and spiritual experience. How you think about the circumstances can help settle it in your memory in a way that is realistic about your life and memories and also helps you move forward with hope, joy and new dreams.

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    Karen Ray

    Address: 331 Bristol Avenue, Las Cruces, NM, 88001

    Phone: 575-323-1048